My bonus story I wanted to tell you about.
I'm still a member at Okcupid and I don't surf it much anymore but I was checking my shit over there one night and hey, look, you have an email from some guy!
Woo hoo!
So I go into my okcupid email and it's from Kenny666.
Dude is so not my type just looking at the pictures of his souped up Ford Taurus and his combination mohawk/mullet.
May I present to you his first opening paragraph.
The very first thing you read when you open his profile up.
The bonus is the last sentence.
*UPDATED TO INCLUDE PICTURES*
I like to have fun. I like to work on cars, ride my motorcycle, drink Bud Light and listen to heavy metal. I am a shorts-and-tank top guy who does not give a crap. I am hard-working and a bit possessive. I put my car above most people which is, uh, just the way I am. I live in South Florida and drive a tow-truck 24 hours a day. I am not interested in organized religion, needy moms, chain smokers, drug users and people who have a thing for cats. I have a few morals but I do not let them spoil the fun. I live by my own rules and I know right from wrong. I don't have too much of a conscience so I will pretty much do or say anything that comes to mind. I eat crotch as a bonus.
Click for larger on all of them.
I wish I had made this up.
It just screams Hallmarks new line of cards that help you pick up chicks.
Comments
Oh my fucking deity. I'm sure he's the apple of his mother's eye, too.
Why do images of Ned Beatty and strains of Dueling Banjos suddenly enter my mind?
*shudder*
-G
Posted by: Garrison Steelle | November 6, 2004 11:09 PM
OMG! Thanks for the laugh!
Posted by: Kate | November 6, 2004 11:25 PM
Wow, I expected better from a guy with a nym like Kenny666. He's a real winner, Kat, don't let that one get away! LOL!
Posted by: kim | November 7, 2004 12:32 AM
Oh, and I can understand putting your car above most people, but....a TAURUS? Come on, dude, grow a set already!
Posted by: kim | November 7, 2004 12:46 AM
Priceless!
Posted by: Terry | November 7, 2004 2:00 AM
Indeed.....priceless...
Posted by: Nettie | November 7, 2004 7:55 AM
I uploaded his pics so you all don't just think I'm being mean for no reason. :)
Posted by: kat | November 7, 2004 8:27 AM
I know G. That's like the first thing I thought too.
Posted by: kat | November 7, 2004 8:34 AM
That nasty goatee has me a little nervous about the "crotch eating". Please excuse me while I go vomit.
Posted by: Allison | November 7, 2004 9:10 AM
I get Heidi cracking up all the time with the word bonus now. Like the other dayu on the bus, teh little geek boy said bonus and I just looked at her and said bonus and she started laughing with tears welling up in her eyes...lol
Posted by: kat | November 7, 2004 9:20 AM
LMFAO!!! This guy doesn't pull any punches! I love it!! Oh, and that last line... Woohoo! Too funny!!!!!
So, you gonna write him or what?! ;-)
*HUGS*
Posted by: Karen | November 7, 2004 9:26 AM
His picture has me panting. Hot guy, hot car, hot bike! Heh heh.
Posted by: Terry | November 7, 2004 9:33 AM
LOL, that's awesome! Gotta love people like that, gives us all something to roll our eyes at ;)
Posted by: groovy mom | November 7, 2004 9:40 AM
Yeah, he's quite the catch eh?
Posted by: kat | November 7, 2004 9:44 AM
Be still my beating heart.
Posted by: Jen | November 7, 2004 11:40 AM
What? The whole bonus isn't just turning you into a quivering pile of mush over this man? My gawd! What is wrong with ya 'all???....lmao
Posted by: kat | November 7, 2004 2:01 PM
Hey...at least I would never have to worry about him drinking all of my beer! If he drinks Bud Lite all the time, he probably would NOT like my homebrew or microbrewed beer that I buy and drink.
What a prince!
Posted by: Christine | November 7, 2004 7:54 PM
Yeah, he's a bud light man. Your home brews would be safe...lol
Posted by: kat | November 7, 2004 8:12 PM
And you let him get away!?
Posted by: Holly | November 7, 2004 8:27 PM
Yeah. I'm just not worthy of a hunk hunka man like that. ;)
Posted by: kat | November 7, 2004 8:29 PM
bwahahaha Oddly enough, the mohawk/mullet combo was a topic of discussion in our house last night. To see it live, that's just too much.
Posted by: Jennifer | November 8, 2004 3:42 PM
Yeah, it's quite the image isn't it? lol
Posted by: kat | November 8, 2004 5:03 PM
OMG. I EAT CROTCH ...... I AM SO GROOSED OUT. NO WONDER THIS DILDO IS SINGLE.
Posted by: WOWEDOUT | November 9, 2004 1:08 AM
Hahahah! I was grossed out too. It's funny as hell though. I mean, this guys profile should have women running. Wife beater t's, the mo hawk/mullet combo, the beer drinking, the tow truck driving, a Taurus that is more important than anything in his life and his propensity for knowing just what to say to get a girl into bed ;)
Posted by: kat | November 9, 2004 7:14 AM
Oh my gawd!!! LOL How in the world did I miss this post? I am gonna use my sickness as an excuse since I wasn't bloggin or on the puter to much this weekend.........Anyway GROSS! lol Funny okay but eeeeewwww, I wouldn't let him anywhere near moi crotch, lol
Posted by: Leslie | November 9, 2004 5:21 PM
Yeah, pretty funny huh? And gross...lmao
Posted by: kat | November 9, 2004 5:44 PM