Lots of strong opinions on the post below.
Most of the women would be as upset as my neighbor, one guy blames the wife for not pleasing her husband in bed, some think she should just tell him she knows, some think she's a liar too, some people think porn is just fine, others think she's violating postal laws by opening his mail.
On the mail issue, the husband has given his wife permission to open all the mail no matter what it is, because she is the one who does all the bill paying.
For the guy who says she's not pleasing her husband as the reason he's turned to porn, what if she is pleasing him? Does that change your view on his porn ordering?
For those who think porn is just fine, remember now, to each person their own. Not everyone likes or enjoys porn like you do. Some people find it nasty and disgusting, and truly oppose it.
He may indeed call the company and ask where his product is, and when they say they were shipped, he'll just keep checking the mail even more. This guy is not the brightest bulb in the bunch here, he lies about where he ate lunch everyday, he's not gonna come out and ask her for this.
For those who think she's a liar as well. Yes, she is, but as a wife who opposes porn of any kind, and has this show up in the mail with her husbands permission to open all mail and packages, she's doing what she thinks she needs to. This is her marriage on the line, not mine, not yours. Two liars under one roof makes for a lot of secrets about a lot of things on both sides of the marital bed.
Would it make any difference to any of you if they had a 12 year old son who shares the exact same name as his father, and could possibly open these packages thinking it's for him?
Does having a kid in the home make any difference at all?
Comments
I personally would not stay in a marriage where there was lying going on from both parties. But that's just me...this woman's life is very different from my own.
I didn't even think about the opening mail thing, because Mike says I can open any mail that comes for him. I don't care if he opens my mail when he picks it up from the P.O. box, neither one of us has anything to hide.
I'm not opposed to all porn, even though I think GGW is skeevy because it exploits drunken underaged girls. That Joe Francis guy belongs in jail. But I think that once you're married, and especially if you have kids, it's time to realize that your life is not completely your own, there are other people to consider. If this guy wants to watch porn, he should have just stayed single, and not had kids.
But he chose to marry a woman who doesn't like porn, he chose to have a kid. So he needs to be a responsible person, and be a good husband and father, a good role model for his son.
And if he won't or can't, it's up to Mom to take action. As much as a 12 year old boy would enjoy watching GGW DVDs, it's not appropriate for him, and she did what she had to do to keep him from seeing it.
From what I know about this family, the father is not a good role model as it it, he is not showing proper respect for his wife. Kids see this and think it's acceptable behavior. For the boy to know that his dad likes to watch exploitative porn would just make things worse. You are raising your sons to respect women and treat them properly, and that's the right thing to do.
I think that she, and you (by disposing of the porn) did the right thing in this case. Although she does have serious marital problems that need to be addressed, she's doing what she can just to survive day-to-day.
Posted by: Christine | January 30, 2008 11:31 AM
Iwould never open my husband's mail and he would never open mine. I would definitely be at the doorway greeting him with an arched eyebrow holding the DVD if something like this arrived at ouor house! LOL ...
Hubby had received a couple of porn videos at his bachelor's party years ago, which we watched once and basically guffawed at. When we had our daughter, he made a point of throwing them away. I thought that was definitely the right thing to do.
Posted by: Chris (Singer) | January 30, 2008 7:13 PM
what it boils down to is dishonesty.
his for trying to sneak porn past his wife when i assume he knows she has a problem with it.
and hers for throwing it out without at least telling him. if neither one can be honest with each other about a video, i dont think porn is the real problem.
Posted by: brian | January 30, 2008 7:58 PM
Two wrongs don't make a right !!!
Posted by: John | January 31, 2008 1:03 AM
They're both fucked up and you should limit your involvement as much as possible, but then again, lots of us have been saying that for awhile now... ahem. :)
Posted by: lg | February 1, 2008 12:20 AM