Today has just been a super painful day.
Between being whacked on Saturday, and playing with my niece all day yesterday, and today's fun filled and fabulous Florida rainy weather, me and the couch have been best friends again.
Heating pads, somas, pain meds, hot showers, and sleep, are how I've spent most of today.
I hate it when it gets like this, so painful that even just bending down to pee makes it throb.
The times I have sat here and tried to do stuff, it was like 15 minute intervals.
Couch, sit, couch, sit, sleep, couch, sit, sleep.
It's supposed to rain again tomorrow too.
Yay!
Not.
Teresa is doing a new weekly photo meme called Macro Monday, and because I'm trying to get better at my camera, I decided to play along.
I love macro shots, and I think I am getting better at them.
This is Captain Hook, he's just a small part of a Disney Snow globe I own.
Yes, it's very dusty, but I think I did really good on it.
You may not want to click for bigger, I didn't edit the size down. D'oh!
And this is the whole globe for comparison.
I may just have to play along every week just so I can keep improving my skills.
I love taking pictures, I just need to get better, and the only way to do that is practice, practice, practice!
Thanks for the great idea Teresa!
I went to the fridge to get a soda, it was the last can in the 12 pack, so I took it out, and tried to take the box out.
When I did, the teens cans of regular Pepsi started to fall and I tried to catch them with my left hand, while still hanging onto the empty box with my right.
I proceeded to slam my left thumbnail straight on, into a shelf.
Head on, direct slam.
This resulted in the following, and will probably cause the loss of the nail, as it has already started to "bubble" and "lift".
To say it's painful is an understatement.
The crack goes down a lot further than it looks, and the right side of it is where it's bubbling and lifting.
I've wrapped 3 band-aids around it after trimming off what I could of the really cracked part, and then taped it to hold the band-aids on secure over night.
Freaking ouch man.
We spent the whole day with Susan who just seems to be growing up at such an amazing rate.
She's smart, funny, and keeps you on your toes.
My sister has her enrolled in Tae Kwon Do classes, and so I had her show me a few moves.
She showed me the bow, a straight kick, a punch, and a target punch, and then a side kick.
She's just too stinking cute.
I love how she pretends the basketball hoop is a horse or a rocket, or a car.
I love how she's fascinated by nature.
Bugs, lizards, and the strange nut things that fall out of the palm tree.
When I was getting dressed this morning, I had to grab some underwear from the clean clothes on top of the dryer, that I hadn't yet put away.
I couldn't figure out why all my clean stuff was covered in cat hair.
Now I know.
Looks like I'll be re-washing everything again.
And this time, I will put it away, right away.
Dang cat.
God morning!
It's absolutely gorgeous out today.
It's a little warm, but the sky is beautiful.
I have decided that if I could get enough cats, I could open my own franchise of lawn mowing cats.
It would be the perfectly ecological friendly grass cutting system.
No gas, no electricity, just 100 cats in a row, chowing down on the lawn.
Cats love grass, and Nova especially.
My lawn would be kept short, Mark wouldn't have to be out there sweating his butt off, just 100 fat cats keeping it short.
Oh my, my my my, I have had a helluva day.
I went grocery shopping this afternoon, and I swear, every single senior asshole snowbird, was in Publix today.
The snowbirds suck, all of them, but the seniors are by far the worst.
I know I've bitched about this plenty of times, but today, I wanted to physically kill one of them.
Publix was overly crowded with snowbirds, the majority of them were of the senior variety.
The most obnoxious species to behold.
If you see one, or a small crowd of them, stay out of their way.
They have absolutely no manners and believe that the world revolves around them.
Publix had the hair-brained idea, that having every stock clerk on the floor and stocking shelves from noon to 4pm, was just the best thing ever.
But no, it's not.
Saturdays are busy shopping days, it's the one day of the week most people have off of work and can go get food.
Having 20 stock clerks clogging the aisles is just bad.
I went in the cereal aisle, or I should say, attempted to go in the cereal aisle, when I was immediately blocked in by a stock clerk to my left refilling the pop-tarts, the granola bars, and fruit snacks, and 2 shoppers in front of me going my direction, and 3 trying to go the opposite.
An old woman, approximately 65-75 years of age, came in behind me and proceeded to bang her cart into my ass.
I turned to her and said; "Ma'am, I can't go anywhere. There are people in front of me, and no room to go around because he's stocking the shelves".
She made a face that I assumed wrongly, to be of understanding.
Just a mere 30 seconds later, I thought I had been hit by a car.
Well it was a cart and not a car, and it was this same ladies cart, and it wasn't just a small hit, oh no, it was a full on slam directly into my tail bone.
I turned around and snapped; "What the fuck is your problem lady?! I told you, I can't go anywhere! If you want to go up this aisle so badly, why don't you ask the stock clerk to move, or better yet, why don't you say excuse me?!?!"
She stared at me, the stock clerk and the other customers in the aisle turned around to see, and she yelled out; "Move!"
I repeated that I couldn't move anywhere due to the amount of people in the aisle, and that if she rammed me with her cart again, she'd be very fucking sorry.
She clutched the handle of the cart and moved it back like she was getting ready to take aim at me again, and I turned around to fully face her, and said; "Don't. Even. Think. About. It."
Sebastian who always goes shopping with me and had seen her hit me, grabbed my arm and said; "Mom, is your back ok?"
I told him that no, it wasn't. She hit my tail bone. I felt the cart slam into my rods and screws, I felt it all the way up into my neck, but if this woman dares to try and hit me again, I'll ignore the pain I'm in just long enough to take her cart and shove it up her wrinkly ass.
Sebastian let go of me and backed up.
The old lady now had this look of horror on her face, and the stock clerk was trying to get his stuff out of the way to get out of the aisle.
The other customers started to back up and move out of the way as far as they could so I could pass through.
When there was enough room for me to move forward, I slowly turned back to face my own cart and then moved up the aisle.
The other customers just all stood staring at me and the old lady, waiting to see what was going to happen.
She came up the aisle, this look of superiority on her face, and as she passed me, she turned her cart into mine and pushed it, then kept moving up the entire aisle, not getting a single thing from the shelves at all.
She went up the entire aisle and turned to go down another.
She didn't even need anything in that aisle.
What the fuck?
I hate these people.
I hate these old, rotten, rude, assholish snowbirds who don't live here, but make the local people's lives a living hell from November to the end of April.
I cannot fucking wait till they all go back to wherever the fuck they came from, and the roads, the parking lots, and the stores, will once again be safe to be in or on.
They drive like they own the roads, no blinkers, they take up 3 parking spaces, they treat everyone they come in contact with like they are lower forms of life.
Hate.
Them.
I spent the rest of the time in the store in absolute agony.
That was only aisle 5, I had 15 more to go, a lot of groceries and other necessities to get before I could come home.
It took me over 10 minutes to check out, every register that was open, had huge long lines, they kept calling over the speakers for clerks to come bag and retrieve carts from the lot.
Normally, I can get in and out of the store in about an hour, today it took me nearly 2 hours to get everything I needed and get checked out.
I couldn't wait to get home.
I've been home since about 3pm, and my tail bone and lower back is on fire.
I've taken 3 pain pills and slapped on a lidocaine patch, and I am still in horrific pain.
When Mark was helping me put the patch on, he told me it was black and blue.
I turned to look at it in the mirror, and there was noticeable color change.
It hurts so freaking bad.
I swear, if she had hit my body again, I would have lost it on her.
I would have taken her cart and slammed it into her, and I don't know if I would have stopped.
It would have been self defense maybe.
Maybe temporary insanity, but she would have deserved it.
I am so sick of these people doing this shit.
I am so over them behaving like assholes in the store, taking things right out of people's hands, hitting people with the carts, being rude, never saying excuse me or thank you when someone does move out of their way.
I cannot wait till they all go home.
The end of April can't get here fast enough.
I'm trying really hard to get up and get going here, but I stayed up late, couldn't sleep, and then my neighbor needs help with computer stuff again.
Maybe I can charge for computer rental and printer ink?
She has all kinds of stuff she needs to print out for her lawyers and she's not so good with her pc, and personally, I think there's something seriously wrong with it.
It behaves weird.
I've tried fixing it, but I can't find the exact location of the problem, so she comes over here, we login to her email, print out her stuff, then she asks a million questions on 'how do I do' stuff.
I don't really mind, but I have things I have to do today.
I'm trying to gather all my coupons up for the grocery store, find the list I know I wrote out yesterday, and then I need to get in the shower which will help my back loosen up a bit more.
Then, I can go.
Hopefully.
And I seriously need to eat something.
My stomach is rumbling, and meds on an empty stomach is nausea in the making.
Ok, going to go eat, then shower, then attempt to get out of here and get my shopping done so I can come back and clean the house.
Later days!
I need to order new contacts, it's that time of year again, and I also need to get some cheap eyeglasses for days when my eyes are bothering me.
After last weeks episode with something in my eye, I know I need to get a pair of glasses to have on hand as a backup.
I used to have a pair, but I accidentally broke them about 3 years ago.
Strangely, I still have them in my jewelry box.
Can they be repaired?
Is that why I saved them?
Nope, I just felt really bad that I had spent over $300 on them, and they were broken.
I didn't want to throw away $300.
And seeing as I'm wide awake, I think I'll go take care of the contacts at least.
One of the things I do when I know I can't spend money, but really wish I could splurge, is to look at things I can only dream of owning.
Yes, I like to torture myself something fierce, but it also helps me set goals.
You can't buy nice things unless you earn it, work hard for it, save for it.
One of those things I have found myself repeatedly looking at and just imagining myself being able to afford something like it someday, is one of the Patek twenty-4 watches.
Have you ever seen them?
Click that link and check them out.
A-maz-ing.
Those are all ladies watches, and I like them all, but my favorite is this one.
I love it. Love it!
That's so beautiful, and who knows, maybe someday I'll be lucky enough to have earned myself something so nice.
I'm not a material person, but I do love nice things.
I don't have many nice things, but a girl can dream can't she?
How can you have a busy weekend at home?
By having a lot of work to catch up on, housework, and babysitting my niece on Sunday again so my sister can work.
Her and her husband are so busy working trying to catch up on house payments, car payments, daycare bills which are OMG crazy expensive, and then her husband needed some sort of truck accessories for his new truck, so that added to the bills they have.
My sister works her butt off, they both do, and it seems like they never get ahead, they just survive week to week like the rest of us.
