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« May 2006 | Main | July 2006 »
I am having trouble sleeping again.
Here it is 1:30 am and I am once again, wide awake.
I think it's because my days are just run on. Same old, same old, day after day after day.
Nothing changes, nothing happens.
Wake up, watch news, eat breakfast, do dishes, laundry, house cleaning, eat lunch, play on line, make dinner, play online, try to sleep.
Every. Damned. Day.
Somethings gotta give and soon.
And it was good but weird.
I had the most bizarre dreams all night.
I was in a house with my niece Susan and these huge birds were killing all kinds of small animals and dropping them on the little roof right outside our window.
She kept saying the names of the animals, not knowing they were dead ya know what I mean? She's only two and so she was like, kitty, ducky, raccoon, doggie etc.
It was weird. I kept telling her to stop saying the names because these birds were huge and vicious and had teeth and the little animals were all mangled and bloody.
I woke up in a panic around 9 and had to come out and take a breath and get a drink.
I was still so tired from the lack of sleep over the last 4 days, that I went back to bed again to get just a little more sleep and woke up again just now.
I hate weird dreams like that.
I really hope that the insomnia stays away now for awhile.
I really felt myself slipping down.
Later days.
I am so god dammed fucking tired and I can't fucking sleep! I'm going insane!!!!!
I am crashing down hard.
See y'all when the dead wake.
Later days.
Too much shit in my head, too much going on, too many thoughts about stupid stuff.
I'm exhausted too. It's not like I'm not tired, I feel like I could sleep for a month.
But I get in there and just lay there staring at the blackness of my room and can't fall asleep at all.
I've tried sleeping pills and they just aren't working.
I'm having bizarre thoughts about all kinds of things.
Ugh. I just need to sleep sometime soon.
I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Can't sleep. Everything will eat me.
Mark may have what I just had.
This sucks.
I am doing better, not 100% yet but much better than I was.
I had some antibiotics left from when I came home from the hospital and I took some of those and am feeling better now.
My stomach is still twisting in knots but at least the puking and shitting has stopped.
Not much else to report lately.
Just going day to day, getting by ya know?
Just wanted to check in and let you all know I am alive and hanging on.
Later days.
I have a bacterial infection in my stomach. Yay for me.
I have been in my bed and the bathroom since Monday.
Puke and shit. Ah, the joys of bacterial infections.
This morning though was the absolute last straw for me though. I couldn't even walk straight when I got out of bed. I was completely dehydrated no matter how much liquids I took in.
Why? Because I was puking and shitting it all out that's why.
So this morning by way of ambulance, I traveled to the hospital where I was poked, prodded and blood drained, sonogrammed for gallbladder issues and other such stomach ailments.
The conclusion is a bacterial infection in my stomach and intestines.
Don't ask me how it got there, I haven't got the slightest clue.
No foods out of the ordinary or anything.
But onto the title.
Medicare part D and you.
Let me just tell you that if Medicare can find a way to fuck someone over on a daily basis, they will find it.
I was given two scripts at the hospital.
One for an antibiotic and the other for a pain med to help me while my stomach does back flips and quadruple handstands with a twist over a pummel horse.
I went to the pharmacy and guess what?
Medicare will not pay for the antibiotic. Not even the generic.
But, they will pay for the narcotic.
At least I won't be in pain as I lay dying in my bed this weekend.
Tell me how fucked up that is.
That's completely, utterly, fucked up beyond belief.
Narcotics, yes, antibiotics to stop the infection from eating you alive, fucking hell no!
I'm off to bed again.
Blah. Rotten fuckers.
Stop puking.
Get a new id.
Stop puking.
Do dishes.
Stop puking.
Sleep.
Stop puking.
Clean up the house.
Stop puking.
Do laundry.
Stop puking.
You can only guess how much is actually going to get done around here today.
Later days.
I am heading out in a bit to watch my friend Jimmy get his first tat and then we're gonna go hang out with some more friends for the night down in Venice I believe.
