My Single Mom Life: Archives

Here we are again, really early morning hours and I have not yet been asleep. And it sucks too because around 10am, a friend of Sebastian's is coming back over to spend the day with us. Why is he coming back over? Because he went home at 10pm, not allowed to spend the night, due to when he and his brother slept over during summer vacation, on a Friday night, they stayed awake till about 1am. "No sleepovers. Not at our house or theirs." See, the night the brothers slept over during the summer, I was not notified that they needed to be sleeping by 9pm. Two teenage boys, on summer vacation, asleep, at a sleepover, at 9pm. The parents failed to tell me they wanted this enforced. They made no mention of any bedtimes, just said to call if the boys caused any trouble. So thinking it was summer vacation and nothing had been said, I let all four of the boys, my two and the two brothers, stay awake quietly playing video games until I went to bed at 1am. I said, 'time for bed boys,' and all four grabbed blankets and pillows, and camped out in the living room. Four well behaved boys on summer vacation. But since I was not informed of their bedtime by the parents, it has been decided that Sebastian cannot spend nights at his friends house, and his friend cannot spend nights here. Because that kids parents failed to inform me. Not because I was a slack ass parent, because they were. But because those parents feel like I was a slack ass, they are punishing the kids by not allowing them to do what kids do, sleep over and play video games and oh my gosh, have fun on a non-school night, Friday night.

Yes, I am an unconventional parent, I do let my kids stay up very late, but I always respect other parents wishes, when expressed.
If they don't tell me that 14 year old "Johnny" needs to be asleep at 9pm, how the hell am I supposed to know I just made them pissed off?
Shouldn't they have told me this when dropping their sons off that night?
Yes! Yes they should have. I'm not a mind reader, and I don't send my teenagers to bed on non-school nights at 9pm.
First of all, they are teenagers, not elementary aged boys. My sons are in bed by 10:30pm on school nights. Non-school nights, they stay up till they pass out. It's not hurting anybody if they stay up late.

But I digress.
How can I be held responsible for enforcing a bedtime I was never informed of?
How is it right to punish those boys months later, for one night back in June, on a Friday during summer vacation?
Haven't those two boys been punished for their parents failure to speak up, long enough?
And why haven't these parents said anything at all to me in regards to what happened?
Perhaps they know that I'll tell them, they never told me about mandatory bedtimes during summer vacation. Perhaps this is all just an excuse to keep the boys under their thumb a little bit longer.
It's a terrible shame this nice kid is still being punished for his parents failure to express rules.

If you were dropping your kids off for a sleepover, wouldn't you tell the parents hosting it, your rules and wishes? Perhaps even food allergies, pet allergies? Teeth brushing, hair brushing, pj wearing rules?
I know I always do.

Comments

I was also up at 4:14 a.m. (still am, now 5:18 a.m.)... but then again I went to bed at 8 PM last night...

Anyway, you're right. They should have told you then. They should have spoken to you directly after. And they should not be such dickwads months later.

Posted by: terry | April 14, 2007 5:19 AM

I feel bad for the kids. This boy is a really nice boys, tries so hard to please people, and his parents are being dicks almost a year later now. Craziness.

Posted by: kat | April 14, 2007 6:04 AM

Man! That sucks..... The parents are the ones acting like children!!!

Your blog was perfect timing for me, as my son is almost 14 and he had two of his friends (both from diff families) stay over last night. We have these kids over all the time..... and I always wonder how late to let them stay up! I just figure, like you, that if the parents had a preference that they should inform you up front! Like if they have something planned for the next day, an earlier bedtime makes sense....... Otherwise, let them be KIDS!!!

I can't fathom having a 14 yr. old go to bed at 9 pm.... that seems cruel and unusual... ;o) I sent the boys to bed around 12:30 am and that seemed resonable to me.

My son goes to bed around 10:30 normally....but we homeschool so he can sleep in until 8 am even during the school year. What I can't figure out..... HOW can those parents justify their "punishment" a year later??? What ever happened to second chances??? Beside... I agree with you in that if they had a strong conviction about something like that, they should have alerted you beforehand.....

Sorry this was so long. Hope the boys can stay over at your place again soon.....

Posted by: Michelle | April 14, 2007 10:02 AM

Long comments are just fine.
I totally agree with what you said on bedtimes and parental responsibility. Not all parents, like this kids parents, see it that way obviously.

Posted by: kat | April 14, 2007 12:43 PM

Well, that's just stupid. I have bene known, more times than not, to let my oldest child, Nicklaus stay up half the night and early morning with his dad playing video games on the weekend and throughout the summer. Truth be told, I've let Noni, the 5 year old, do it also. Where she falls to sleep at is where she stays. Middle of the den, meh...no problem. School nights are a different matter, but even then the rules get broken in the Nutz household ALOT. Anyway...they are stupid...and I almost emailed you around 4:30 or so to see if you were around. Can I say I have a new insomniac buddy?...LOL

Posted by: Kel | April 14, 2007 1:19 PM

My youngest sister is 14 and always has friends over or is at a friend's house. They go to bed when they please, things were different for me, she's the youngest of 5 kids and gets away with a lot. There are, however, expectations, such as keeping things quiet and they will be awake by 10 am.

And parents don't always mention things like that. Once I was at my ex fiance's family's home and his little brother's friend had a seizure. Apparently he had them often and his parents neglected to mention that information, I think they were around 12ish.

Posted by: Kim | April 14, 2007 11:56 PM

My Single Mom Life

4:14am.

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