I know so many people who are struggling in our current economy, it's awful. They say we're in a recession, or one is coming.
If it gets worse, I don't know how a lot of my friends and family will make it, myself included.
Things are just tight everywhere, and most people are trying to save as much money as they can right now in case things get even worse.
I'm going to the grocery store tomorrow, with coupons in hand, and a list that I'm sticking to.
I got my taxes back early, and I'm going to buy enough groceries to stock up the fridge and cupboards, and pay off a few bills, and then bank the rest.
There'll be no splurging, not right now anyway.
Today was one of those days where I spent almost the entire day, just lounging around on my furniture, watching tv shows, occasionally surfing the net, watching movie trailers etc.
I just felt super blah, bored, and didn't want to have to do anything.
I need to snap outta this funk that has taken over.
I'm not sure exactly what's going on, I do know I am having a bout of mild depression, but I need to get out of it.
I have things to do.
The teens are officially on spring break now, they don't go back to school until April 7th.
Oy.
It's going to be non-stop video gaming, sleeping in late, and eating me out of house and home.
I guess I can be glad my income taxes came back early so I can pay for all that food they are going to eat.
And speaking of food, I went to Blingo to look up Pizza Hut, and yes I know, it's just a .com, but I like winning stuff on Blingo, and I noticed this,
you can click for bigger.
See all that?
Sponsored listings.
Since when the hell did Blingo start doing that?
I hate sponsored listings.
I know they are owned by Google, so it was only a matter of time, but before if I went and typed in Pizza Hut or Papa Johns, their sites would be first, not some sponsored listing for Tampa Yellow Pages or Discount Pronto.
They are now using Yahoo, Windows live search, and Ask.com, to pull up search results, and they are pulling up ads first, not the real sites. [Found on Ads by Yahoo!]
That really sucks.
I prefer to find what I'm looking for first, not an ad, not the yellow pages, not a discount coupon place.
If I wanted the yellow pages, I would have looked in my phone book ya know?
Maybe I'm just in a bad mood, so I'll go now.
Later days.
I won Joana's re-draw contest for a Hello Kitty wallet!
I was needing a new wallet anyway, my Badtz Maru wallet I bought about 9 years ago, is looking a little worn.
It was black suede, but now it's worn out in many spots.
The zipper pull is completely broken off, and it's dirty and faded.
Being suede, I can't exactly wash it.
So thanks Joana, I will rock out with my new Hello Kitty wallet!
On the local forums today, I know, I talk about it a lot, but it's such a fun and entertaining time waster.
Anyway, a thread was started about skin whitening.
Now in itself, it's not that interesting, you think Micheal Jackson skin whitening, but this was about whitening a certain part of the body.
The thread was complete with a video with a Swedish woman slathering on the bleach, and explaining the process.
It was fascinating because it was just so unexpected, and like wow, what kind of woman allowed herself to be videotaped getting that bleached? /shock
Over dinner tonight, we watched Hitman.
It was good, based off the game of course, but it was action packed, violent, and had a decent story.
It certainly didn't hurt that the main character, the hitman, was kinda hot. Timothy Olyphant is much much hotter without hair.
Bald is hot, bald is good.
Blogasm went off a week or so ago, and the girls all stayed at some pretty nice hotels in Vegas, met each other, and had a great time according to some of the blogs I read.
I really would have loved to have been there and met some of the women I've been blogging friends with for quite a few years now.
It just wasn't in the financial cards for me this year.
I am hopeful that maybe next year I can afford to go, I deserve a vacation, and getting to go to Vegas and hang with some of the most rocking girl bloggers ever, would be my ideal vacation.
I hope it becomes an annual thing, so that if I can't do it next year, that I'll be able to eventually do it.
I work hard, I am doing everything that I can to improve my health situation, and would eventually love to go back to a real world job and be totally self sustaining again.
When that happens, I will take a trip to someplace I want to go, and hopefully, it will be a cool weekend with some cool chicks.
For his birthday.
In June.
He wants more video games, he wants a pc based game that all I have to do is pay for it, and then he can download it, he wants new shoes, some more surfer shorts, some more Billabong t-shirts, and all kinds of other stuff.
So I'm going through sites for Amazon coupons, and will be starting to add these things to my wishlist so that I don't forget what it is he wants between now and June.
He's getting to be that age where he's far more picky about what he wears.
His shirts have to be a brand name, with a logo or logo design on them.
Mark, he doesn't care.
He is totally happy with a 4 pack of Hanes, plain black, one pocket t-shirts, plain khaki shorts.
Why do they have to be so different when it comes to this stuff?
I miss the days of being able to just buy clothes with nothing on them, mix and match type stuff, easy stuff.
But that's what he likes, and it will be his birthday, so I'll start saving, looking for deals, and buy things slowly when I can get a deal or they are on sale.
DHL just got here with my new paypal card, the one that got canceled due to the Sweetbay fiasco, and it's activated and ready to go.
Now I have to go and fix the bills that had that debit card number, and switch them over to the new number.
I also cut up the old card into itty bitty pieces.
This does fall under product reviews, because the people who send in their testimonials to Wiley X, are real world users who encountered dangerous situations, and their sunglasses protected their eyes.
This had been discussed on the local forums, so I went to the site to read even more testimonials.
For an example,
it was thirteen 155 artilery rounds and 10 to 12 morders(250 pounds of raw explosives.) i was the gunner on the lead vehicle. 20 feet from the bomb . im getting to is the the goggles work they saved my left eye. thanks wiley x. i think all military should wears these goggles
Take a look at just one example of these glasses amazing eye protection.
I'm seriously impressed.
They don't break, shatter, or fall apart even under military fire.
Yes I know, I'm still up.
But that's ok, I will rest when my body says to.
Mark asked me today after school, that when I go shopping again, to please pick up some more acne treatment stuff.
He's down to only a little bit left in each bottle, and only has 3 face pads left.
He says he'll do the dishes and vac the rugs if I get him the stuff he needs.
Hey, who am I to argue with promises of housework getting done by someone else?
Tonight during dinner, we watched The Mist.
There was some popping of pimple-like things in this movie, and OMG, huge alien spider type things.
I can deal with all kinds of creatures, but not spiders.
And they weren't just any old spider, oh no, they had to be huge alien spiders.
The movie was good, the effects were a little lacking, and the ending was not what I was expecting.
I don't recall the short story ending that way, I'll have to go to the book and read it again.
But it was done very well.
I was quite happy when the Christian fanatic was shot.
Twice.
Bam! Bam! Buh-bye crazy lady!
I suppose I'll go surf around again, or find something else to do until I can fall asleep.
Later days.
when I get my taxes back, or the rebate check in May.
I'd like to get a new LCD TV.
Just a small one, I don't need or want a huge 65 inch flat panel movie theater size tv, just a nice small one with good picture.
My converter box would probably work a lot better with the right kind of tv, or, wouldn't be needed at all, and then I could put the converter box on the tv in the other room where the boys watch tv sometimes.
I want to buy one thing, but I know the majority of both checks will be paying off some of my debts.
I have hospital bills out the ying, and other debts out the yang.
I have years of debt to pay off, stuff from when I was married, stuff from when my identity was stolen, all kinds of debts, but one nice thing for the house would be cool.
The site I linked, has really good prices on them too.
I just hope those prices are still the same when I get my taxes back.
I may just have to treat us to that nice tv, and then pay off the debts.
Tomorrow after DHL gets here with my new paypal debit card, I have to activate it, then when I get paid, I need to call and pay my medicare part d bill, and the water bill.
I have some work I need to do, but I will get it all done, but before I can do any of that, I need to fix me.
I just had one of those days ya know?
And if you don't know, read the post below.
I am tired, semi-depressed, bored, uptight, and in serious need of a shower.
I think if I can get a shower, I'll feel a helluva lot better about myself.
I just feel out of sorts right now, my hair is a mess, and I need to take care of me.
I'm always telling others to take care themselves, and I blow right past my own needs.
So yes, I need to take care of me.
Shower, do my hair, that stuff.
I got a gift cert from a friend last week to Amazon, so I got the boys a new game they wanted, and then bought myself some flat iron hair stuff.
Protector and smoothing stuff.
I want to go play with it, and I will as soon as I'm done posting this.
I need some me time.
I got a call about an hour ago from the Maine AG.
The hearing is postponed, date unknown right now.
Not surprised.
His attorney asked for a new date.
She asked me for my 2007 taxes and some other stuff, so I got her email address and sent her everything she asked for, and probably a few things she didn't know about.
We talked about my income, I told her, adjusted gross on my taxes is especially pathetic, so she'll be able to see that when she opens the email.
It is what it is, can't really do much about it.
And that really bums me out.
I miss being able to work.
I miss it like you wouldn't believe.
If I was still able to work like I was before they told me to stop before I injured myself beyond medical repair, I wouldn't give two shits about the child support.
I lived and survived without it for many years because I could work.
I worked 12-16 hour days, I had money, I made good money, and then my back up and quit on me for good.
There are times, like now, when I get really depressed about it.
I'm not like crying all day and night depressed, but yeah, I am bummed out that I cannot support me and my kids the same way I used to.
It's not right, it's not fair, it fucking sucks, but there isn't anything I can do about it, and that makes it even worse.
It is completely out of my control.
100% complete disability, unable to perform gainful employment.
Those words that I fought for 5 years to hear, sting like molten steel sometimes.
I didn't want this, I just wanted my back to get fixed so I could keep working, but they kept saying no to the surgery, no to the surgeon who could do it.
It took fighting and phone calls, and attorneys, and letters, to get medical help, and then it was too late.
The damage was done, 100% complete disability, unable to perform gainful employment.
I busted my ass for years supporting my family on my own, busting my back to a state of disability, and for him to ask after all these years, to lower the child support, well, no, fuck you.
I don't care how many kids there are, that's not my problem.
My problem is the two I have here, the two I have taken care of day in and day out for the last 14 years on my own.
I'm tired of the excuses that there was no job, and all the other bullshit that has prevented my sons from getting a fair and decent amount of child support, I'm fucking over it.
I don't care that the business just started, needs time to grow, not my fucking problem.
I'm over the piddly amount that was court ordered 14 years ago. No one should have to deal with that amount all these years, and no, it's not me who ruined his relationship with his sons, it was him.
A slap to Sebastian's 2 year old face that left a bruise in the shape of a hand, and the very painful words said to a 9 year old Mark, "My band is more important than being a father right now".
You think those words and slap are forgotten?!
