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I'm going to attempt to write something every single day no matter how I'm feeling. I think it may help in the long run to keep my mind moving and busy anyway.
Dunno, but whatever.
Today was more of the same.
My sister called me this morning after I went back to bed after the boys went to school.
I made the mistake of not bringing the phone with me.
It may be a small house but getting up out of bed and getting to the phone before the 4th ring and the answering machine turns on, is quite a task.
I'll remember to take it with me from now on.
I'm just getting so stiff. I do my pt exercises everyday as I'm supposed to but my back stiffens up regardless when I lay down for any amount of time. Getting up out of bed in a hurry and even not in a hurry, is interesting.
I am just so stiff, it's robotic.
Maybe it's a good sign. The stiffness means the fusion is taking. I hope so.
I'm sleeping somewhat better although my dreams are getting weirder.
Lots of dreams about dying and not just me dying, like everyone I know dying. In odd ways too. Shootings, stabbings, heat attacks, drownings. I wake up everyday thinking what the fucking hell was that shit?
I folded some laundry today and washed a few dishes. I'm trying to stay busy and do more things. I'm trying to not let this funk take a full hold of me. I've suffered depression before and I don't want to go all the way back there.
I'm not really in the mood to talk on the phone for any length of time.
I just don't feel up to it. I'm slacking on answering emails, I apologize. I am really going to try and do them everyday even if it takes me all day.
The boys are doing good, being good helpers and doing good at school.
They seem to be back in the swing of wanting to help again.
I think the stress of all this was getting to them too and they blew up and screwed off. Heck, if I could screw off I would too..lol
I guess that's it for now.
Later days.
