My Single Mom Life

One is a lack of closeness to God. Jesus, who had a very close relationship with God, did not understand that reality until he was crucified. But as he suffered the death penalty for sin, he didn't feel God’s presence and he cried out, "My God, my God, why have you abandoned men?" There’s a kind of spiritual death in us as well, when we ask, "Why, God, did you let this happen?"

In most Christians beliefs, they believe he was the son of God. I believe that Jesus was just a man like you and me who was a little misguided, maybe even "crazy". He had a mother and father but chose to believe that he was the son of something unknown up in the sky. He trashed a church during a celebration. He had followers. They captured him when they could and punished him for being a criminal. He was crucified in the style of death penalty they used at the time. Maybe that is the reason that no one answered him when he called out eh? There wasn't anything really up there.

Another is a lack of integrity and a lack of commitment to God’s ideals. In Ephesians 4:18-19, Paul says: "People . . . are against God. They don’t care about right and wrong. . . Their lives are full of impurity and greed." When people exhibit a lackadaisical attitude about worshiping on the Sabbath or speak disrespectfully about people in positions of authority or think cheating is OK because everyone does it, it’s a sure indication of spiritual dead spots in their lives."

Do you know what my ideals are? have you been in my home?
I live by rules that are a good way to treat all human beings not because I fear being punished. I teach my kids not to lie, cheat, steal, talk badly about others etc etc etc. Just because I am an atheist, does not mean I live my life all lackadaisically. Oh hey! Look! Food in the store, I'm an atheist. I guess I'll steal it. Oh hey! Look, my neighbors cute husband, I guess I'll sleep with him.
Please. Give me a break.

Still another is a lack of contentment and hope. Listen to the words of Job, after he had lost his herds, his family, and his health: "Cursed be the day of my birth, and cursed be the night I was conceived . . .Why is life given to those who have no future? . . . I hate my life." When a person always sees a glass as half empty or always points out what’s wrong with the world or quits trying when problems or challenges seem too difficult, you can bet that there’s a spiritual cancer at work in his or her life."

Anyone who knows me, knows the physical problems that plague me and don't even say if I just turned to God, it would all be well. That's bullshit and you know it. It takes medical doctors with years of knowledge to fix medical problems.
I am not un-content in my life even with everything I have that is not perfect. I am a single mother, I have a back problem that causes pain, I have financial problems. Are these things because I have no faith, no hope and no trust in God? No. They are because I was born with some medical problems, I divorced their abusive father and I have been unable to work for a year.
My glass is always full.
I have the best friends anyone could ask for.
I have great kids.
I have a great landman who works with me.
I have great parents.
I am content with the way my life is right now, right this minute. Today is a good day.

Sometimes there is a lack of self-esteem. When people have a low sense of self-worth, because they were never praised when they were young, or they feel people and God could never forgive them for something they’ve done, it’s evidence that something has died or is dying inside them."

My self esteem is really good thank you very much. I was praised much as a child.

Finally, there may be a lack of love and mercy. How many people in Jesus’ day wanted to stone to death the woman who had committed adultery or have nothing to do with Zacchaeus, the hated-tax collector. When there is no room in our hearts to forgive others in the same way we want God and others to forgive us, then it’s a sign that we are slowly dying from a spiritual hardening of the heart."

I have much love to give and I do give it. I forgive those when my heart is ready to forgive them.
I don't really truly hate anyone even though I say I hate my ex-husband. It's his lack of commitment to his children which plagues me. I cannot change him but it upsets me. It's not a lack of love or mercy.
My oldest and I have been doing a lot of talking lately and much to my sons surprise, he discovered that his dad was the only man I ever, really, truly loved. The beatings changed those feelings but I honestly, have never felt another love so strong as what I had with him.

What are the spiritual dead spots in your life?

• Is it the tendency to worry excessively or a tendency to always complain?

I think I have already answered these above. I don't have any.

LIFE

"But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much that even while we were spiritually dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead."

This is one of the many things that disturb me about people who preach. Yes, this sermon was about Rollen in the beginning, but to change the words to fit what they want to say, bothers me to no end. Here we are more than halfway through the sermon and they think I won't be able to grasp the message.

