August 16, 2004

People often say to me,

Kat, why are you such a cynical bitter bitch? Why do you hate people so much?
I'll tell you why.
I have been burned far too many times to give a shit anymore.
And it's so hard, conflicting for me if you will, because when I needed help, you all came through for me and kept me going until things were sorted out and I could do it on my own again. I am so grateful for that help, I still get teary when I think what would have happened had you all not been there for me.
I opened up my home yesterday to a young man, a total stranger to me, who had been kicked out of his home.
I offered my couch, my food, my phone, my help to find a place to live.
Heidi called to ask if I needed anything when she came home from work and I said a newspaper so we could see the full classified section. The one online only prints about 50 out of the full listings of places to rent and I had already gone through those and printed out ones that were #1 affordable, and #2, in semi-decent neighborhoods. I didn't want this nice kid moving to the ghetto.
I made tons of phone calls while he was at work. I gave him lists and numbers when he got here, offered my food, my shower, which he took me up on by the way, talked about a game plan, talked rent prices, talked about how tough this is to go through but here's what I had done to help him out.
He had his 18 year old girlfriend with him and she insisted that they go get something to eat.
Fine, cool. I figured they would go to the store and get sandwich stuff ya know? Try to save money being homeless and all.
As Heidi was walking home from work at 8pm, she saw them and said hello and asked where they were going.
Applebees.
Um. Aren't you homeless? Aren't you with no place to live and should be trying to save every fricking penny you have so that when you find a place by the friday deadline I gave you, you can afford to move in there?
So we sat and waited for the kid who I had not given a key to, to come back.
10pm.
11pm.
12 midnight at which point I put all his stuff outside with a note that read:
This is not how you treat people who were trying to help you. You don't go out to eat and then stay out all night spending money when you are homeless and should be saving it. You should have gone to the store and bought stuff for sandwiches instead of wasting money. I opened my home to you, a complete stranger to me, made phone calls, looked through want ads for an apartment for you and you stayed out all night. I am sorry, but this is not how you treat people. My family and I are tired of waiting and have gone to bed.
1am still not here and at that point, I really said fuck you and went to bed.
I got up at 7am and went outside where I placed his suitcase, his carry on bag and his publix bag with his toiletries in it, the note and the whole classifieds section.
Everything was gone but the classifieds.
He never even took them.
I am usually a good judge a character. I can usually spot an asshole a million miles away.
This one tricked me.
This one had no feelings at all for a stranger who took them in and offered help and shelter and food and hot showers. I wanted nothing from him. I wanted no money, nothing. I wanted to help.
I got burned and feel used and I wonder what time he finally did come back to find the door locked.
This isn't a fucking hotel and it isn't his families home. This was a stranger and he should have had some respect for that kindness.
I questioned whether I did the right thing by setting it all outside and locking the door but I find it completely careless and fancy free that he was out spending money on a big dinner when he was homeless.
Maybe I'm just a bitch but I don't fucking care right at the moment.
To make me wait all night before I could lock up my home was rude and inconsiderate and to waste money when he should have been saving every penny to find a new home by friday just chapped my ass.
I'm sure it will be a very hard lesson for him to learn, having no where to go at whatever time he showed up here in the middle of early morning hours. I'm sure that was a hard thing to face. But you don't treat people like that.
You don't treat them like a hotel when they were trying to help you find a place to go and live and shit.
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fuck you.