Proselytizers will be eaten on first knock.
It must be warm out today because they came pounding on my door like my house was on fire.
I jumped from my slumber on my couch and yelled "fucking christ!"
My windows are open.
I fling the door open and the church lady says "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said."
"I said, fucking christ! Because you pounded on my door and I was SLEEP-ING! and I just knew it was you people.
"Oh."
"You here about god right? You hear to tell me he'll make my life better right? You here to spread the happy joyous news right?!"
"Well, yes ma'am."
"Well, I have no fucking interest in that shit now get the fuck out of my yard!"
SLAM went the door.
I hate those people with a passion.
I need a big sign on my front door that says the title of this post. Or sacrificed. Or carved up and fed to the dogs behind me. Or BBQ-ed.
I hate them. Hate them. Hate them.
I was sleeping dammit.
Comments
I say go for it and post a sign! Maybe you'll get some peace that way!
Posted by: Kelly | February 8, 2005 11:59 AM
Bravo!!! I would have paid to see that!! LOL
Posted by: Pixie | February 8, 2005 12:02 PM
I would say to hang a nice ceramic mask of satan on your front door, but that would probably just spark them to want to save you even more.
I'm so glad that we don't have people like that around here, or if we do, they come when I'm not at work.
Posted by: sporty | February 8, 2005 12:46 PM
Sporty, they just don't know you live there yet. Muwhahahahaahaha!
Posted by: kat | February 8, 2005 1:52 PM
I've said way worse to them Pixie and they just don't get it. They keep coming back. It's like their mission to save me I think.
Posted by: kat | February 8, 2005 1:54 PM
I might. Gotta make a good one though that will thouroughly warn them that knocking could be hazrdous to their health.
Posted by: kat | February 8, 2005 1:55 PM
Here we have stickers that read; "Our God allows us to sleep in". :-)
Posted by: JustAgirl | February 8, 2005 3:36 PM
Hahah! I need some of those.
Posted by: kat | February 8, 2005 4:20 PM
Give 'em hell, Kat(or purgatory, or whatever)! Sorry you got woke up though. That sucks. Why are there so many down there? They hit you up constantly! I've only been approached at home 3 times in 15 years, and I live in GA for Chrissakes(hehe). What gives?
Posted by: josh | February 8, 2005 9:42 PM
I live, no shit, within a 10 minute walk in all directions, in the middle of several churches. A Mennonite, a Christian, a catholic and the Jehovah's. They are on a mission to save my soul. Funny enough though, the Jehovah's are the only ones who do door to door begging for souls. I swear, I may physically injure the next one that shows up.
Posted by: kat | February 8, 2005 9:47 PM
HAHAHAHA! How could you even call that a smiley? I propose we call that one an "angrey." That's f-ing hilarious, Kat! RAWK!
Posted by: josh | February 8, 2005 9:53 PM
It is by far my faveorite smiley. I can only use it though on easter (sick) and when I'm ranting about religion....lmao
Posted by: kat | February 8, 2005 9:56 PM
Kat, Not sure if this will help you rid yourself of these hucksters, but it's worth a try.
NO TRESPASSING!
Posted by: hennepin | February 9, 2005 12:17 AM