They aren't.
I fight for them.
I fight for them to have what they need and some of what they want.
I do everything in what little power I have left, to get for them.
To even ask to have to send less money to them, is just another slap in the face, it's just another string of painful words.
Keep postponing it, it doesn't matter.
Whenever it gets scheduled, I'll be available, and I'll keep fighting for them just like I have done for the last 14 years.
I may not be able to hold a job outside the home anymore, and the work I do now doesn't bring me much income, but I will keep doing everything I can so that they can have everything they need, so that they are happy, healthy, and grow up to know values, and morals, and ethics, and to keep fighting for what they want and what is right, and what they deserve.
I'll keep doing what I have to, even if more and more excuses get made and thrown.
They deserve better than that.
They deserve better than him.
I make some really awesome meatballs, and they are really hard to screw up, but even after telling my neighbor how to make them step by step, she messed hers up.
So I'm writing them down for her, which I had not done, just the verbal recipe and directions, and I figured I'd share it with you too.
What you need:
1- 80 count regular flavor frozen meatballs (Armour makes a great product)
1- 12 ounce jar of Concord Grape jelly
1- 18 ounce bottle of original flavor BBQ sauce
1- crockpot or as some people call them, slow cooker
A package of hoagie rolls is optional, we usually just eat them out of a bowl, or get toothpicks and serve them as hors d' oeuvres at a party.
Cheese slices on the hoagies is also optional.
Take the jar of jelly and dump it in the pot, dump in the BBQ sauce and stir the two together, breaking any big clumps of jelly.
Add in the frozen meatballs, and stir them gently to coat with the sauce.
Set your crockpot on low for 6 hours.
Stir gently once an hour during the 6 hours.
Done!
Most people will tell you to not open and stir the contents of your crockpot during cooking, because it lets out the heat.
But with this jelly/BBQ sauce mixture, if you don't stir them at least once every hour to an hour and a half, the meatballs will A) not get all saucy, and B) the meatballs on the bottom will burn.
That's what happened with my neighbors meatballs.
All of the ones on the bottom burned, along with most of the sauce from the bottom, and this gave the flavor a really nasty aftertaste.
Mark and Sebastian can eat these like they've never eaten anything in their whole lives.
They go from making a hoagie, to just grabbing a bowl full of them until the pot is empty.
I try to get in there and get myself some, and set aside a bunch for some leftovers, but I have to do it quickly or the bottomless pit teens will devour them all.
Do you have an awesome and easy meatball recipe?
Post it on your blog or tell me it in my comments.
I'm always up for new and tasty recipes!
When I went to Publix the other day, they were out of the chicken club paninis that I liked, so I decided to try the same flavor in the Flatbread Melts.
Bad mistake.
The flatbread melts are quite nasty.
The bread does NOT do well being microwaved like it says you're supposed to.
It gets gummy, like super chewy, and it has a gross taste to it.
The contents, the chicken, tomatoes, cheese and ranch sauce were fine, so I lightly toasted a slice of regular bread, and scraped the contents off the flatbread, and onto the toast, and folded it over, and ate it like that.
Next time, if they are out of the paninis, I'll buy something else.
The Flatbread Melts from Lean Cuisine, get a huge thumbs down.
Gag.
I woke up at 5:45am to get the teens off to school, then I went back to bed for a little bit more sleep, and when I woke up the second time, I thought it was Saturday.
I really did.
I came out of my room, expecting to find Mark still sleeping, and Sebastian already awake and playing video games.
I even had plans for "today", I was going to take the boys to the movies, to either see Shutter or 10,000 B.C.
The teens want to see the latter, and of course, I want to see the scary one.
But it turns out it's only Tuesday.
*sigh*
The teens are at school, it really is Tuesday, not Saturday.
Bummer.
After I finish my breakfast, I'll be hopping on my elliptical for 20 minutes, and then I'll get cracking on the housework I didn't do all weekend.
But I wanted to leave you with this video about "B.C." tours through a natural history museum.
The B.C. stands for biblically correct.
It absolutely blows my mind.
Radiometric dating is completely ignored, they claim that the T-Rex, with his claws and giant teeth, was actually a fruit and leaf eater, and only started killing other animals for meat after Eve ate the forbidden fruit.
At 7:29, at least they admit that there are several problems for the creationists.
This type of stuff makes me feel so sad for these children.
They are all home schooled, they are only taught what their parents and churches want them to know, and the facts about evolution are completely ignored.
They call the dioramas of how some dinosaurs lived, "artwork", not science.
It kills me when the tour guide says to the kids, "It's a great fairy tale, but it's not good science."
Really? All those bones are just a fairy tale, yet they have absolutely nothing to show the proof for their theory of creationism.
Baffling.
All the various meds I take, can have some weird effects on me.
Some of them cause me to pass out and wake up confused, some cause me to be unable to sleep and very anxious, and some cause hallucinations, tension, stress, mood swings etc etc.
Well I took one of my pain pills about 3 hours ago, I was doing fine, the pain has totally relaxed away, and you could say that I am too.
Seeing as how I had barely eaten over the weekend, and no, I did not eat that devil made muffin, but I decided to have small bowl of ice cream, 2 tiny scoops in my tiny ice cream bowls.
It's vanilla with fudge swirls.
It was yummy.
And then just a few minutes ago, I was sitting here to do some things I've not been able to do for the last few days, I started getting hot flashes, dizzy, oh no, please not that.
I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, but no, the feeling just kept coming.
So I carefully made my way to the bathroom, and no sooner did I get the lid lifted, did the vomit come spraying out.
Now vomit is usually painful, burning your throat and nose, but not ice cream.
No, ice cream on it's way out, is like a McDonald's chocolate milkshake, slightly warmed up.
It was actually, sorta pleasant.
I spent most of the weekend dealing with pain issues due to the weather, but today the sun is shining, and my body feels good.
The teens went off to school, I sat and chatted with a neighbor out on their lanai for awhile in the cool breeze, took a walk up to the store to get my much needed money out of the ATM so I can pay a bill that I only pay in cash, and came back.
I'm just sitting here chilling for a few before I go help another neighbor with her computer.
She's such a sweet lady, but she has absolutely no idea how to make things work right.
One of the things I really like about Amscot, is that even though they say that money transfers will take 3-4 business days, it's usually a whole lot faster than that.
I transferred the money out of my paypal account on Friday morning, around 11am-ish, and wasn't expecting to be able to access it until at least Tuesday or Wednesday, but I woke up this morning to see it there.
I do need to call them or go in to talk with them about my card though.
It expires in a few months, so I need to find out if I'll just be sent a new one, or if I'll need to apply for one again.
I just have no idea how that works with them.
After the boys get home, I need to go to the grocery store and pick up some stuff we need, and then I can relax for the rest of the day.
But today has been a good day so far.
I'm not in any intolerable pain like I was this weekend, I feel good, and things are just going good for me.
I do have a lot of things I have to do, the house is a tad on the messy side, but I'm just not going to worry about it right this minute.
I'm having a good day, and cleaning would totally ruin that for me. Hahaha
I sent my Netflix movies back and need to go set up my queue for my next two movies, but their site is under maintenance right now.
Bugger.
I hate it when I forget to check my queue, and then I end up with a movie I didn't want right now.
I know they are all in my queue because I put them there, but there are certain ones I want first.
I'm totally anal like that.
Anyway, I guess I blathered on for long enough, I hope you are all having a good Monday too, or if it sucks, I hope it turns around for you.
Later days!
Oh! Before I forget, I lost another 2 pounds!
I absolutely love love LOVE, my NordicTrack elliptical!
On painful days like this weekend, I didn't get on it at all, but on most days even when I have a little pain, I hop on and do as much time as I can.
After I got back from my walk, I was feeling really pumped, so I hopped on and did 20 minutes.
Then just for giggles, I stepped on my scale.
I'm really trying hard not to obsess over the numbers, but it's an awesome feeling seeing them go down.
I'm now down to 182.5.
Not bad, not bad at all.
The teens went and spent last night and most of today at my sisters house, helped her hide eggs for the nieces, play with them etc.
They had fun, got to play WoW, and had McDonald's.
On Friday though, we watched Beowulf.
It was really good, at times, you forget it's a cartoon.
I watched it again last night during one of my couldn't sleep periods.
I slept off and on last night, and today, and now I probably won't be able to sleep tonight.
I found it interesting that neither son had even heard of the story before.
Back in 8th grade, we covered all of the classic stories like this one, Romeo and Juliet, Othello, and Hamlet.
Here's my kids, a freshman and a junior in high school, and they haven't read any of these stories yet.
They don't even know if they will be covering these.
At some point, I'll blog about the latest school budget cuts.
It's a lot to take in, but I do know they are planning on cutting out coaches, some of the arts programs, and other stuff.
The county is having major budget issues, and they are taking the money from the schools again.
Sebastian just came home from being out with a friend and his friend's mom, and he brought me McDonald's.
A cheeseburger and a chocolate shake.
Yum.
Off to eat and see what's on tv.
Later days.
It's been raining all day, so my back is just tight and twisted, painful.
We watched my niece Susan for most of the day, and now the tees are gone back to my sisters house, so I'm going to take full advantage of the silence, and just sleep through the weather.
If the comments end up disappearing later on, you can thank the spammers who are out in force.
They always are on the holidays.
They think the blog owners are not around, so they just spam spam spam.
I threw some chicken legs on a cookie sheet, baking them, will throw some BBQ sauce on them when they are nearly done.
On a second cookie sheet, french fries.
Easy eat with your hands food tonight.
I'm tired and can only see out of one eye still.
Not interested in complicated recipes tonight.
I don't know what I did to it, but I hurt my poor left eyeball.
I don't know if something got caught under a contact lens and I scratched it when removing the lens, or if I'm coming down with pink eye.
But god damn, it fucking hurts!
It's bright red, I've rinsed it out, tried soothing it with eye drops, kept it closed for an hour, tried blinking to get out whatever may be caught in it, but nada, it's so painful right now.
It feels like something is caught in it, but I cannot get it out.
I bet I scratched it when I first felt something under my lens, and then when sliding my lens out, scratched my cornea.
Oh it burns.
Oh lordy! It burns.
"Dear Customer:
Sweetbay Supermarket has contained a data intrusion into its computer network that resulted in the theft of customer credit and debit card numbers. No personal information, such as names or addresses, was accessed. Sweetbay Supermarket doesn't collect, know or keep any personally identifiable customer information from transactions.
