July 10, 2004

The long day is over.

I had a very long but good day.
I surfed around from my sisters house on dial up so it was kinda of slow so I didn't leave many comments places. But I checked in on most of you.
My back is just fried today.
I have done way more walking this week than I should have. I pushed myself so I could get out and do stuff with Heidi.
Going to the movies with her and the store and drugstore etc etc etc.
I wanted to go. I like going but my body just ain't what it should be. I am so paying for it tonight let me tell ya.
We had to go to the store again tonight and I swear, I must have made her stop walking at least 8 times on a less than 1 mile walk to the store.
It just hurt so fucking much.
I hate whining too. I kept apologizing for making her stop. She said it was ok but man, I feel like shit having to make people wait for me to stretch it out.
The curve wants me to bend over, stay in a leaned forward position but when you walk, you have to be upright so it gets inflamed and pissed off and then I have to stop and bend over and stretch the back muscles until they chill out and then try to walk again.
Walk. Stretch. Walk. Stretch. Repeat 50 times until you get where and to you are going. It's a bitch and I feel embarrassed when I have to do this.
I just want my life back.
I just want it back. If I could have any wish, it would be to have a strong, healthy back. Fuck money. Fuck love. I just want a strong body.
This ain't no pity party tonight so don't think of this post like that. It's just me bitching because I hurt and I am angry that I hurt and the hurt doesn't go away and it just gets more and more hurty everyday that passes.

The boys slept over Mikey's again tonight.
2 nights in a row of silence. It feels like an eternity.
I really do miss the noise.
I am going to be one of those moms who go through empty nest syndrome when they grow up and leave. It's going to be awful...lol
Well, I guess that's all for now.
Later days.