Have you raised teenage boys?
If so, I need help/advice/whatever you want to call it.
The teens are out of control and I can't get them back in line.
I've lost my mom mojo.
I really think that all the time I was gone, coupled with all the time I have been out of it due to medication, has made them forget exactly who's boss around here.
They aren't listening any longer.
They are flat out refusing to do chores.
They are constantly fighting and attempting to murder one another.
Now I know the teen years suck ass.
I was a teen once myself but I don't quite recall this level of disrespect.
I know I was mouthy from time to time, Mom, feel free to leave a comment telling me that yes, I was a mouthy brat and didn't listen. I'm sure as we age, we forget we were complete assholes to our parents, but dear fucking god, what the hell happened to my awesome teenagers in the last 7 months?!
When I first came home from the hospital, they were magnificent, outstanding, wonderful. They cooked, they cleaned, they helped me with every inch of this house and with my needs. If I needed help getting in and out of the shower those first weeks, they helped me. If my legs needed to be shaved, they did it without a word of complaint.
I'm not asking them to do any of that.
I'm simply asking them to clean their room. To clean the game room. I don't use that room. I don't even go in there unless I'm burning a cd. (Their pc has the burner on it)
I'm asking them to pick up their dirty socks from under the coffee table, to put their shoes away, to take out the trash, take care of the litter boxes and mow the lawn.
That's it.
I'm not asking them to do dishes, clean the bathroom, vac the rugs, wash windows, do laundry, nothing out of those few chores listed above.
You wanna know the root cause of the attitudes lately? You won't believe this.
Runescape. An on line game. It's a dumb game, not even as good as Warcraft, no where's near as good as Warcraft. It's a piece of shit game with bad graphics and shitty sound but, all their friends play it and all their friends call here night after night, hour after hour, to trade items in the game, to sell, buy, whatever it is they are doing in that ridiculous game.
It costs $5.00 per month to have a subscription to it which my sister put on her credit card.
As soon as I'm done typing this entry, I'm logging into the game with the name and password, and deleting the subscription.
It's done. I'm over it.
It's non-stop fighting all the fucking time over what happened in a stupid fucking game.
It got so out of control. Let me just tell you what has brought me to the point of wanting to commit computercide.
They had to go to the store for me. They were each going to be able to buy something as always. I always let them buy themselves a snack or a sub from the Publix deli for going to the store. They don't have to carry home 20 lbs of groceries. It's usually small stuff, no more than 1 plastic bag each. Go to the pharmacy, get my script, go to Publix and buy some more lunch meat, buy some donuts or more cereal for breakfast the next day and then get yourselves a treat.
What happened?!
They hadn't even been gone 5 minutes when Sebastian comes back in the door.
Crying.
They were walking, talking about that stupid fucking game, they were bitching about that stupid fucking game.
Mark called Sebastian a few names, Sebastian called him a few names.
Mark pulled Sebastian's hair. Sebastian CHOKED Mark.
Mark BIT Sebastian in the head.
All in the middle of our street.
So Sebastian is now inside the house screaming and crying. Mark comes in 5 minutes later.
They were standing in my living room acting like 4 year olds arguing over a bouncy ball.
It was insane.
I lost it.
This has been building for weeks, months, and I just finally lost it.
I had been trying so hard to be cool, to be laid back, they had done so much for me in those weeks after surgery. I shouldn't have ever let my mom guard down for a split second.
I'm pretty sure I sprouted 20 new grey hairs during the fight that followed them coming back inside the house.
They were yelling, I was yelling.
I ended up having to walk away and go in my room and close the door. I was beyond furious. My heart was racing, I felt like it was going to rip out of my chest.
They were still in the living room arguing. Over what? That stupid fucking game and now, the fight they had in the middle of the street. Who started it and why.
Who fucking cares who fucking started it!?
The point is it happened in the middle of our god damned street and then kept going inside my fucking house!!!
I'm at my wits end.
I have unplugged the network connection. They have no internet access.
I took away the controllers to the PlayStation and unplugged the TV in that room.
I'm considering making their lives hell when they come today.
Boot camp, mommy style.
I will not live in a house like this. I can't deal with the stress from it all.
I'm sure someone is is going to send me an anonymous comment or two. It never fails. Something along the lines of what a horrible mother I am.
Save it.
This is my blog and I'll bitch and complain and whine and vent if I want to.
If you have nothing constructive to say to me regarding how to deal with teenage boys raging hormones and fighting, then just don't post a comment.
It's not needed.
