My Single Mom Life

I am probably buying this book, Take Time for Your Life, tomorrow night when I get paid.
It comes recommended from several people who have read it and say it helped them be more assertive in their lives, be able to take control of their lives and situations.

There are things about myself I need to work on, and some of them are how I allow others to treat me.
My kids often tell me I am too nice, but I was raised, and think, that being nice, being helpful and kind, will get you the same in return.
Karma basically.
I'm a firm believer in treating my fellow man with respect, and hopefully they will give you respect in return.
But it doesn't happen with me all the time.
People do not see, or ignore my personal boundaries. Maybe I do allow that to happen. I always thought I didn't, but I have noticed a lot recently, that my 'me' messages are being ignored.

The author says there are 7 obstacles that prevent people from living their lives how they would love to.
They are:
1. You think "selfish" is a dirty word. *this is me*
2. Your schedule does not reflect your priorities. *this is me*
3. You feel drained by people, places, and things. *this is me*
4. You feel trapped by money. *this is me*
5. Adrenaline has become your main source of fuel. *this is me*
6. You're missing a supportive community in your life. *this is me*
7. Your spiritual well-being gets last place in your busy life. *this is me*

The plan for overcoming these obstacles are:
1. Practicing extreme self-care. This means making time for yourself (just you, all by yourself) each and every week.
2. Setting priorities that are aligned with your true intentions and honoring them.
3. Identifying and eliminating what drains you. Remember all that "stuff" in your basement?
4. Investing in your financial health.
5. Using healthy fuel-kicking the adrenaline habit and fueling your body healthfully.
6. Building a soulful community of relationships
7. Attending to your spiritual well-being. This might mean mediation, prayer, yoga, or some other form of spiritual expression.

Those are steps I need to take as you can see, all the obstacles are marked by me.
I know I have things I need to do, but I have no idea how to do them.
I need better, more supportive, more understanding relationships in my life.
I so wish Shell and I lived closer, she knows me, gets me, understands my needs better than anyone else I've ever known.
I do have some great on line friendships who give me a lot of what I need, they know who they are, I stay in contact with them almost daily.
But I so wish Shell was here, or me there. I just can't take that cold Maine weather and that sucks so fucking bad.

I've been trying to write this post for close to an hour, you'll see the time stamp of when I started writing it. It's 12:42 now.
I have so much I want to say, need to say, but I don't know how.

It's funny to me.
Today I got called a rockin' girl blogger by two people who think I am amazing because I say what needs to be said, I stand up for things I believe in.
On another blog, I just got called a hero because I am standing up and saying what needs to be said, and here, in my own personal life, where I am wicked stressed out, I can't even bring myself to say what I need to say for myself.
I can't say the words that I need to say to bring myself the peace and solitude I need, all because I hate guilt, and hate hurting other people.
I allow it to take over me, and take on the feelings of others.

I have to stop this before it consumes me.