May 06, 2004

So Mark didn't come home from school today.

No, he didn't run away.
He went to Mikeys house afterschool and called me from there to say where he was.
Then he called me a few minutes ago and asked to sleep over there tonight and he will go to school with Mikey in the morning.
As much as I wanted to say no, I said yes because I just feel like I have to loosen the rope a little bit and start letting him hang out more with his friends.
I don't want to.
I want to keep them home and safe with me always but I have to let them grow up and live and be their own persons.
I know it's a school night but his parents are home and they are going to take them to school in the morning.
I have to trust.
I have to let him go just a little bit.
Why do they have to grow up at all?
I know some moms have recently said that as much as they love their kids, they sometimes hate the job.
They say it's ok to admit that they hate the job.
I love the job.
I love being a mom.
I always have.
Not once have I ever uttered to anyone that I regret them or being their mom or hating the job of being a mom.
Not for even one day.
I haven't liked being puked on or peed on but I've never hated it.
We all need breaks from time to time to just be a woman and hang with other adults but never have I hated the job.
Never.
I want them to stay with me always.

Why so mushy Kat?
I'll explain later.