What is needed are people who have dealt with teenagers, who understand what the fuck I'm talking about. The mouthing off, the fighting, the disrespect. I know all teenagers do it, I just need to know how we're all going to survive these years without killing each other.
I'm one parent doing this. I'm one parent struggling to raise young men and I lost my grip on the situation and am having a tough time getting it back.
Pass the Prozac, or Valium, or vodka, this way please.
Thanks.
Comments
Boot camp isn't a bad thing at all. You'll whip them back into shape. I don't know how you manage to do it all Kat - you are one incredible woman {{{hugs}}}
Posted by: Paul | September 20, 2006 1:45 PM
When I was about 15, I got myself to the point where I was convinced I knew everything about the world and I didn't have to listen to my parents. My younger sister and I argued constantly, and I was a general arrogant b*tch.
One day we came home to our rooms stripped down to the furniture, my tv gone, my bedroom phone gone and my door off of the hinges. My mom made a schedule and I had to have all my homework done and show it all to her before I could watch one hour of television a night. I earned back one thing at a time by behaving for an entire week and doing all my chore when asked to, and if I sassed her, etc, the week started over the NEXT Sunday. Since the big bone of contention back then was the phone in the room, I didn't get that back until school got out and I got a job. I never got the TV back.
Let's just say I am still glad when I can watch more than an hour of television and I'm 30 and married. And when my dad calls my name out, I still answer "Sir?"
Posted by: Amy | September 20, 2006 1:47 PM
Holy shit. I hope your wake-up call to them is heard.
"Computercide" - love it! I've learned a new word!
Posted by: Chickie | September 20, 2006 3:12 PM
I completely agree with this...time to open up a can on the kids. If I was in FL I'd bring out my style of boot camp and work it w/ ya...
Posted by: Pete B | September 20, 2006 3:15 PM
TAKE AMY,S ADVICE IT WILL WORK EVERY TIME. REMEMBER GRANDPAS SAYING THIS TOO WILL PASS. LOVE YOU AND I AM PROUD OF YOU. ONE DAY AT A TIME IT WILL ALL WORK OUT.ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU ARE IN CHARGE AND THEY ARE KIDS.
Posted by: MOM | September 20, 2006 3:36 PM
I'm not a parent, but I agree 100% with what you are doing! Too many kids these days are horrible spoiled brats who get their own way all of the time. You are doing those boys a favor by lowering the boom and letting them know that you will NOT tolerate such poor behavior.
Your mom is right...YOU are in charge here. Contrary to what I hear these days, taking away privileges is NOT child abuse. If you were to beat the shit out of them, and lock them in their room and starved them, yes, that would be abuse. But they won't die without video games and computer privileges and such.
You are a good mom, Kat, and I applaud you for the way you have raised your boys. You don;t want them to be little shits, so you do what you gotta do. That is way more than most parents bother to do these days.
Good luck!
Posted by: Christine | September 20, 2006 4:45 PM
they need excercise! more activities beside pc and playstation. my son does tae kwon do. it helps with respect and all that good stuff. plus teaches self defense.
Posted by: Debbie | September 20, 2006 5:40 PM
If I could afford tae kwon do or even after school sports on my SSDI, I would do it. The schools here require the parents to pay for all the uniforms and pads or whatever gear they need. I have two teens on one SSDI monthly check. I'm doing the best I can with what I have at my disposal.
Posted by: kat | September 20, 2006 5:51 PM
Wow sounds like dealing with ppl who play Final Fantasy XI! Except all the bickering and arguing is done on the game! >.
Posted by: Kelly | September 21, 2006 1:09 AM
Gah, I can so relate. My kids are fighting left and right over NOTHING. Something else stupid all. the. damned. time. I am sick of it. I am going to go back and read what you came up with, and I plan on doing the exact same thing with my boys. I will be sitting them down tomorrow afternoon and laying down the law myself. I've let mine run over me for far too long, and it's going to stop!
Posted by: Belle | September 21, 2006 3:05 AM
Kat -
I have two teenage boys, 14 and 17. I wish I had some words of wisdom or great advice, but I don't. I truly believe in my heart that you are an excellent mother. I think that you have a case of boys being boys. I sometimes have a kum-ba-ya fantasy of how my boys should interact, but they love each other one minute, and hate each other the next. There are moments where I want to pull my hair out of my head but they do pass. I think this phase with your boys will also pass. I think you made the right decision...cutting off their access to the net. If they are going to fight about it, they don't need it. Let them see you mean business and they'll get it together. Hang in there, girl.
Posted by: Brandi | September 21, 2006 9:45 AM