July 14, 2004

Sometimes, what I want to say

I don't say because there are people out there who think they are better parents than me and know what's best for my own kids than me.
Sometimes, my kids and I talk openly and frankly and laugh and make jokes and you would crack up too if you could be privy to any of these fun times but you can't because some people are asswipes who think they can raise my kids better.
I get emails telling me how wrong it is to let my 11 and almost 13 year old watch horror flicks while I'm in the room watching it with them. Sometimes I get emails telling me I let them stay up too late.
Sometimes I tell people to go fuck themselves.
Only sometimes.
I don't think I'm traumatizing my kids and I don't think I'm over-protecting them either.
I think they know more than kids their age but that's because I want them to have knowledge and not be afraid of the world around them and to be able to protect themselves in a battle of wits or how to save their own lives.
I allow free speech and for many parents, that is a hard thing to do.
I don't stifle their little voices which when allowed to express freely, are loud and booming and intelligent and witty and sarcastic and funny and thought provoking.
I allow them to be and treat them as the individuals they are.
But people have a problem with that.
It's really a shame too because Mark was hysterically funny last night and had Heidi and I in tears laughing until we couldn't breathe.
And yes, the subject matter was a bit rough and I'm sure my parents would have a heart attack hearing their cute little 13 year old grandson make up a new band name and a whole song using a referral hit from my stats.
It was classic and I so wanted to audblog it but I refrained and restrained and felt like a doormat for caving in to people who would have me raise my kids up in a church listening to fairy-tales and condemning me for being a single mother with the f-word on the tip of her tongue all the time.
I felt ashamed of myself this morning for not posting what I wanted to. For being fearful of hate mails and individuals with agendas.
I felt silenced this morning and it was only me who silenced it but deep down I knew that there are people who just sit and watch this blog and can't wait for me to say something that is un-motherly, un-american and not up to their parental standards.
I've met them before. I've had the hate mails and the trash talk on other blogs about my parenting skills.
Sometimes I tell them to go fuck themselves and what I really want to tell them is this, go fuck yourself. Get your nose out of my parenting and shove it up into your own.

What I want to say is that my kids get good grades and treat people as they want to be treated and they are helpful and kind and compassionate and loving and intelligent and funny and witty and sarcastic and terrific.
Yes. They are terrific. I love them to pieces and I'm thankful they can say to me whatever they want and they aren't afraid to be themselves and they don't hold back and they have opinions which differ from mine but they aren't afraid to say them.
I wish I was more open and free like them but I have learned my lesson with some people who think they are better than everyone else and I will keep the fun that we had last night all to myself.
Some of you don't deserve that much fun anyway.