We sincerely regret this intrusion into our systems, which we believe, is among the strongest in the industry. The stolen data was limited to credit and debit card numbers and expiration dates, and was illegally accessed from our computer systems during transmission of card authorization.
The intrusion affected Sweetbay stores in Florida, Hannaford stores in the Northeast, US and certain independently owned retail locations in the Northeast that carry Hannaford products."
I haven't even shopped at Sweetbay in like a year, and 2 of my Mastercard debit cards have been canceled.
That's right, 2.
See, Mastercard feels that if an intrusion like this happened once, they believe it might have happened before this, so they are just shutting down the CC/debit cads of people who have shopped at a Sweetbay or a Hannaford in the last year.
This sucks.
I have absolutely no way to access any of my money until new cards are issued.
My paypal debit card, canceled, I might receive a new one by Wednesday.
My other card is a CS card that I didn't even want, and I might get that replacement card by Friday of next week.
I transferred my entire balance from my paypal account to my Amscot card, but that takes 2-4 business days to complete.
That's just great huh?
So anyway, I called Sweetbay customer service to thank them for their outstanding care of their customers information. /sarcasm
I was polite, I was nice, until the smart-mouthed customer service rep on the line said the following to me; "Well it's not just you who has been inconvenienced. I have a car payment due, and a student loan payment, and bills of my own to make, and there's nothing I can do about it.You're not the only one."
Excuse me? Did she really just say that to me?!
I've worked in customer service for 18 years, you are in no way ever, supposed to get personal or rude, with any customer who calls in with any kind of complaint.
And so yes, after she said that, I went off.
I told her, "People have bills to pay, they have things to do, and because of the very serious breach in security at Sweetbay, Mastercard is taking drastic measures.
It's not just an inconvenience, it's a disaster.
New cards are being issued, money is tied up in limbo until transfers to other accounts can finish in business days or new cards are received by mail.
This isn't a laughing matter, it's a serious problem, and as someone who has worked in customer service for many years, I can tell you that speaking to customers this way, is not acceptable at all. You are never to get personal with a customer, you are never to get rude, you are never to say anything that will make the customer any angrier than they already are. Your job is to calm them down, apologize for the problem, confirm for them that your company is doing everything they can to make sure this never happens again.
I hope this phone call has been recorded so your supervisors can fire you when they hear how you just spoke to a customer. I didn't call this number to ask you about your financial problems, I called to tell you what your companies security breach has done to mine, and to inform you that because of this, I will never shop at another Sweetbay ever again. And because of how you just spoke to me, I can guarantee that I will never spend another freaking dime at any of your stores ever ever again."
She sputtered a few worthless apologies, but I hung up.
I was fuming mad at this point.
But here's the deal folks, if you have used your paypal debit or credit card at any Sweetbay in Florida or Hannaford in the Northeast, or any Mastercard for that matter, you might want to call your card issuer and find out if your card has been canceled.
I had no idea, I had not received any emails from paypal about my card being canceled, nor from my CS card issuers, but they are indeed canceled, and now I have to wait for new ones.
You might want to check yours.
I'm telling ya', they should just hire me to forecast the weather.
I was fine this morning, slightly stiff upon waking, then I walked to the store and it was bright, warm, and sunny, and when I got home and sat for a bit, I started to get the icy rods chill effect in my back.
I'm absolutely freezing to death, and it's not cold in here at all.
This tells me that cold and rainy weather is on the way, and wouldn't you know it, it is according to the local weather people who just sent me this email; Skies will continue to clear from north to south as a cold front stalls to our south. A few stray rain showers are possible tonight, especially for southern locations. Drier air will help temperatures cool into the middle 40s north of the Bay, low 50s inland, and middle 50s along the coast.
This chill effect has also caused my muscles to stiffen up even more than they were upon waking, so I took a soma.
I know, not a smart move because it's early, and they put me to sleep.
But I'm attempting to bypass it by ingesting large amounts of caffeine.
I'm hoping this will work, or else I'll just be passed out and when I wake, I'll be peeing like a racehorse on lacex.
I'm sure if I kept taking the somas as the doc ordered, I'd build up a tolerance to it and not fall asleep anymore, but 2 of them 3 times a day? I'll be just sleeping straight through until I build up that tolerance.
That's no fun.
But seriously, the chill effect plus the tightening effect, is no fun.
All I want to do is curl up in a blanket and use my heating pad to attempt to warm up, but I know that won't work.
The cold rod feeling does not go away until the bad weather passes.
But I can curl up with a blanket later on and watch Beowulf .
I've heard it's good, long, but good, so I'll watch it.
If it's boring, the somas will win out and I'll be sleeping halfway through the movie.
I've been wearing flip flops for months now, well more like almost every day for almost a year, and I've been wanting to get some new shoes, but I can't find anything I like.
I'm very picky about shoes.
No, I'm not one of those women who has to have Jimmy Chus or whatever they are called, but I like some nice comfy and good looking shoes.
I spent some time today looking at Naot shoes, and saw a few pair that I liked, but Id need to try them on first before buying them.
I'm gonna have to see if there are any local retailers so I can try them on.
I need to get my body un-stiff, and get off to the store.
I have to pick up a few things I forgot, and a few things the bagger at Publix forgot to put in my bags.
I hate that.
I don't buy groceries so the bagger can forget to put them in the bag.
2 packages of shredded cheddar, and a 4 pack of tuna.
They are on my receipt, but not in my fridge and cupboards.
I wish I had noticed it on Saturday when I actually went shopping, but I didn't notice till last night when I had the enchiladas already rolled and in the pan, and went to grab the cheese.
Oh well.
Mark is a funny kid. He's always bringing pens home for me that he finds at school. He knows I like a really nice pen to write with, the heavier the better.
But yesterday he came home with a bunch of marketing pens from a local retailer.
How many is a bunch?
15.
They aren't bad pens, they write good, but just not heavy enough for my hand.
And how he got them all, I have no idea.
I like the pen he brought home the other day though.
It's this wicked heavy silver pen, octagon shape, and it has a heavy ink.
It's way nice.
Me likey.
I got Rick rolled this morning.
You know what Rick rolling is?
It's this really stupid internet fad where someone posts a link, and says it's one thing, but it's usually the youtube video for Rick Astley's never gonna give you up.
So anyway, they posted a link, said it was a list, and it was the Rick Astley video, but the browser window, was flying all over the place. You couldn't close it down.
I had to ctrl + alt + dlete, to end it.
I have never found the funny with the whole Rick rolling thing at all.
It's really stupid actually.
While we ate our dinner, we watched I Am Legend, and I was taking note of all the stores he had access to, all the food and weapons he had stockpiled, and me being a girl, I know I would have been taking some of that free wholesale fashion jewelry that was in some of those stores.
I would have the vehicle of my dreams, a kickin' house like his, and I would have just stayed inside with my movies, food, clothes and pets, and lotsa shiny playthings, until I absolutely needed to go get more supplies.
I mean, why risk it?!
Ok sure, there was a safe colony, but eventually someone would have found the cure, and if you could just hang out long enough, getting supplies as you needed, or making a daily run for stuff keeping an eye on the sun the whole time, you could totally live that way for awhile.
So yeah, maybe it would get a little lonely, but I prefer being alone.
Plus, I would have had movies to watch.
Hell, taking over a movie theater would have been a pretty cool idea now that I think about it, or maybe just go live in a grocery store.
Setup house there.
You know you all need to have a ZCP (zombie contingency plan) right?
Right?!
I've been working on ours for awhile, and I think we've got it pretty good.
The hardest part for us would be staying quiet when the beastly things come out at night.
Teens can't stop fighting for more than 5 minutes these days.
But there's always Nyquil or sleeping pills.
I can't believe what time it is, it certainly doesn't feel like it's almost 5:30pm, and I've not accomplished much at all.
I did get those taxes done though, made some calls I needed to, and now i need to go start dinner.
Having enchiladas again.
The teens ask for the same 3 foods most often.
Spaghetti, enchiladas, and chicken legs.
I'd rather have the chicken legs tonight, a lot easier to prepare, but eh, whatever.
Then we're going to watch I am Legend while we eat.
It'll be a nice break from video game playing for sure.
It's been nothing but gunfire and bombing since 2:40pm.
Oy, my head.
My taxes that is.
I should have done it earlier, but I just kept putting it off, then in today's mail, I got the kick I needed to just do them.
But now that they are done, I'm happy to say that I'll be getting a return and I qualify for the rebates that come out in May.
Maybe then I can afford some more imprinted promotional products to hand out when I meet people.
Maybe I'll explain the kick I got later on.
It's not a big deal, but boy, they are so barking up the wrong tree here.
It's kind of comical actually.
Well I won't be going on any luxury vacations for a long while.
I won't be going on any vacations for awhile.
I just get caught up and slightly ahead on my bills, and something big breaks, like the lawn mower.
But I finally replaced the charcoal exploded lawn mower on Sunday.
Wanna see the one that got blown up?
I kept it in the shed until I could get another one, so the explosion holes are rusted around the edges now from the weather, but just check out what happens when you run a lawn mower over charcoal briquet's that have the lighter fluid already in them.
It blew a massive hole in the side, and it's no longer connected to the rest of it here.
It blew the handle completely off on the left side, it's no longer connected there either.
The back piece where it faces you, this is where sparks were flying out and hit Mark in the face.
He's lucky he didn't get hit in the eyes.
The front of the mower where it got ripped open and sparks were flying out.
I was going to go to the dreaded Walmart to get another one on Sunday, they were cheaper than even Home Depot. They had a mower for $138.99, but one of my neighbors said they had a friend with a mower for $75.00, so I went and took a look at it.
It was a brand new mower that they had sitting in their shed since they bought a riding mower.
They replaced the fuel hose because it had dry rot from just sitting for the last 4 months, but other than that, it was like new, no rust or dull blades or anything, so I bought it.
Mark mowed the lawn Monday after school, and it worked great.
Now I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that nothing else breaks and needs replacing.
When the teens were little and into all the Disney movies, I would go to the video rental store, and ask them for the original movie posters and cardboard stand ups they used for displays.
Most of the time, they'd say yes, write my name on the back of it, and when they were done with it, they'd call me up and tell me to come get it, or hold it until the next time I came in.
Most of the time I'd be there before they called, I have always been a big movie renter.
But anyway, I'd take the posters and buy some cheap frames, and hang them up all over the boy's room and along the hallways, the bathroom, and even some in the living room.
