My Single Mom Life

Last night I received an email from Rob, calls himself #1 Dad, and ya know what?
I think he is a #1 Dad.
Why?

I went through the divorce thing about a year ago, and I have two wonderful children with my ex. All of a sudden I felt like I was cut out of the loop when it came to things that were happening in my kids' lives. Before I moved out, we had a calendar on the fridge that had all of the upcoming events and appointments posted on it. Seeking to replace that, I built a web site for my ex and I to use to share events and stuff and to see them along side our custody schedule. We can also build a shared parenting guide, send mail to each other and receive text messages when the calendar is updated.
The site really helps keep arguments down since we don't have to talk to each other so much. I am really proud of it. So I spiffed it up a bit and opened it up for everyone to use for free.

I checked out Custody Planner last night, and while it is of no use to me and my ex after 14 years of divorce and non-communication, I think it is an invaluable tool for newly divorced parents.
I absolutely love this site.

I created an account so I could see all the features, and I do believe this is the ideal way for newly divorced parents who are still touchy when it comes to having to talk to the ex, to actually talk to the ex.
Communication is key when you have kids, they need to know that things are going to be ok, that mom and dad, even though they no longer live together, have a plan and will take care of them.

You setup your account, and plug in your custody schedule, you can leave notes for the other parent, and there's a parenting section, just for the two parents, to discuss "issues like bedtimes, discipline, chores and homework requirements can be posted here with each parent's take on the subject. The resulting parenting guide can help insure that both parents are on the same page as much as possible."

In the custody section, you post the rules of the custody agreement, and the exceptions.
Ya know, like holiday schedules that change from year to year, vacations, overnight stays that just come up from time to time, stuff like that.
There's a calendar that shows the custody schedule, and a mailbox so you and your ex can use one website to stay in touch about all things custody related.

The way it works, is you login and enter your info, your exes first name, and all the custody stuff from the legal papers, and then send the ex an invitation to use the site.
Now both parents have one single website to use to discuss all things custody related, they don't have to speak on the phone if things are still at that angry, painful part of divorce, no one has to be the one to make the first phone call about visitation or other issues.
All communication can be done through the site.
Hopefully, after enough time passes and the hurt has eased up, then the parents could start talking by phone again, be cordial to each other.
Divorce is ugly, and when you have kids, it can get even uglier because there's always one parent who thinks the other parent, parents wrong.
This site could help lessen the tension during the rough first year of divorce and custody.

I emailed Rob right back last night and told him;

If only you had been a divorcing man 14 years ago, maybe my ex and I would have been able to use this site to communicate, rather than the way we ended up.
Sorry to say, there are no visits between my sons and their father, nor emails, holiday or birthday cards, phone calls, etc etc.

I believe that. I believe a site like this may have helped us.
We couldn't even look at each other, never mind actually speak of the boys.
We still can't.

If you are a newly divorced parent, or going through a divorce now, check out Custody Planner.
It may be the way to help you and the ex, be the best parents possible during the very hard time of divorce.
And did I mention it's free?