My Single Mom Life

While I'd like to say that everything is hunky dory, I can't. The surgery did straighten me out and I'm relieved with that. I stand tall for the first time in my life, but the pre-surgery pain still exists although on a somewhat less level.
I still have terrible days where I just lay in bed with heating pads and take a million hot showers and rub cura heat or bengay all over my lower back and hips.
I wish it wasn't that way, but I knew that pain relief was not a guarantee.
Things are getting easier as each day passes. I can do more and more.
I tied my own shoes for the first time since surgery, I managed to take care of my own toes, not polish, but at least they aren't a mile long and in desperate need of attention.
I can shave my lower legs without assistance finally. Yay!
I still have trouble getting up and down from reaching for things in the lower cabinets and stuff. I'm sure in time that will get easier.

Other issues have come up like the flaming ulcer of death which does need medical attention. I see Doc M. on the first and will explain all this to him and hope he can help me out. I know he can, what am I saying? He's been an amazing doctor and his whole staff is simply amazing. They have never left me hanging for anything. Calls and emails are always returned within a few hours.

I dunno. I thought I'd be farther along with all of this. I thought things would be magically fixed ya know? I mean, I knew they wouldn't, but there was always that hope, that wish, that things would just be so much better than the pre-surgery hell I was in everyday.
Some things are and some things aren't, and I guess it's just disappointing that I'm not so much farther than I am.
The biggest pain, the biggest aggravation, is the searing, burning pain in my hips sometimes. They just burn so hot that I can feel it through my clothes the heat coming off of them at times. I wonder when that will stop, if it will ever stop. If I'll end up needing those screws removed.
He said he can take those out a few years down the road if need be. I don't want to have more surgery, but if this burning shit doesn't go away in a year or two years, I'll do it just for the relief from that.

There's funny bits to all of this new torment at times. Like throwing up. It's interesting.
Like when you throw up, you can get right down there and hug the porcelain god. I can't. It's kind of comical standing above the bowl, arms stretched down and grasping the seat but still standing tall, hoping to get the puke in the bowl. Good aim is a requirement these days.
Attempting to pick things up off the floor is a balancing act. Trying to squat down as low as possible instead of just bending over and picking whatever it is up, I get to squat low and hope I don't fall over.
I leave a lot of things on the floor. Cat gack is left for the boys to clean up. I simply can't get down and clean it up. I drop a paper towel on it as a marker of sorts, so I don't step in it and mash it into the carpet.
Drop a sock on the floor out of the dryer? It might just stay there unless I attempt to grab it with my toes to pick it up.
It's a lot of various things that are new and challenging day by day. I hope in time they will all get easier to do.

Ok, enough of this reflection shit, it's depressing.
Later days.