I'd often get my name written on the backs of the posters from movies I wanted as well, like this one.
I wish I had saved all of those, but when I moved here I sold almost everything I owned at the yard sale of spectacular deals.
Seriously, I sold off my entire Stephen King book collection, for like $5, my foldout couch with an awesome mattress for $10, a 27" really nice tv for $15, my dinette set with table and 8 matching chairs for $20, all my kitchen stuff like blender, matching pots and pan set for about a buck a pan.
I had to sell everything that I wasn't taking with me because I needed the money.
But if I had saved all those posters, they'd be worth some serious bucks.
I can't believe how much the original posters are selling for these days.
I had the one I linked above and pictured to the left, got it free from the video store, and look at how much it's worth
Sometimes, I make really stupid choices.
D'oh!
Every year, my Mom sends me a box full of stuff for Easter, and inside are the worlds most yummiest things.
It actually came yesterday, but I was too sick to indulge in it's contents.
Oooooh, see that box inside the bigger box?
Do you know what's inside?!
That would be my Mom's famous home made peanut butter eggs.
Then she filled the rest with yummy candy, and some Slim Jim beef jerkies for the teens.
Thanks Mom!
As soon as the teens saw the box of peanut butter eggs, they screamed out "Yeusss!"
These eggs are legendary I tell ya, even Shell has partaken of their yummy goodness.
Of course, I didn't get any of the blueberry muffins, my favorite, but I'll just have to fly home again at some point to get some.
This time though, I'll be getting some better tsa locks for my suitcases.
I'm tired of the scum baggage checkers stealing my stuff.
I know the last time I went up, that I packed 3 things of blueberry muffins in my suitcase, and when I got home, one was definitely missing, and my stuff had been rummaged through.
I hate that.
It's like you have to write a detailed list of everything that is in your suitcase, copy it, and leave one list in the suitcase, and keep one with you.
On the note at the bottom, write something like "I will be checking this bag before leaving the airport, if any of the items on this list is missing, I'll know and report it".
Sorry I've been MIA, but between my neck and my stomach, I have been down for the count.
I hate being sick, omg hate being sick, but I think I have a handle on it now.
I think.
I have quite a few emails to answer still, sorry if you've been waiting for a reply, but I do want to say that if you are earning money, then yes, you need to be doing some financial reporting to whoever it is you're trying to avoid reporting it to.
I am not the government or the IRS, but damn, some people are doing some shady things to avoid reporting their incomes.
I don't know why people come to me with those questions, but really, if there's money coming in, it has to be reported.
I report my income to the proper people, I don't hide it nor do I try to.
But why people ask me, I will never know.
But in home life, the boys are doing fine, I'm getting better.
My neck finally stopped hurting, and then I got some sort of stomach bug or something that knocked me down.
Yay!
Thank the makers of pepto bismol for the magic pink goo.
Without it, I think I may have died.
Tonight will be the first time since Sunday night that I will be eating anything.
The smell of food has been making me nauseous.
But I made meatballs for meatball subs today.
Slow cooked them in grape jelly and BBQ sauce all day long, and the smell didn't kill me, so that's a good sign.
I have a mountain of both laundry and dishes to tackle.
Ugh.
The boys did help, they did what they could, but I think they mostly just tried to stay out of my way and stay quiet.
Ok, off to start on the mountains of housework.
Later days.
I didn't get on and blog yesterday, sorry about that.
But my neck is just messed up, I can't get it to loosen up at all, and turning it in any direction is some serious pain.
I'll be back, off and on, but I really just need to rest today.
I did too much yesterday and I'm totally paying for it now.
First, when I was getting dressed after my shower, I can't explain how I did it, nor will I probably be able to ever do it again, but I injured myself.
Somehow, when putting my head through the neck hole of my t-shirt, I wrenched my neck.
Mark even heard the noise and came running to the bathroom door, thinking I had either fallen or dropped something.
Yes, the snapping noise coming from my neck was so loud, it was heard through the bathroom door.
I have been in agony all day because of course, I can't get it to wrench back the way it came.
I didn't save as much money as I wanted to at the store, Publix wasn't having a huge sale this week, but I didn't do too badly either.
Starting total before coupons and in store deals was $193.87.
Coupons and discounts applied = $53.79.
For a total having to pay of $140.08.
It's not too bad, but not my best either.
I had a lot of coupons for items I wanted to buy, but only if they were on sale.
I had wanted to buy and try one of those Febreze Noticeables air fresheners.
I had a coupon for $5 off the starter kit, but it was $8.99, and only comes with 2 scents in the starter kit.
2 scents I absolutely cannot be around unless I want to have a splitting migraine and be coughing all day long, vanilla and lavender.
I thought that perhaps I could buy a refill kit in different scents and dump the 2 offending scent bottles, I had a $1 off coupon on one of those, but they were $4.99.
Even with the coupons applied, I would have spent $7.98 + tax on a single non-essential item, plus I would have had to physically touch the vanilla and lavender fragrance bottles which would have caused me to be ill for the rest of the day.
Totally not worth it in my opinion. Hey Febreze! How about making starter kits in other scents huh?
Not everyone in the world likes vanilla and lavender, just a suggestion.
I did get a really good deal on a new Venus Embrace razor.
My Mom is always sending me coupons, and she had sent me one for $2.00 off.
The whole razor kit, new razor, shower caddy, and extra blades, was on sale for $5.99, marked down from $8.99, so that was a really good deal in my opinion.
Then I needed to pick up a sympathy card for my Mom's Uncle Bill's wife and family.
This is quite the challenge as an atheist.
Everything is about the spirit, and being at peace now, and being in the loving arms of their father.
While I know his family are believers, it's hypocritical of me to buy a religious card, when I am not religious.
No the card isn't for me, it's for them, but sending a card with that theme, leads people to assume I am religious as well.
This is also why it takes me weeks, sometimes months, to find cards to send at Christmas.
After digging around in the entire card aisle for nearly 30 minutes, I finally found a nice sympathy card that made no mention of any religious type things at all.
I was surprised I found one, but really, there should be more cards that are not religiously themed.
Just a few of the nice words it said; "but at this sad time, may it bring you some peace and comfort, to know that caring thoughts are with you every day".
If there are any greeting card companies or employees of one, out there reading this, you really should start a new product line for atheists.
We are out here, there are a lot more of us than you know, and we have money to spend on cards for every single type of holiday or need that you can imagine. *hint hint*
I've slowly been picking up around the house, taking some care not to aggravate my neck any further, because my niece Skye is coming to spend the day with Sebastian and I tomorrow.
I'll vacuum in the morning, I'll let my Roomba run while she's here, she finds it fascinating, and also do the dishes off and on.
I tried to do some today, but standing over the sink looking down at the dishes was just painful.
I've taken a soma, and I'm hoping between my pain meds and the soma, by morning the neck pain will be gone.
Mark will be going with my sis to where she works, because the woman my sister works for has hired Mark for the day to do some odds and ends types of chores.
Some bush trimming, some weeding, some window washing, stuff like that.
Instead of hiring a gardener, she decided to put a 16 year old who needs a job to work.
We all need to get to bed fairly soon, it's going to be a long day for all of us, but no one is tired.
That's the hard part.
Everyone is wound up and anticipating tomorrow, so no one is sleepy.
So once again, I will attempt to reply to emails, maybe write my reviews of No Country for Old Men and American Gangster.
Both excellent films, but AG ran a little too long I think.
I try not to take the Somas because when I wake up, I am confused and don't know where I am.
Well it was raining for several hours last night, coming down pretty hard, and my back would just not loosen up.
So I took one around 8pm, and finally went to bed around 2:30am.
When I woke up this morning, I was really lost, or so I thought.
I woke up not knowing where I was, and when I realized I was home, I didn't know if the teens were home, what day it was, and I came flying out of my bedroom and scrambled from room to room to find them.
Sebastian was up and playing on his computer, and mark was still asleep.
But I hate that.
I just really hate that about that pill.
They work really well, but damn, why do they make you as confused as an Alzheimer patient?
I need to take a shower and go do more grocery shopping. The other day was just the odds and ends, household stuff, a small bit of food, today is the big food shopping with multiple coupons.
Always trying to save money ya know.
I wanted to share a pic with you, and seeing as today is Caturday, Christine declared it so, here's the cutest and funniest pic of Kali and Shahiro napping together.
Kali is one of those cats that likes to sleep on her back, all sprawled out, legs opened wide, and she can get in this position just about anywhere she feels it looks like a good napping spot.
Well, Shahiro thought between Kali's open legs looked like a good napping spot, so that's how they slept.
I walked in and found them like that, and just started laughing.
They didn't even flinch when the flash went off, so it must have been the perfect, and most comfy spot ever.
I suppose I should get in that shower now that half the day is wasted.
Later days!
About 3 weeks ago, I made a pot of spaghetti, and I placed the left overs in a bowl, and placed it in the fridge.
Well I forgot about it, the bowl got buried behind boxes of cereal, chips, soda, all kinds of new food items.
I was cleaning out the fridge tonight, because I'm doing the major grocery shopping in the morning, and that's when I found the bowl.
I didn't quite remember what was in it, but as soon as i got the lid off, I knew, Oh yes, I knew.
And I almost threw up on top of the green and white growing mold.
I'm holding off on cleaning it out till the morning, my stomach was doing back flips tonight.
I'll have to pin clothes my nose, get a super long spoon, and a bag that can be tied to dump it all in.
I would toss the whole bowl, but I love that bowl.
No Country was phenomenal. Loved it.
Violent, bloody, and Javier Bardem is one creepy mother fucker.
Nice cattle killer as a weapon dude.
*shudder*
I'll review it in detail later, as usual. Ha!
I can't wait to watch the next one, friends have said it was really good.
I'm just waiting for Mark to get finished playing Phantasy Star Universe.
He's in a match, so if I make him turn it off, his dude will be dead.
While I was typing, he finished, so I'm off.
Later days!
The school that is.
Today was supposed to be another half day, and what time is it, and where are my sons?
Not here, and when I called the school, they said the students were being held for the full day, the principal thought it was best, sorry they didn't notify the parents.
That's it, sorry.
Grrr.
I went up to the corner store this morning, and spent some time chatting with the store owner about the crazies in our neighborhood. The crazy lady who flipped out on me over some plastic light sabers 2 years ago, went in his store, and was flipping out on him because he has a guard dog in a fenced in area in the back.