The kids are off being busy with their friends today and tonight so why not go do something myself?
I have no idea what tat he is getting but knowing him, it will either be really serious or really stupidly funny.
Later days.
Today is June 16th, I am now 4 months post op.
It feels like it's been a whole lot longer than that doesn't it?
In March, I posted all the things I couldn't do.
I still can't get socks on, but I can now put on my panties and shorts or pants without an aid, I can feed the cats, I can get stuff off the floor without the grabber, I can get my blankets if they fall, I can do most personal hygiene things without a problem now.
I still can't lay on the couch. Oh well.
I've come a long way since then.
I can do the laundry, the dishes, I can cook but still can't lift heavy pots. I tried vacuuming, it was ok, hurt a bit afterwards so I won't push it and do it all the time. The boys are still helping with the major stuff.
Today, Sebastian and I went shopping and he helped pick up all the low shelf stuff and the heavy stuff and then when we got home, Mikey had slept over so all 3 of the boys unloaded the cab of groceries and the bags one at a time and placed everything on the counter so I could reach it. Mikey and Mark had also cleaned up the house while I was gone including vacuuming the rugs.
Such good kids.
It's kind of overwhelming sometimes. It's only been 4 months.
It will be another 8 months before I am cleared for most major activities that I enjoy doing. I hope it flies by. I need it to fly by.
I spent 5 years waiting for this surgery and living my life inside these walls and now another 8 months before I can fully have my life back just seems like such a long time to wait. And then I think, what if there are things I'm never allowed to do again?
What if I go to do something because I get the all clear and it's something the surgeon would have never in a million years expected anyone to want to do.
Like what you're thinking. I don't know, I'll know it when I want to go do it...lol
There's something I want to do now, I want to go to a firing range and get a gun and a permit, but what if the trigger weight is too much for my back and shoulders? I have to ask. I think I'll ask in email and not over the phone just in case it's a resounding NO.
I just don't know about some stuff. Like if vacuuming is a task, will firing a gun be? I'm sure it will, and I'm sure he'll have something to say about it.
Ok, I can't think of anything else to say about my 4 month anniversary of sorts so I'll just go goof off some more online.
Every month of my anni, I get this burst of insomnia and can't get to sleep to save my life.
I have so much I want to do, so much life to go live and it sort of depresses me that I still have so much time to wait.
Later days.
I have to go grocery shopping and I don't wanna.
I just don't want to do it.
I usually like it but today, my brain and body says no.
*sigh*
Mikey slept over last night, they played games, watched Hostel. Mikey had never seen it but was like oohing and ahhing. He loves that kind of stuff.
I gotta go get a new id still. I didn't get to do it that one day even after all the trouble I went through to find my birth certificate and everything.
I need to do it.
Ok, I have to go shop. No choice. Must go.
Later days.
As the weather here turns to the rainy season, I am discovering that the rods are an all new issue.
They get freezing cold inside of me.
Brrr. Chilled to the bone baby.
Later days.
I went out this morning and paid the water bill and the electric bill and then I come home and the kitchen lights are blown out. No extra light bulbs in the house.
I gotta go to the store anyway, cat litter is sorely needed.
But at least I got two bills down. Just have the phone to do next.
But right now, I need lunch and maybe to lay down for a bit.
When it rains or ooohh, a tropical storm out there, everybody is on the road driving like idiots to go buy food and water.
We almost got hit a few times.
Hello? People? Slow the fuck down and just drive carefully. All that food and water you want to buy isn't going to do you any good if you're dead.
Later days.
It's broke I tell ya!
How do I know? Because just 1 day ago, I was an adorable rodent and now I'm a lowly insect. It's not possible.
So, to prove how busted the thing is, I'm gonna mess with it and go link whoring.
Ready?
Best celeb gossip blog.
Big pink cookies ftw!
The best kind of southern belle is a devilish one.
Faster than you.
Five dollar shakes?! get out!
Like Florida Politics?
Giggle, giggle.
