I am Kats insanity.
I am very tired and very cranky.
I have more going on than I can or want to handle.
I am just feeling very overwhelmed with everything and everyones needs, wants and complaints.
I am doing the very best I can under the circumstances and it is very hard for me to understand things that people do, say, feel when I have been under far more pressure than anyone can even imagine.
I guess you could say that I have lost my ability to sympathize at this point.
My back is probably the worst that I have felt it in several months.
My mom sent me some patches and I suppose under normal circumstances, they would work but right now, I can't feel that they are doing anything at all.
I have over done things way more than I should have and I know I shouldn't over do things but as any mom can attest to, if you don't do it, who the fuck will?
You can ask until you are blue in the face, scream, yell, beg, plead, but it still doesn't get done and then people wonder why mommy is shooting daggers with her eyes.
I am not making any excuses for my bitching at all.
I am a bitch to begin with and most people know this. I just can't handle certain things at certain times and I snap like the last straw that hit the camels back.
I am not perfect. Far from it but I need people to work with me, get on the same train, think logically, not irrationally.
I don't talk to hear myself talk. I speak when I feel the need. I do not talk just for the sake of talking which I suppose is a major reason I was never a girly girl. I can't sit and gossip or talk non-sensibly for any length of time.
I am quiet and observant and speak when the mood or topic is called for.
One thing I hate more than anything in the world is when someone speaks to me as soon as I wake up or as soon as I come home from wherever.
I need that first 10 minutes of silence.
It's like the golden rule of household harmony.
If you think you might forget to tell me something, write it down and hand me the note.
So in closing of this ramble of thoughts, blogging life will resume when I remove the stick from my own ass.
Comments
hey liar you have too sat around and gossipped for hours it took a couple of drinks but I do recall wearing a couple of cordless phone batteries dead even though we lived ohh 70 yards from each other.LOL
miss those times with you lots keep that chin up I'm still here.
Posted by: shell | July 26, 2004 8:10 PM
Hey there lady hope all is better soon! I understand how you feel !!XOXOX
Posted by: Myingan/Vicki | July 26, 2004 8:15 PM
Shell, it took several drinks to get me like that and I haven't drank in forever. I just don't feel the need to talk if I have nothing to say these days.
Posted by: kat | July 26, 2004 8:48 PM
Thank you.
Posted by: kat | July 26, 2004 8:49 PM
It's ok to have a bitchy day. I have them to...and I freely admit to flipping out over the smallest crap for no reason, on my bitchy days. I hope that your back will be better tomorrow. HUGS!
Posted by: Lani | July 26, 2004 9:45 PM
Oh, I can totally relate...at least on the mom and needing silence part. I hope everyone gives you a bit of help, peace, and quiet, and then hopefully you will feel better mentally if not physically.
Posted by: kim | July 26, 2004 10:12 PM
*HUGS*
Posted by: Kirsi | July 27, 2004 12:09 AM
You are doing so well, considering all you deal with, day in and day out. You're allowed to be frustrated, angry, all the emotions you're having. *HUGS* Keeping you in my thoughts... Love ya!!
Posted by: Karen | July 27, 2004 11:40 AM
You are a strong woman. You may not realize it, but you are. "Normals" do not understand how it is to be in such pain every single day. It wears you down emotionally and physically. And it is hard to sympathize with anyone who has a minor ache...at least it is for me. Hang in there. There are a lot of us out there, and we can understand what you are going through. I keep thinking that one day it has to get better. It just has to. YOu are always in my thoughts.
Posted by: Tam | July 28, 2004 4:54 PM
Oh, I too can't stand to have anyone bother me when I first get up. The man and kids know by now to leave me alone for abit until I get my bearings thankfully.
Posted by: Tam | July 28, 2004 4:55 PM
No, the normals don't understand at all. I want to feel bad for them but I'm all out of sympathy for people who don't live in constant pain.
Posted by: kat | July 28, 2004 6:12 PM