My Single Mom Life

I am getting some comments, and a few emails from people on the entry below.
Yes, I know by helping her, I am enabling her and HIM, to keep this cycle of crap going.
I understand that, but there is a child involved who doesn't deserve to be without basic things like toilet paper because his father's a cock sucker.

Someone mentioned food banks and pantry's, department of children and families for food help and stuff.
They cannot get any kind of financial help.
Why?
Because her husband makes too much money to qualify for help.
He is not withholding items because he doesn't have the money to pay for them. It's because he won't.
There's a huge difference between affording, and withholding to control people.
He makes very good money, this is about control, not finances.

I do know that I need to sit down with her and tell her I can't help her any more, that real help has been offered and she needs to take it, or I can't help her anymore.
I do have to tell her that by giving her these things, I am enabling him to keep on doing what he does.
I know this. But I also have an innocent child who lives in that house and is verbally and emotionally abused all the time.
I have to think about him and what my actions, stopping the help, will do to him.
The situation could get much worse for him and his mother, but I know I have to say no more.

Department of children and families has been to that house several times. Each time they walk away not doing anything.
The father is a master manipulator, he knows what to say, how to say it. He blames the kid, he says the kid is lying about stuff. He says his wife is lying about the stuff.
I have even spoken with DHS myself, told them all that I know, told them the conditions of that house, and they still walk away.
Department of children and families is completely over worked in Florida. Getting them to pay attention to repeated calls for help, falls on deaf ears for some reason.
Believe me, many people have called them about this family.
A few of our neighbors have called, teachers have called. They come over, talk to them for a few minutes and leave.
Many of us have tried many times to get that family help, and DHS isn't doing their job.
What do we do when the people who are supposed to help, don't?

So no, she can't go get food stamps, she can't go to food banks, because all of those places require proof of income and the husband makes too much money.
The problem is, he won't spend it because money is power to him.
Holding back needs is power to him, it keeps the wife and son in his control because they have to rely on him for these things.

I thank you all for what you said, but the answers are not as easy as people think they are.
I've tried all of these things. I've gone with her and helped her apply on line for food stamps and even medicaid for her son, and it gets turned down because he makes too much money.
I've gone with her to food banks, same thing, too much income.
This is about power, not the money.

I really thank all of you for your advice and opinions, but it's not quite so easy as just saying no. There could be repercussions on the mother and son, that I don't even want to think about.
I am going to talk with her tomorrow while he's at work, talk to her again about the offer of real help, tell her I can't do it anymore, and hope that nothing goes bad.
No one really has any idea how much this sucks being the one who this woman and child confide in, and knowing what they live with, and not being able to convince them to leave.
I have to try and convince her to take the offer and go.
This whole thing sucks.