Gratuitis sex, I mean sax.
It's hip to like socks.
Just a girl.
Almost makes me want to try for a girl. I said almost.
Kate has her spot.
It's kinky.
Did someone say Kiss?
She's a mainiac, maniac I swear.
She's been positively blogging for 5 years.
Its' not about you at all.
Pink is the new blog yo.
This poor pixie needs a crash helmet.
She's a red headed bitch!
She definitely has some issues.
All the shades of blue.
Rebel with a cause.
Half nekkid with a tiny dog.
Our very own music star on the rise.
No sticks on fire today, it's raining.
Movie critic.
How do you jack up the TTLB? Get a big name blogger on your list.
Her spinal surgeon did a kick ass job.
So that's my list for now. I'm gonna give it a few hours and then fuck with it some more.
The TTLB system is fux0red.
Because it misses it's mother ship! Bwahahahaha
Ok here's a few pics. They are HUGE if you make them bigger so consider that your warning.
Storm Troopers on the roof as you enter.
The boys posing because Aunty Jo said mom wants one nice pic dammit.
The real, 1977 actor who played Boba Fett, Jeremy Bulloch, Temuera Morrison, who played Jango Fett, some producer guy, and Warwick Davis who played Wickett the Ewok. Temuera was teaching them the warrior dance of power. This "dance" can be seen in one of my all time fave movies, Once Were Warriors. George Lucas called in during the Q&A and said that once he saw that movie, he knew that Temuera was the only actor to play the role of Jango Fett. It is a powerful movie. I highly suggest you all to rent it. I'd tell you to buy it but some of you may truly hate it because of how violent it is. But is has a great theme of struggle and abuse and victory over your abuser.
The boys had an amazing time. To see the real Boba Fett was like a dream come true for Mark. He has like every action figure except the silver anniversary one and a helmet and sis got him this awesome t-shirt with Boba on it yesterday too.
She also got Sebastian a Yoda t-shirt which is really funny. You know how Yoda talks backwards? Well it's Yoda sticking his finger out and it says; "My finger, pull." Hahahaha! Too funny and dead on for Sebastian's personality.
I'll post more later on. She took quite a few and even a few short movies.
Oh, the joke above was said by a couple of Storm Troopers at the beginning of the Q&A. They had some other jokes too.
Also, did you know that Warwick Davis was originally going to play a young Boba Fett in the original Star Wars movies? Yup he was but he said he wanted to be a good guy and there you have it, Wickett the Ewok.
Later days.
so I can now tell you where the kids are.
Sis and I planned this ultra sneaky trip for them to go to Disney MGM studios for Star Wars weekends.
Her boss had 3 spare tickets and didn't feel like going again so she gave them to sis to take the boys.
Very cool.
We were so sneaky about it. Told them they were going to sleep over her house to babysit the girls and then run some errands with sis in the morning, maybe go to family day at Sebastian's soccer camp.
She told Mark he had to bring his Boba Fett helmet he got for xmas because her hubby wanted to see it.
They get in the car this morning and start heading north and it took them all the way to Lakeland to figure it out. Hahah!
Why bring his helmet? Because both the actors who played Boba Fett and Jango Fett will be there signing autographs. He can get his helmet signed.
Very cool. They are quite excited this morning.
As for me, I'm going back to bed. I slept badly, didn't get enough sleep which is usual when I spend the night alone in the house.
Every noise has me up checking doors, windows and locks.
Later days.
I certainly wasn't busy.
I slept through the alarm clock this morning so everyone got off late to where they needed to go.
Ooops.
I played around online and took a nap.
I did some dishes.
I once again attempted my table but no luck. I gave up.
I simply don't know where to begin.
It's been a typical boring summer day around here.
Tomorrow the boys have summer school and soccer camp and then off to my sisters for the night and gone all day Saturday.
I can't say where till Saturday morning cuz shhhh, it's a secret. ;)
Oh I got a call from the bone stim guy.
This is so shitty but typical of the way insurance companies work.