Being scientific, let's take this apart shall we?
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but will have a new lease on life.
How do I know that this was Gods son? Where is your proof? You scientific proof that Jesus, the man, was the son of a ghost basically? Faith that he was is not a good enough answer thank you.
I take the second part of this, he will not perish but have new life to mean, that they will live forever in the house of god when the body dies and live happily on earth until then.
As I was growing up, I went to church, I mentioned this right?
I went and had to sit in the front 3 rows like all the children so that we heard the messages and paid attention.
My parents were and still are heavily involved in the same Church to this day. They knew many parishioners and we all knew each other.
I know many older parishioners who died. I know the cancers they suffered, the diseases that ravaged their bodies and all the while they kept their faith strong and prayed for mercy and healing. None came for some.
I will use my own families experience as an example. Mom, dad I know how you feel but please, don't be angry, just listen ok? You don't have to agree, just listen.
My dad was sick. He had basal cell carcinoma and when he went to have it removed, a doctor made an error and medications were not taken off before the surgery and blood started to pool in his body cavity.
For months and months he lost weight and was very ill. They didn't know why. They did tests and more tests and xrays etc. Finally, one test spotted it and a doctor gave him a new medication that fixed the problem. I do believe there may have even been another surgery in there. I can't really recall, it's been a few years now.
But during all this time, my family prayed and the congregation prayed for a "miracle" to save his life.
It was not a miracle that saved him. It was science. It was a sonogram or xray or ultrasound that spotted the mass and a surgeon who removed it and a scientist who invented a brand new drug to clear up the infection and the doctor who was wise enough and daring enough to try it on my father. It was not a miracle, but science that saved him. My mother says it was god who planted the ideas for the doctors to try the new drug. I say it was knowledge after years and years of study and hands on practice with other sick individuals that makes these doctors and scientists even smarter. Not miracles, not silent whispers, but science and knowledge.

Christ raised from the dead? Yeah. I don't think so. I think people were fanatical and hallucinated after days of not eating or sleeping but constant weeping. I know I see shit when I haven't slept for a few days. try it. Stay awake and barely eat for a few days and you too can have visions. As for the body being gone? Have you heard of grave robbers? There is no miraculous excuse for a human body to disappear. Remember, only the spirit rises to be with God in heaven. You can't have it both ways. If you say the body dies and the spirit rises, then that is how it is. You can't take his body and his spirit after three days. The body was stolen.

First, we are strengthened by God’s presence and the promise of a reunion with Him in heaven."
No, I am not. I get nothing from it at all.

Second, selfishness will give way to godliness. In 2 Corinthians, it says: "Jesus died for everyone so that we who receive his new life will no longer live to please ourselves. Instead, we will live to please Christ."

I do not do things to please myself. I rarely do anything for myself. My kids come first and foremost. The last time I bought myself new underwear was over a year ago. Why would I want to please a dead guy? What is up with that kind of thinking? He's dead. Please a dead guy who is dead. Uh, no. He's dead.

Third, pessimism and self-pity are replaced by an attitude of hopefulness and compassion. Look at Job. After complaining, Job’s attitude changes. He says: "I know that my redeemer lives. . . and after my body has decayed, . . . I will see God." Peter writes: "Because God raised Jesus from the dead, your hope can be placed confidently in God . . . So see to it that you really do love each other."

I have some self pity from time to time, we all do. I have hope and compassion but not because your god says I should. Like I said above, I don't believe he rose from the dead, I don't believe that he is a redeemer. I don't believe that I will see God. My body is not going to decay. That's grody and it takes up to much land. I am going to be cremated and tossed from the highest roller coaster in the world by my kids. They promised.

What qualities, that God offers through the gift of eternal life, do you need in your life right now?

• Is it a greater amount of patience or a deeper sense of inner peace?

Gift of eternal life? Bwahahaha. Oops, sorry about that. This stuff cracks me up sometimes.
My sense of worth is good thank you. I have a great sense of humor and I would have to say that my integrity is very good. I have patience. Boy, do I have patience. I have been waiting for a year to be treated for my back. Patience is my middle name baby. Ohm. Ohm. Yeah, my inner peace is good too.

In conclusion, I live my life the same as you Christians who would condemn me for not believing in God. I live a good, happy life. I live with morals and ethics and treat my fellow man as they want to be treated. I do it out of kindness and love and not because I fear whales or punishment or because I want to live behind some pearly gates. I live this way because it is how I want to be treated.
I don't believe that we need a set of codes to live by. I believe people can and will do the right thing if they choose. It's not Satan that pushes people to do wrong, it is their own desire to do wrong. I desired drugs and alcohol and stole money from my parents to do it. It was not Satan who drove me to do the things I have done in my life, it was me. I made choices, they were choices that I had to make and live through in order to grow and become who I am today.
No God saved me and helped me rise above my drug addiction. It was me. I went to rehab and got myself clean. I went to meetings and kept myself clean and yeah, they prayed at the end of meetings. I didn't because it was not God that pulled me from the depths of my addiction, it was me. I did it. I made myself want a better life, I made myself get clean and stay clean.
Human strength is overlooked. People look outside of themselves to God for strength when it is inside of them. It has always been inside of them but because they fear their own minds and their own strengths, they look to God to make decisions for them and give them courage to rise above and get through tough times.
I have always thought, and please don't take offense, that people who put so much faith in God and pray for strength and courage, must be weak inside. That they do not trust themselves. That it is easier to say that God will see you through then to get up off your ass and do it for yourself.
When I asked for help from the web community, people came and helped me. Perhaps some did it out of christian kindness but I think that people helped because if it was them, they would want someone to help them when they asked.
People ask God for all kinds of things, let me ace this test god, or let my doggie come home god or if you do this for me god, I'll never ask anything from you again and then they ace the test or their dog comes home and they swear to be better people.
You aced the test because you studied. Your dog came home because that is where the food is.
Put a little faith in yourself.