My Single Mom Life

For $39.99, I can buy myself a Sansa Clip 1GB MP3 Player.
It's the competitor of the iPod shuffle.
It's about the size of a matchbook, but unlike the shuffle, it has a small OLED screen that displays playlists and currently playing tunes.
But!
It's also compatible with both MP3 and WMA files, an integrated FM tuner, and a microphone for voice memos, and it comes in 1 and 2 GB capacities.
I wants it. I will has it.
$40! I can totally afford that.
I have been wanting an MP3 player for years, I just couldn't afford one.
A 1 gig iPod shuffle is $80. I can't ever justify spending that kind of money on myself.
I mean, do you have any idea how many times I've had more than enough money to buy myself a really nice digital camera or iPod, and couldn't be "selfish"?

Yes, I said selfish.
I'm one of those moms who bestows guilt upon herself for wanting to buy nice things for myself.
I can't do it.
I go clothes shopping for me, and I head straight for the clearance racks.
When we went school shopping, I bought myself one new pair of shorts.
Guess how much they were?
The regular price was $12.99, and they had been marked down the first time to $7.99, and then they ended up on the clearance rack for get this, $1.99.
I bought myself a 4 pack of mens Hanes, black, 1 pocket t-shirts, on sale for $4.99.
I bought the boys whatever clothes and shoes they wanted, and even though I didn't spend much, they get the goods, I get cheap.
Self imposed mom guilt for wanting and having nice things.

But I can totally spend $40 on myself for a really cute MP3 player.

Isn't it cute?
Look how small it is?
I won't care if when I order it, I don't get to pick the color, black or pink, blue, whatever. I can always get a cover for it if the pink would start getting on my nerves.
I'm totally going to get it.
I deserve it ya know?
I work hard, I do all this household bill paying and raising of children on my own.
I deserve to have one small thing just for me.