She said having it caged up like that was abusive, and she heard that he beat his dog to make it meaner.
He asked me if I knew her, and I relayed the light saber story.
He said she told him she worked for animal control, and she was going to get his dog taken away from him.
I've seen him with his dog, he does not abuse it at all.
That dog is protective and loving to his family, but strangers who get too close to the fence, yeah, he barks and growls like he's supposed to do.
The lady is freaking nuts.
Then we talked about the crazy French lady who wears a winter hat and gloves in the middle of summer, and how she steals from stores.
He was pissed at her because she knocked over a bottle of wine, and when he went to get the mop to clean it up, she swiped another bottle and left the store.
He knows she did because he has security cameras, and it caught the whole thing on tape.
I told him, yeah, she's been baned from Sweetbay, Publix, and 7-eleven, and the previous owner of his store, Pete, banned her for the same stuff as well.
He (new owner) was worried about baning her because he's the new store on the block, and doesn't want to get a bad rep.
I'm all man, every store around here has banner her, trust me, nobody would blink if you said she was banned, they all know her very well.
He said thanks, that was good to know, and I got my purchases and came home.
Now I'm just waiting for the teens to get home, and whether or not it's going to rain.
I can feel it, felt it last night, and the sky just got a little darker.
Hopefully it won't downpour until after the boys get home.
I wanted to give you all an update on the child support hearing and stuff.
It looks like I won't be needed to fly back.
The attorney general made arrangements for me to appear by telephone on April 8th, at 8:30am.
*phew*
But it would have been ok with me to have to go. Yes I would have had to come up with the airplane ticket price, but I would have enjoyed being there in person with all my documentation tucked away in my Johnston and Murphy like briefcase, and present my evidence of his business ownership, and request that the support be modified above an imputed minimum wage.
So April 8th people, that will be the day we get to find out whether or not he's got the business in someone else name, has been avoiding paying taxes, both personal and business, and oh please oh please oh please, let the judge who divorced us, still be alive and sitting at the bench.
He was an ornery man, and didn't want to hear no bull, no excuses, and bam! Custody of the minor children to the mother.
I never made it to do all my errands today, I'm lucky I got to go to the grocery store.
The kids were supposed to be let out of school and early, and that didn't happen, so all my errand running got pushed back by several hours.
I'll attempt the rest of them again tomorrow.
And man, I don't know what happened, but I was sitting here about an hour ago, and all of a sudden, I had the biggest migraine attack out of nowhere.
It just hit and nearly knocked me out of my chair.
The light hurt, the noises hurt, I had to wobble to my bedroom and lay down in the dark after taking one of my migraine meds.
I just laid there curled in a ball, petting the kitties until it went away.
It's mostly gone now, just a dull ache is left, but so glad the meanest part is over.
I have so many emails and stuff to catch up on, but LOST is coming on. gah!
I will try to answer emails during commercials ok?
Cool.
Later days.
This week was FCAT testing at school, and today and tomorrow are half days.
Tomorrow they have the NRT (Norm Referenced Tests), which determine if students move to the next grade level.
The teens should be home pretty soon, and then we need to go grocery shopping and stuff.
I really feel like sometimes, I need to wear my back brace again.
I have caught myself sitting hunched over my keyboard a few times, and then wonder why later in the day my back is hurting so much.
I need to keep my back against the chair back, and my feet up.
This is the best position for me to sit in at the computer for so many hours.
Oh, and with a bit of antenna tweaking, the converter box is working much, much better.
I filled out the stuff over at antenna web, and they have this handy dandy street level map, which tells you which way you should face your antenna to get in all the digital signals.
Once I messed around with that and the antenna, it's working a whole lot better.
The wind blowing still does have an effect, and certain channels need to have the antenna direction switched to make them come in, like the higher up numbers, but for the most part, I think I got it now.
the Sue who sent me an email last night, thank you.
I'm not sure who you are because it didn't provide me with that information to email you back, but I wanted to say thanks.
And I feel terrible that I don't know, but there a couple of "Sue's" who leave comments and email from time to time.
I'm on it!
Sebastian came home from school yesterday with a permission slip for the Sarasota Film Festival in April, and another form asking for parents to chaperon.
I signed his slip and gladly filled out to go help.
It's an all day trip to the film festival, we get in free, we get to be there during the interviews with directors and actors, take pics, see a film and more, according to the permission slip.
He came home today and said I was the only parent who returned the paper to chaperon.
All the parents signed the slip, but none wanted to go help.
I am loving the idea of going!
Why wouldn't someone want to go hang out at the film festival all day?
Is it because you'd be with students?
They are all freshman and I think, 1 senior, I will only be in charge of 5 kids.
Piece of cake.
It's going to be really interesting I think.
I've been wanting to go to it for a few years now.
I went and got the converter box at the evil Walmart, and I'm quite glad I only had to pay $9.87 + tax.
I'll explain that, but first let me tell you about the fabulous customer service at Walmart. /sarcasm
Again.
I run in, find it in the electronics department where nobody is working, or if they were, they were not where any customer could possibly find them.
I make my way to the register, I have exactly 2 items, the converter box and a soda.
The cashier scans the box and the soda, and I hand her the coupon card, it's not a paper coupon, it looks like a credit or debit card, so of course, the cashier is absolutely baffled as to how to apply it.
She turns on her register light for a manager.
This register that I'm at is right next to the service desk and the manager podium.
The manager is at the podium, it's about 5 feet away from this register.
He looks up at her, down at his employee schedule for the day, and asks her if she wants her break.
She says no, so then he says, "Turn your light back on then."
Uh...
I said to him, "She needs help applying the converter box coupon please".
He looks up again, she shows him the card, he says "I don't know how to use that", and looks back down at his papers.
Uh.....
So I said, "Sir, it's the converter box coupon program, but it's not a paper coupon with a code, it has a scan bar, like a credit card. If you don't know how to apply it, can you please find someone who does know?"
He stares at me, and just then another manager walks up to the podium, and he mumbles converter box coupon, help, apply, and she comes over, looks at it, and says, "I have no idea".
Uh....
So I said,"It is like a debit card, so maybe she should hit debit, swipe it, and hit enter?"
This lady who just got done saying she doesn't know, says "Ma'am, it says right on it coupon, so we have to apply it as a coupon. Mary, just hit coupon, enter the amount $40.00, and hit enter, maybe that will work".
So Mary does that, and the register asks for a code, they don't have one, so they stand there staring at the card, decide to read the back of it, and then the manager lady just plops in her manager key, and hits enter, over ride, and her manager number code.
It deducts the $40, but that is so not the way to do it obviously.
And obviously, no one at Walmart has a clue how to use this coupon card, so Mary's till is probably going to be all screwed up at the end of the day, short by $40, or some other problem.
But whatever, not my problem, just finish my stuff so I can leave.
I swipe my debit card, wait for my receipt and run the hell outta there.
I hate that place.
Now, onto the converter box itself.
It works, it works quite nicely when the signal is strong, but just like an antenna, if the wind blows, buh-bye pretty picture.
And some local channels will not tune in at all. WWSB, and WFLA, which both brag about broadcasting in HD digital, do not tune in at all.
Nada, zip, zero, zilch.
I've been home for over 2 and a half hours, had this thing hooked up in seconds, and have been attempting to tune in all the channels since.
I get a lot of channels now, there's like 6 different PBS stations, a few ION stations, some more Spanish channels, Qubo, which is for kids, and all of the channels I previously picked up with the antenna, are coming in really nice, until the wind blows.
But both the above channels, are local news stations, I watch them both for local news, and the fact that they won't come in, is well, irritating.
I'll keep messing with it, I may need to buy a stronger antenna, something called an Ang, I think, it's supposed to be better at picking up digital signals, even though I have an antenna that does that, I just may need one with more power.
*muwhahahah! I need! More! Powwwwer!*
So that's how my day is so far, how's yours going?
Yes, I am going to the dreaded Walmart.
I need to pick up the converter box, and due to family finances, I have to go where it's cheapest.
One of my neighbors is headed there, and said I could tag along.
That will be the only thing I buy.
In, buy it, out.
They shall only get the $9.87 + taxes from me, and not a penny more.
I really hate that they are the cheapest, and in order to make sure I have enough money for the rest of the month for doctors and food and such, I have to do it.
Our house drinks a ton of Pepsi products, (we do drink Coke too, it's really whatever is on sale) and so we've been getting the Pepsi codes, which you enter on your Amazon MP3 Pepsi page.
If you're logged into your Amazon account, it's automatically synced up, and you enter your codes.
The codes are basically 1 point each, it's 5 points per mp3 download.
They even have digital tv show downloads which are 12 Pepsi points each.
So anyway, I've been wracking up the points for weeks now, and I entered all the codes, and had enough for 10 mp3s.
Not bad.
So I go through and start picking out songs to download.
I find one I want, and click buy with my Pepsi points.
It has this Amazon downloader tool thing, and then it automatically opens itunes and deposits your songs in your itunes library, as well as a new folder in your my music folder, labeled Amazon mp3.
I really do not like that itunes automatically opens, and that's where it goes.
It would be a lot better if we could determine where the file goes.
I even tried saving to disk and then opening the Amazon downloader to unpack the file, and it still opens itunes.
Yo! Amazon!
Not everyone has an ipod, and not everyone uses itunes as their default music library.
Let the consumer decide where and how we open our music files we bought and paid for.
And yes, I did buy them.
I drink like gallons of Diet Pepsi.
I go through a 12 pack every 3 days for one lousy freaking point.
I'd say I earned the right to decide where I put my purchased music files, and how I open them.
Thanks.
Having to copy each and every file, and then paste it into my music folder on drive D, is a step that could totally be avoided if they just let us decide where we put them.
The only reason I even have itunes is so that Quicktime will work.
I have never shopped at itunes, and probably never will.
And ya know, itunes already has a music store, why do they need to have another one on Amazon?
Why couldn't Amazon just let people buy music without the extra crap of itunes?
Huh?
HUH!?!?
Oh, sorry, where was I?
Oh yeah, the actual mp3 files.
They are real, they are not protected, which means that they will play on every mp3 player, and not just ipods.
There's another thing that really annoys me about downloading music files.
The way they are labeled.
I hate the track number first, then the artist, then the song title.
They all look like this; 14- Janes Addiction & Ice_T- Dont call me nigger whitey
Oh, that may be a bad example. Sorry, I just chose at random from the mp3s I have.
Let's pick another one.
