Today has just been more of the same.
I hate to be a whiner and I know you hate it too so I just whined all by my lonesome most of the day.
I went to my sisters house this morning to wait on verizon cuz they are doing to her what they did to me back in February. Shitty service.
So I went up there to wait on them to come fix it cuz she had to work and they never showed so the boys and I came back home where I went to my room and wallowed in anguish until I just simply could stand no more and I called the pharmacy and begged them to refill my meds today instead of the 28th.
4 days of feeling like I was in a steel vice grip was more than I could stand and I was becoming a really horrible person to be around.
So we just got back from wal*greens and I took my pills and now I just have to wait for them to kick in and hopefully (keeping my fingers crossed) I will be able to sleep tonight because if I have another night like last night, I don't know what I will do.
I was ready to just cut my legs off at the hips and have it over with.
It's amazing the thoughts that go through your head when in severe pain.
I was homicidal/suicidal/stark raving lunatic mad by 5am.
I couldn't stand it.
I know there are people who doubt all of this and have plenty to say on the subject matter whenever given any opportunity to do so and ya know what? I don't fucking care.
I am living in a horrible nightmare of not being able to get the surgery I need and the years just keep passing by with no end to this in sight.
And because this is in internet, you can only see what I say and have to accept it or not and I can't do anything about what you believe.
I can't force you to trust it, I can't invite you over for tea and xrays and scans. I can't do anymore than I am already doing which is to keep going and hope that somewhere down the line, someone says they will help me.
So say what you want when you want but this is my space to write and your negativity isn't allowed here.
I have enough of my own.
Later days.
Comments
Girl, I sure hope your pills kick in tonight for you! I am sorry you have to go through this!
As for the OTHERS, who don't believe you, Who cares what they think, they aren't worth your time and emotions to care!
Just take care of yourself, and get some rest!
Posted by: Cat | June 24, 2005 8:50 PM
Thanks Cat. I just get some really horrible emails from time to time when I post about my health and it gets very tiring and I tend to snap...lol
They are kicking in now and I feel sooo much better right now. Sleep should be easy. :)
Posted by: kat | June 24, 2005 9:10 PM
Comment deleted by site owner.
Blah blah blah, go fuck yourself. Put up or shut up.
We all know you haven't done shit you fucking moron.
Believe me, if anything has been done or said to anyone, I would so know about it as I have weekly contact with my caseworkers so go blow someone.
And please, by all means, keep posting your comments. I will just keep deleting them.
You may think it bothers me but you are so wrong, it amuses the crap outta me that your life is so fucking pathetic that this is how you get your kicks.
Who's the bigger loser here?
Anyone can clearly see it's you, the one who's life is so shitty that this is how they find fun and joy in life...lmao
Fucking douche bag loser!
Posted by: kat | June 24, 2005 10:01 PM