I got my bone stim in March and so the insurance should have paid it right away but they knew they were dropping me on June 1st, so they stalled paying it.
Nice huh?
But the stim guy said no worries, I'll get it for free anyway due to a patient program they have.
But doesn't that make you mad?
They stalled paying for it because they knew in March, they would be dropping my coverage in June.
So fucking shitty of them.
Later days.
It was a huge pain in the ass to get my insurance stuff taken care of but it's done. I won't actually be covered till July 1st but at least I'll have it.
Nothing else going on. Bored. Tired.
Later days.
Regal Entertainment Group summer kids movies.
If you have a Regal cinema near you, check out the free summer kids movies that started today.
Mark and I went and saw the Omen after he was done with class this morning.
It was really good.
It stayed very faithful to the original.
I was impressed and I usually hate remakes with a passion.
Go check it out if you enjoy that kind of thing.
Later days!
Hee hee. Once in a century folks, watch your backs today...lol
I'm doing good, doc says I didn't break anything so all is well. I just really pulled the muscles but between the relaxers and the pain meds, I'm much better now.
Not much planned for today but I really want to go see the Omen.
I know it's a remake but how many times in your life do you get to say you went and watched a movie on 06-06-06 about 666, the sign of the beast?
Heh.
Ok, time for me to find something to do so I don't go nut.
Sebastian is off to soccer camp and Mark is at school.
Later days.
Mark started summer classes today and Sebastian starts soccer camp tomorrow and I spentlike the whole day on the phone trying to sort out my drug coverage plans.
It's bullshit the way that system works.
I need a frigging nap now.
Later days.
The boys and I are going to clean today. They will be doing the heavy duty stuff and I'll make an attempt at my table area.
I have to keep myself busy because I'm about ready to go nuts on medicare.
It's total bs that system. No wonder so many seniors are confused about it. It's completely fucked up and stupid.
I'll explain it all later in a private post.
Have a great saturday.
Later days.
Let's start at Walgreens shall we?
I dropped off my new script at 2pm exactly. They said it would be ready in 30 minutes so the boys and I went to Bealls and grabbed some towels they had on sale, a pair of sandals for me so I don't have to struggle with shoes and socks anymore and Mark bought himself a toy. No problems at Bealls. Smooth transaction and they even gave me 15% off because on Fridays, they give discounts to anyone under age 49.
Finally some discounts to young people in this state!
Then we go back to Walgreens where oh fucking god no, the insurance computers are down but before I can even get that much info, I am pushed out of the way by the angry mob of blue hairs you see above.
There was a fucking mob of blue hairs outraged that the insurance computers were down and they wanted their meds now god fucking dammit!!
They were rude, pushy and down right obnoxious.
I am upset I had to pay cash for my script, but at least I had the cash on me and they said tomorrow to call about the computers and if they are back online, I can go get a refund because then they will be able to bill my insurance.
Then we go to Publix. No problems there. Yay.
But then, oh my fucking god, I made the mistake of going to Taco Bell.
*breathe Kat breathe*
This is your warning.
The rest of this post may come off as completely racist but right now, I'm mad as fucking hell and I am waiting on a rep from Taco Hell to call me back.
Sebastian and I walk in, Mark stayed behind with our purchases from Bealls and Publix.
The place is clean. Good sign.
Too good to be fucking true ya know?
The cashier who was mopping the floor at the time, comes to her register and mumbles something to me in Spanish. All I understood was Taco Bell.
I assume she said welcome to Taco Bell but how the fuck do I know?
Then this CHILD about age 8 or 9 gets behind the counter with her.
I start telling her my order. I mean, SHE is the one in the uniform right?
I tell her my order, she does not understand what I'm telling her but the CHILD is the one pushing the buttons on the register.
WTF?????
He says something to her in Spanish, she then tells me $11.37 in half assed English.
I pull out a 10 and 2 ones.