05-Tool-Forty Six & 2.
See that number in front?
Hate it.
Why?
Because I don't keep all my music in separate album folders, I keep all my mp3s in one huge folder, and I list it alphabetically.
So this number crap, makes every single download with a number, appear in the list by the songs with numbers first, and then alphabetically by band name. Sooo, I have about 10 songs with 01, 10 songs with 02, 10 songs with 03 etc etc etc, and then, it goes into alphabetically by band name.
See, like this;
Click to embiggen
I don't like that.
The OCD in me absolutely hates it!
It's not perfect alphabetical order, and I cannot stand it, so I have slowly been working on renaming every single one of those files, to remove the number and make sure the band name is first, then song title.
And can you see?
Some of the files don't even have the band's name in the file name!
I have to add those.
Talk about time consuming, but I have to do it.
I really cannot leave them as is, I get so annoyed looking at that list like that.
Ok, ran off on a tangent.
Sorry about that!
This is about Amazon's mp3 downloads.
They are decent priced, single songs range from .89 cents to .99 cents, and full cds range from $4.99 to $9.00 and up.
They download quickly, the quality of the files is really good.
My only issue is with itunes automatically opening. (itunes opens, and then pops up every single time the Amazon downloader finishes downloading and moves the file to your itunes library)
If Amazon would get rid of that, and just let us put the files where we want and open them with whatever player we want, I'd be totally 100% on board with it.
Will I use it again?
Probably, but it'd be a lot better if they got rid of the itunes library opening and popping up after every song finishes downloading.
I ordered Pizza Hut for dinner tonight, didn't feel like cooking, and the guy on the phone said delivery would be over an hour.
I was prepared for that, some nights are just busy, it was cool.
But the delivery guy got here in less than that, in about 35 minutes.
I ordered 3 Pizza Mia pizzas, they are $5 each, then a 2 liter of Pepsi for the boys, and 2 20 oz. Diet Pepsi's for me.
It wasn't much, came to about $25, and because he got here a lot faster than they said, and he had everything I ordered, I tipped him $10.
He asked me if I was sure, I said yes.
He asked again, I said yes again, and then asked him why he was surprised.
He said, "People don't ever tip more than $5, and lately, people have been tipping about $1-$2. Are you really sure?"
I said "Yes I'm sure, and people are cheap, and the economy is in the crapper. But the way I see it is this, if you order for delivery, then you should be prepared to give a decent tip. The cost of gas is rising, the delivery people use their own vehicles, and they barely make minimum wage. They rely on tips, that's how they make their money."
He said thanks 3 more times before running back to his car, and he had this huge smile on his face.
That was my good deed for the day.
I made sure the kid could get some gas in his car tonight.
My '65 Mustang rides along Every mile's another song
I came across this cool blog about cars, it's a Mustang blog, that's what they mostly talk about, and I do love American muscle cars.
I have always loved old Mustangs especially.
There's something about that car that when I see one, I just stop and stare.
It's a beautiful vehicle.
I saw my first Mustang when I was about 14.
My friend Jenny's dad, had an old '65 Mustang parked in the driveway.
He was fixing it up, restoring it.
Every payday, he'd go buy another part it needed, and he tried to only buy original parts.
He'd hit up junk yards, and specialty auto parts stores, and work on it all weekend long.
I remember when he finally got it finished, and then got the paint job done.
He got that silver blue paint, and he painstakingly taped over the chrome, and wiper blades, the windshield, and all the other parts, and then with a pressure painter, he gave that car 3 coats.
It looked so beautiful.
Then he put on two or three coats of wax, to keep it looking good.
He polished the chrome over and over, so much that when the sun shone down and hit it just right, the light bouncing off of it would blind you.
It was a gorgeous car.
He got in, slipped in the key, and it purred.
He looked over at Jenny and I, who always sat on the porch on those weekends and watched him work on it, hand him wrenches and other tools he needed, and bring him cups of lemonade, and he asked us if we wanted to go for a ride.
We looked at each other with our eyes huge, and then we flew off that porch in a split second, and raced into the front seat.
Oh it was nice.
He turned on the radio and tuned it into WBLM, Black Sabbath was playing, and he turned the volume knob all the way up.
He spared no expense rebuilding that car, and even though the radio itself was an original, he added some extra speakers and sub woofers, and Iron Man blared out, and we backed out of the driveway.
We drove down Fern Ave, took a left to head down to the main strip in downtown Old Orchard Beach, and Jenny and I could barely contain our excitement.
We were riding in one of the hottest cars, listening to some great music, and cruising the strip like all the cool high school kids did on the weekends.
I'll never forget that car.
Every time her dad needed to go to the store, he'd poke his head in Jenny's bedroom door and shake the keys.
We would thrown down whatever we were doing and race to the car.
Jenny always hoped that when she got her license, he'd let her drive it, but her dad got in an accident one night, hit by some stupid drunk driver, and the car was totaled.
Her dad had a few minor injuries, luckily, he was ok, but the car was a total loss.
It sustained far too much damage to the body for him to try and repair.
I still see a lot of old Mustangs on the road down here in Florida.
It's the perfect state to drive around in one.
Different years, makes and models.
And I still stop and stare.
Title is from '65 Mustang by Five For Fighting
Picture of the silver blue '65 Mustang Coupe from Mustangs and More.
My sister Jo bought us a box of Vanilla flavored, Eggo waffles.
The teens wouldn't eat them, and I am a little cautious of vanilla stuff due to my scent allergies.
Well I didn't have any breakfast or lunch today, it was another forget to eat kind of day.
I was going to make toasted tuna fish sandwiches, but then I said heck with it, and decided to try the vanilla waffles.
They weren't too bad.
Now we just have to wait and see if I break out in hives or an itchy rash.
One of the things I would eventually love to buy for myself, for my home, is one of Michael Parks prints.
All of them are amazing, so full of details, unique and beautiful.
My sister has this one in a gorgeous frame, and it's fascinating to look at.
There's so much to look at it in every part of it, so many little things to see.
I love that one tiger is stone, the other is real.
Beautiful.
But this one, this is the one I want.
It's called The Creation.
You can click it to see it a bit better, isn't it beautiful?
So many things to see.
The tiger and his reflection, 'she' as she creates man.
I will have this print someday, not the actual painting, I could never afford the real painting, but just a print.
I have the perfect spot for it on the wall above my couch.
And the media needs to stop blowing this story up.
The amount of prescription drugs they are finding are so diluted, it's in quantities of parts per billion or trillion.
It's like one pill per olympic size swimming pool, but yes, let's create a panic over whether our drinking water is safe, so the bottled water companies can make even more money off of people's fears and ignorance.
I cannot believe it's after 5pm already!
Where did my day go?!
I woke up at 9am, watched my usual Sunday morning Degrassi TNG-a-thon, got dressed, went to Publix for bread, milk, eggs, soda, (probably should have gotten some sort of chocolate) and girly things, (stupid girly things showing up unannounced!) came home, ate a tuna sandwich, and now it's almost time to make dinner.
The time change totally threw off my day, and made it appear to go by faster.
We decided to have breakfast for dinner tonight.
I rattled off what we had in the house that I could make for dinner, and they mentioned the pound of bacon in the fridge.
I said "So yeah, it's a little late to be making bacon and eggs, you guys shoulda asked me to make it for breakfast".
They both said, "But mom, we can have breakfast for dinner, there's no law that says you can't".
I said "But what if there is? You want me going to jail?! Huh? HUH?!"
They said I was being stupid, but if there was a law, they wouldn't tell on me because my bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches are "teh awesome".
Flattery will get you breakfast for dinner.
I have to do some dishes, the laundry is in the dryer, and I'll have to fold it up before bed tonight so they can have clothes for school tomorrow.
The FCATs start Tuesday, the teens are not looking forward to that at all.
I personally hate the test, but whatever, there's no getting around it.
And there's nothing at all on tv tonight that I'm interested in watching, so I guess it'll be another night of xbox battles.
Either some GH or RS, not sure which, maybe both, either game is really fun.
Ok, off to do dishes and get stuff situated for breakfast.
Later days!
Almost every woman I know uses flat irons to get their hair perfectly straight, and me being a curly-headed girl my entire life, I have never known what truly flat and straight hair on me would look like.
Now I know.
I was fortunate enough to receive one of these flat irons to review, and I absolutely love it!
First let me tell you a little bit about Turbo Ion's The Croc Flat Iron.
It's a 1.5 inch ionic ceramic plate flat iron, with an 8 foot super sturdy cord that swivels.
The cord does not get tangled, it doesn't get all kinked up when you put it away.
It came in this itty bitty box, and the cord just fell loose and tangle free, when I removed it from the package.
It adjusts in temperature all the way up to 420 degrees.
Even at that high temp, the handle stays cool to the touch, and it heats up quickly, within 10 seconds, it was up to 420, and ready to go.
It has the industry's most advanced Nano-fine ceramic heating element, and it uses infrared heat and ion ventilating holes.
A few women I know told me that because of how long and thick my hair was, that there was no way a 1.5 inch plate would be able to handle my hair, and it would take a really long time.
Not so with this flat iron at all.
Start to finish, it only took me 30 minutes.
This is my hair today after taking a shower and letting it dry naturally for close to 5 hours.
The only thing I put in it was Infusium, like I always do, to attempt to keep it frizz free.
My hair is really thick and naturally curly.
It's very long, down to the middle of my back.
Then I started to use the flat iron, and you can see the immediate results.
It's flat, straight, and frizz free!
This is my hair just 30 minutes later, completely flat, completely straight, frizz free, and even longer than it normally is!
I have never owned a flat iron before, and never had my hair straightened by friends, or at a salon.
I was concerned that because of how thick my hair was, and how long it was, that using a flat iron was going to be difficult to use and take a long time.
The Turbo Ion's The Croc Flat Iron was really easy to use, fast, and did an amazing job.
When my hair is curly and dry, running a brush through it wouldn't make it look better, it would cause it to 'poof', and look like a lions mane.
For the first time ever, I can run a brush through my dry hair, and it does not get tangled up, it doesn't frizz out, the brush just glides through effortlessly, and my hair looks amazing.
Not only does the Turbo Ion's The Croc Flat Iron make my hair look incredible, it feels incredible.
It is silky smooth to the touch, it has shine, and does not feel dried out at all.
I am so impressed with the Turbo Ion's The Croc Flat Iron!
This is probably the best my hair has ever looked and felt in my entire life.
