The Corleones put a horse head in your bed,
the Mexicans behind me put a rotting fish in my shed.
Yup, they did. Want a picture? I'll get one for ya as soon as it gets a little brighter out there.
It seems the war with the Mexicans behind me has escalated.
They continue to leave the yapping mother fucker outside barking at all hours of the day and night and I continue to place calls and the police continue to come over right in time to hear nothing cuz the owners see the cop car coming.
Now, I have a huge rotting fish in my shed.
I thought about ways it could have gotten there. Some animal swiped a fish from someones fishing bucket and put it there for safe keeping (yeah right), one of the herons that I always see in my yard brought it and left it there (yeah right), or the assholes behind me threw the fish over their fence and into the shed.
Totally doable.
It's not a stockade fence, it's just a waist high wire fence and my shed is about 5 feet from their fence if that.
There's nothing in the shed of any value. Cardboard boxes full of peanuts from when ex-roommate was moving back and she has yet to take care of them, old rusty furniture from way back previous tenants, paint cans, crap like that.
Trying to stink up my house?
The sheds not attached you dumb fucks and in case you didn't notice, I nailed my window shut on the outside, duct taped a piece of cardboard on the inside and nailed a blanket over the whole thing.
My room is pitch black and now on cold nights it stays slightly warmer than it did before I did all that.
The shed ain't mine either.
It's the landmans.
He's a sheriff.
Dumb fucks.
I may just leave the fish there until he comes to pick up rent money tomorrow afternoon. Tell him what's been going on with the dogs and cops and he could easily verify it all and then he could go scare the crap outta them. He did it before to some other neighbors we had who were letting their dog take a crap on the front lawn and he caught them. Scared the shit out of them he did. Uniform, gun, tazer, 6 ft 3.
Or, I could go stab the fish with a giant carving fork and wing it back over the fence and splat it on the side of the house.
What do you think?
Comments
I like the stabbing it and throwing the fish back over, but the other is probably the more efficient way to handle it :)
Posted by: groovy mom | January 6, 2005 8:10 AM
I say you wait until tomorrow.. if more fish arrive, start flingin' 'em back!
Posted by: Kate | January 6, 2005 8:24 AM
Let the landlord handle this one. You'll be safer.
Posted by: mikie | January 6, 2005 9:40 AM
LOL! That would be really great to see just for the hell of it. ;-)
You know, the cops should really come to YOUR house first where the neighbors wouldn't see them come, so they could witness and hear what a nuissance the dog is.
Posted by: Karen | January 6, 2005 10:16 AM
I have nothing to add that hasn't already been said, but good luck, I go w/letting the landlord/sheriff scare the heck out of them!
Posted by: Vhmprincess | January 6, 2005 10:36 AM
As much fun as leaving it with the knife would be, I'd let the landlord deal with it.
Posted by: Pixie | January 6, 2005 11:54 AM
What everyone else pretty much said...although it would be fun to fling 'em back (if it were me I'd be sorely tempted!)...you are better off letting the landlord deal with this.
You have my sympathy...I know all too well what it is like to live near losers!
Posted by: Christine | January 6, 2005 11:59 AM
I'd be tossing the fish right the hell back over the fence!
Posted by: Kelly | January 6, 2005 12:23 PM
I called teh cops and a suspicious report has been filed. Anymore fish, they'll come out and talk to them.
Posted by: kat | January 6, 2005 4:22 PM
Since you already called the cops, this comment is pointless, but as much as flinging the fish would feel so much better, having dealt with people like this myself, going with the cops is a much better idea.
I feel your pain. Our neighbors have chickens. The stupid rooster crows 24 hours a day. Somedays I stand in the yard and yell "anyone want to have chicken for dinner tonight" they still don't get the hint.
Posted by: Marsha | January 6, 2005 4:34 PM
I've called quite a few times now but teh cops have to hear them barking in order for it to be called excessive noise. Oh well. But I do believe it's them cuz how the hell else could huge fish like that get in my yard?
Posted by: kat | January 6, 2005 5:59 PM