August 02, 2004

It's going to rain all day.

I think I may go insane.
I am starting to need a break from the noise and needs of everyone who lives here.
It's not that I hate them or am mad at any of them, but it just seems that the minute I sit down to read a few blogs or post to my own, someone needs something.
A bug may be in the bathroom, the house is too dark to fall asleep, break up fights, spell words correctly, be something to someone right at that moment.
I love my family, I love each person who lives here but I think this is the 'thing' that most moms complain about and start feeling resentful over.
It's the non-ability to be alone for any length of time.
When I take a shower, I can count on someone coming in there and taking a leak, a crap, washing their hands or just asking a million questions.
If I go outside to sit for a few, someone follows all the time.
If I sit here, someone needs something.
I have this thing about privacy at the computer.
If someone is on it, no one else can sit anywhere near it and no one should ask the person on the puter any questions at all.
I do really good at this rule.
I don't bug anybody when they are on reading emails or looking at whatever. I just sit somewhere else and watch tv or go lay down in my room. I am a good provider of personal space and quiet time.
But the minute I sit down to read my emails or blog or read blogs or whatever, someone has to ask something, need something, start chatting about something.
People wonder why I am getting so snippy.
It's cuz you all won't leave me the fuck alone for 10 minutes!
I do not need constant stimulation people. I can sit quietly for hours.
I love them. I really do love them but I really need my space, my quiet time. My time to blog and read blogs.
It has nothing to do with me being a bitch, it keeps me from being a bitch.

So there ya have it, the reason I haven't replied to any of your emails or been around to visit you.
I simply haven't had the time and quiet that I need to do it.
I really wish my family would understand that if they give me my time alone, that I am much more willing to to do what ever it is they want me to do.