The CHILD enters the dollar amounts into the register and then proceeds to count out my .63 cents change. The CHILD then shows it to her making sure to show her 2 quarters, 1 dime and 3 pennies.
She nods and smiles.
He hands it to her and then she hands it to me.
Then we wait for the food.
Taco Hell has an open kitchen. You can see your food being made.
NONE of the employees were wearing gloves at all.
NONE.
Then some guy hands us the food. Half of what I ordered is missing probably because the kid and his mother didn't enter it right.
I tell the guy what's missing.
He yells in Spanish, at the crew to get the rest of the stuff.
I get the food and leave making sure to take my ticket with me so I can come home and file a complaint on line.
We did not eat any of the food.
How the fuck can we when I clearly saw that none of the employees were wearing gloves.
For all I know, some of them were picking their noses and scratching their fucking balls before I walked in.
I am irate.
Pissed.
Ready to maim.
Yes, it's Taco Hell.
Yes, the food is super fucking cheap, but dear fucking god, why oh fucking why can't they be wearing gloves and why the flying fuck was a child behind the register doing his obvious mothers job?!?!?!
You want to know why most of America is pissed at the immigrants from Mexico?
It's because they don't fucking speak English in jobs where they should speak fucking English!!!
I don't give a fuck what language they talk at home but god dammit, when at your job that has all of it's signs and posters and menus in ENGLISH, and the majority of your customers are English, you need to fucking speak ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!
so I'm learning how to use it so I can teach him how to use it. She got him a Polaroid iZone 300 3.2MP Slim Design Digital Camera
I tested it out on a few things, need to figure out how to adjust the flash levels. It bright whites a lot of stuff.
But I took a picture of my table and oh my god, it's a mess.
I keep saying I need to clean it off but then I look at it and become overwhelmed with it and walk away.
It's become a catch all since surgery and because I haven't been able to actually sit down and make anything, it just keeps collecting more clutter.
I need someone to come do it for me...lol
Like I said previously, I have been in pain for days and my meds were not working. I doubled up, even tripled up, and still, I was trapped in bed in pain.
I emailed my xrays to the doctor but he's in surgery so it might not be until tomorrow to find out if I messed up. But his nurse Cindy, (she rocks) called me a few times today to ask how I'm holding up. I told her where it hurt, level of pain on the pain scale and what meds I had been taking.
She called in something different for me and then is snail mailing me something stronger than what I had been taking along with a new muscle relaxer.
Mark and I went down to pick up the temporary pain meds and as soon as I paid for them, I bought a soda and took 2. I still had to walk through the plaza to go to Publix and pick up Sebastian's birthday cake that I was supposed to pick up this morning.
We picked up the cake and called a cab to come home and now I feel so much better.
I actually feel like I can go out to eat now for his birthday.
If you had talked to me this morning, I was a mess. I was crying and cursing and laying down, getting up, heating pads and ice packs and just miserable and I was yelling.
If I yelled at you on the phone, I'm sorry. Pain is a horrid monster and it makes me a horrid monster.
So anyway, as is our family tradition, we're heading to the Oriental Buffet to grab a bunch of take out and come back here to eat and celebrate his birthday.
I get to see my nieces again which is awesome.
I don't get to see them nearly enough anymore.
I so wished they lived closer so I could aunty-sit my girls.
They are getting so big now. Susan talks in full sentences and is so curious and always asking questions and Skye has a mouth full of teeth and is such a little cutie. Kids are so accepting of oddities that older people aren't. Like all my earrings and piercings. Skye waits for me to stick my tongue out and she tries to grab my ring. It's like our little game. She tries to grab it, I pretend to bite her and she just laughs and laughs.
I miss baby days with my own kids. They grow up so stinking fast man.
Can you believe Sebastian is 13 today?? Where did the time go? When did this teenager happen?
Mark will be old enough on his birthday this August to get his drivers permit. *gasp choke faint*
Ok, time for me to get dressed to go.
Later days.
P.S. I am uploading the xrays privately now.
I am still amazed at what is inside me every time I look at them.
