My Single Mom Life

I need to go open a bank account, something I haven't had in 5 years. The list of identification banks ask for these days is fucking absurd people!
Birth certificate, drivers license/id, ss card, credit card(s), lease or rental agreement, bills proving your residency, 5 drops of your blood, 3 drops for each of your children, a hair and urine sample.
Ok, so those last few aren't really true but they might as well be.

So I go gathering all my shit up and wouldn't ya know it?
I can't find my damn birth certificate.
Now, let me back up a few paces.
I need the bc because my Florida ID expired on my birthday, (3/01/) and I was too busy recuperating to go get another one and honestly, I just plain fucking forgot.
I go to cash a check and I get the; "Ma'am, your id has expired" line.
Yes, um, so it did. You know me anyway, just cash it please. I couldn't get a new one. I was laying in bed writhing in agony the week of my birthday.
Pwwease.

I need the birth certificate to get a new id which I need to get a bank account which requires and ID plus the birth certificate.
Following me? Goood.

So, I knew where it was before my hospital stay. I had put all my super dee duper important papers in one folder.
Yes I did. I was thinking. On the ball.
I said to myself, "self, you are gonna be doped to the gills when you get home. You need to put all these documents in one folder so you will know where they are."
Now, I was already doped to the gills before surgery so my thinking, as clear as I thought it was, wasn't exactly crystal.

Pre surgery, I had a red folder with the letters HW on it. Don't ask me what the HW stands for, I don't remember (doped, gills).
I had all of these super important papers in it.
Now, in my ultra doped wisdom, I had done some reorganizing of folders.
I don't remember this clearly but it's obvious I did it.

So I'm searching like a maniac for the red folder with the HW on it all fucking morning so I can go to the DMV and get a new ID card and then go to the bank to get a new bank account.
I can't fucking find it!!
Nowhere! I searched every drawers, file cabinet, cupboard, table, desk, chair. Everywhere.
Then I searched a new folder marked medical, (the one I obviously reorganized everything into before surgery) and low and behold, there is the birth certificate!
Yay!
Hallelujah and all that jazz.

So now I have the bc and the old ID and all the other important papers I have to take with me today in my purse.
Let's just hope I remember to put everything back in the folder (which is yellow by the way) when I get back home.

Later days.