Happy to be here!
First of all, I'm so happy that Kat's having me as a guest! (Love the blog!)
As she said, I have a new novel out 'Waiting to Surface'
Though it's fiction, it's based pretty closely on my life - and tells how I became a single mom like so many of you. I thought I'd tell you a little bit about the story behind the book. At the time the events in Waiting to Surface occurred I was the features director of Self Magazine. My husband was sculptor whose work had been bought by a lot museums and major collectors. We had been married for ten years and had a six year old daughter. My husband had gone down to Florida to visit a friend. He was depressed and we were going thru a rocky period.
Anyway, I was sitting in my office on an August morning when the police in Florida called to tell me my husband had disappeared without a trace. At the time, they thought he had probably drowned. There were indications that he was suicidal. But it was totally baffling to them and to me that they couldn't find his body. The coast guard had scoured the shore by helicopter and found nothing. At first I was of course in total shock but it didn't seem possible that this was all I would find out.
Within a couple of days, the police changed their minds. They believed a body would have washed up and that my husband was alive someplace. The coast guard totally disagreed and said that because of the tides that night if he had gone out just 100 yards, his body would have been washed out to sea. I hired a private detective who came to believe that he had died either accidentally or intentionally but that his body would never be found.
To me the hardest part was coming to accept that I would never really know what happened that night.
Though Waiting to Surface is a very personal story everyone has to deal with uncertainty in their lives to some degree. Every time you send your child out into the world or kiss someone goodbye you don't know what will happen. Learning to live and be happy despite is a big issue for so many of us. So here's my question to all of you: How do you all deal with the uncertainty in your lives????
Comments
So nice to meet you, Emily! I'm a regular reader of Kat's. I know your story will be quite a read; I need to find a copy ASAP.
As for how I deal with uncertainty? Well, it would eat me up if I let it. I do slip and worry and get depressed because of it, but most of the time I just try to ride it out however I can. Not always possible to do without other emotional upheaval, but I do try to enjoy my life despite its uncertainties.
Posted by: Belle | December 9, 2007 10:05 PM
Thank you Emily for sharing that tidbit with us, and certainly I do not know how I would handle uncertainty if someone I knew or loved had either vanished or whatever. That would frankly scare the wits out of me. But I guess I would have to learn, and do some soul searching in my own life and to go on, if I never got closure or the reason why. Then I would want to find out why and figure out on my own.
Again thank you for sharing, its an eye opener.
Posted by: Christie | December 10, 2007 7:44 AM
Dear Emily,
Your story is fascinating... I, too, must buy this book! I'm so sorry you had to go through such an experience, though. I can't imagine how I would have dealt with it.
Smaller uncertainties pale in comparison to one's husband disappearing without a trace...
Posted by: terry | December 11, 2007 1:22 PM
I read your story on the net somewhere recently (maybe on your own blog) and felt then that that was a heartbreak that no one should have to suffer. You and your daughter have my total sympathy.
How do I deal with uncertainty? Well, there was a time in my life where I let it consume me and my life was miserable. I was depressed, I made my husband and children unhappy with my mood swings and was physically ill. It helped NOTHING.
There came a time when I realized that there were just some things in life that I had no control over. So, I gave them up to the Lord. He watches over me and keeps my burdens from becoming too heavy.
No, I'm no bible pounder. Don't even go to church on a regular basis, but the Bible teaches that you don't have to -- all you have to have is faith....and I have that now.
Good luck to you and your daughter. It sounds like you have come to have a method for dealing with your own uncertainties and I applaud you for it. It takes strength of character to do that.
Hugs,
Maggie
Posted by: Maggie | December 11, 2007 4:41 PM