This product gets horns high for being an absolutely rockin' product!
I apologize for the smudges on the mirror, I didn't even see them until I uploaded the pictures to my computer.
For my birthday last Saturday, Christine sent me a gift certificate to Amazon with the strict instructions to buy something for me.
No mom guilt, no buying anything for the boys or the house, but for me.
So I did.
I bought a ring with my birthstone, aquamarine, and sterling silver, from Avon's amazon store.
It arrived today, and I absolutely love it.
Thanks Christine for making me do something for me, it's nice to have such a pretty thing just for myself.
This is how biofeedback was described to me, this is the FAQ from the Mayo Clinic on what biofeedback is and does, and I do love how it says under the reasons it may appeal to people, It may decrease your medical costs.
Sure, at $35 a pop, I can totally see it decreasing my medical costs! My doctor co-pay for each visit is $17.65, so uh, yeah, that's definitely helping lower my medical costs! /sarcasm
The basic premise of biofeedback is this,
Once you begin to recognize that your headache is a result of tense muscles, the next step is to learn how to invoke positive physical changes in your body, such as relaxing those specific muscles, when your body is physically or mentally stressed. Your eventual goal will be to produce these responses on your own, outside the therapist's office and without the help of technology.
Maybe it's just me, but I think most people know when they are stressed out and have, for example, a headache, and how to relieve that stress and attempt to soothe the headache away.
Ya know, swallow down about 8 Tylenol and lay down for a little while.
I think what bothered me the most, and what reader Chris also mentioned, was that she didn't know my medical history at all, she didn't even know my name, and her approach, was a one treatment fits all perspective.
If she had bothered to ask my doctor for my file, he would have given it to her or at least clued her in to what my problem was, seeing as he's the one who recommended I try this, she would have known that getting down into that beanbag chair was going to be an issue, and the raw nerve feelings I have in my back are well documented in my file, so the "soothing" vibrations from music being pumped through that thing would have sent me over the edge with pain.
And that bean bag chair that she called specifically, a biofeedback therapy device, isn't even something I can find when doing a Google search.
I Googled biofeedback bean bag chair, biofeedback bean bag therapy chair, biofeedback music playing bean bag chair, and I can't find a god damn thing about it, nor is it mentioned on any of the pages about biofeedback
Heck, I can't even find it just using the term "music playing bean bag chair", so uh, yeah.
To me, biofeedback is another new age snake oil.
People in pain will try it because they are desperate for pain relief, and this kind of crap with it's little heart devices, and breathing devices, books, cds, and dvds to watch and meditate with, are just another way to empty the pockets of people desperate to be free from pain.
And just like most other new age cures, it relies on people to have a need for a belief in a higher power, and since most people do, most people will believe that this kind of crap works.
It doesn't have any real basis in science other than the devices which monitor breathing and heart rate, the whole idea behind it is to learn how to slow your breathing and heart rate down through meditation, and to use positive thinking to relive pain.
And as for prayer, a huge study was done, and it was found that prayer had no positive effect on patients.
1,802 patients at six hospitals who received coronary bypass surgery, were broken into three groups. Two were prayed for; the third was not. Half the patients who received the prayers were told that they were being prayed for; half were told that they might or might not receive prayers.
Analyzing complications in the 30 days after the operations, the researchers found no differences between those patients who were prayed for and those who were not.
The power of prayer and positive thought made absolutely no difference at all.
So yes, I was offended that this "therapist" went there.
I really was under the assumption that biofeedback was a scientifically proven treatment, and it's not.
It's an alternative therapy, a mind over matter, use your thoughts and will, to heal your own body approach that doesn't always work, and scientists can't even explain how or why it works for some people.
Sorry, but after all these years dealing with my spine issues, I prefer to stay to tried and true scientifically proven methods of treatment, not the hoaky poaky.
Well it will be when I finally go to bed and wake up again.
I need to do the magical table of crap, as always.
And then I need to get in here and take this on.
I have far too much health and beauty products going on in this tiny little space, and quickly running out of room.
I am thinking of using some small plastic bins I have that should fit in there nicely, and stackable, so I can have all that stuff in there, but organized.
And I will be showing you all something super cool today.
I'm still amazed at it myself.
So with that little hint, I'm finally going to bed.
Later days!
I would start by getting tankless water heaters for both sides of the duplex.
If both sides had them, both units would be saving on our FPL (Florida Power and Electric) bills every month, and that could add up to huge savings, almost 50%.
The biggest uses of electricity in both units is the air conditioning, and the heating of the water for showers, dishes, and laundry.
I've completely stopped using hot or warm water to do laundry, and noticed a drop in my bill by about 10%.
Our water heaters are old, OMG, so old, I swear they are the same ones that were originally installed in the 70's when the duplex was built.
They are small, so if Mark, who always takes the first shower of the day, takes a shower lasting longer than 7 minutes, then Sebastian only has enough hot water to last for 4 minutes.
I don't take my shower till after 9am, so by then, the water heater has had time to rebuild it's supply back up.
But if we went tankless, it would create hot water on demand, the second shower of the day would be just as hot as the first, when doing the dishes, I wouldn't start going cold before getting to the silverware, and if I needed to wash in warm or hot, there would be hot water no matter what time of day.
In the long run, it would make both units more energy efficient, and a selling point to any new renters in the future.
And if the landlord chose to sell the unit, they would also be a huge selling point and he could ask for a bit more money.
My biggest thing though is saving on the electric bill.
AC is a must here, and so those summer bills can be really, really pricey.
Being able to lower the bill by just changing out the old and outdated water heater, would make a nice improvement, and lower my bills.
I know my neighbors would like it too.
She is always complaining that there is never enough hot water for the whole family to take showers when they have plans to go out.
So let's begin with my first Biofeedback therapy appointment shall we?
I arrive at my doctor's office, and a short Malaysian woman with not-so-good English, calls me back into her room, with just a wave of her hand.
It is a standard patient room, just large enough for a patient table, a chair, and the doctor's desk.
The patient table is cluttered with baskets full of relaxation cd's, books on positive thinking and prayer, and the room is sweltering hot, it had to be about 98 degrees in there.
She has managed to fit this large biofeedback beanbag chair in there as well, but in order to close the door for privacy, I [eyeroll] had to lift it up so she could close the door.
She doesn't know my name, so she doesn't know my case history, and asks me to sit down on this chair.
It's low to the floor, too low for me, but I manage to get into it.
It's vibrating to some tranquil rain forest music.
It's irritating the fuck out of the raw nerves on my back, so I get off of it.
This offended her, and I had to explain why I got off of it.
I have two titanium rods running nearly the full lentgh of my spine, and two 4 inch iliac screws in my hips, one of which is broken, raw nerves in my back.
She decides that it's ok for me to sit in the regular chair.
Then she puts some headphones on me and tells me to relax as she's wrapping a breathing monitor around my waist.
She tells me it's ok if I "nap" to the music.
I don't.
I breathe normally, we finish with that after 20 minutes, and then we move on to this heart rate monitor, which she explains in her very broken English, that will detect my stress levels based on my heart rate, like a polygraph machine.
She attaches this clip to my ear which has a cord, the cord plugs into the unit.
Breathe slowly, the light turns green and I'm "cohesive" with my body.
Breathe rapidly, it turns red, and I'm not "cohesive".
She would like me to be "green" for the next 10 minutes.
So I sit and keep it green for a few minutes, then I decide to have a bit of fun.
I increase my heart rate through breathing more deeply and quickly, the light turns red, then I slow it down again.
Rinse, repeat.
Cool, neat trick.
She doesn't understand why it's doing that.
Heh.
The whole time this test is going on, she's going on and on about how breathing techniques and relaxation can completely relieve my pain. Completely.
The pain I feel is all in my head she explains, my brain controls the pain I feel, so I need to "tell" my brain what to do, to not feel pain.
She has a list of "cohesive" response words, which she will teach me over the next severalmonths, (at $35 a visit) that will train my brain to not send or feel any pain receptions.
Pain is just a perception, and we can train our brains to not acknowledge pain.
Uh-huh.
Tell that to my broken iliac screw.
The more she talks, the more I'm feeling like I'm sitting with Tom Cruise, and he's telling me that drugs are bad, and psychiatry is evil, and that we are super beings who can do anything with the power of our minds.
The way she was going on, I fully expected her to break out into maniacal laughter.
Then she goes into the power of prayer, and I've just about had it at this point.
Power of thought, power of positive thinking, power of prayer, and training our brains to not feel any pain at all through these techniques she's mastered.
She begins talking more about the power of prayer for healing, and as an atheist, I'm starting to get really annoyed.
I go to the doctor because he's a man of science, he has studied the human body, how it works, and my surgeon studied bodies and how they work, and through science, both these doctors treat the human bodies ailments.
I do not go to doctors to discuss, or implement, the power of prayer and positive thinking.
Believe me, if the power of prayer actually worked to heal pain, all the years of my mother praying for me to get relief from my back issues, I would have been healed years ago.
It doesn't work.
She keeps going, I'm feeling more and more uncomfortable, more unhappy, stressed the fuck out.
Her little heart rate monitor is in the red and beeping wildly.
She actually placed her hand on my back, and began praying.
I spoke up, told her I do not believe in any god or gods, or prayer for healing, and that I was under the assumption that biofeedback was something totally different than this.
She is clearly offended, has this look of pure horror mixed with disgust on her face, but I politely asked her not to do that again.
At this point I glance at the clock, see that my 1 hour long appointment, has now run 20 minutes over, and I tell her I need to leave.
She starts handing me all these papers and pamphlets, instructional sheets on breathing and relaxation techniques, and workbooks to do over the next 15 days.
I'm supposed to go back in 15 days to do this kind of crap all over again.
I don't think so.
I will not be doing this again.
I know how to relax my own body, how to breathe properly, I managed to mess with her little machine, I think I know how to control my breathing.
But I am seriously not going to spend $35 a visit, to pray and think positive, and be told my pain is in my head, by someone who doesn't even know what I meant when I described what my ailment was.
The very real pain my brain is perceiving, is caused by a very real broken iliac screw, and titanium rods, and rheumatoid arthritis, stenosis, and severe nerve damage, and my bodies attempt to heal itself after major surgery for severe levoscoliosis, and thorocolumbar scoliosis.
I'm a skeptic, an atheist, and a realist.
I know what the real reasons for my pain are, and believe me, they are not in my head, they are in the full lentgh of my spine and pelvis.
And the power of prayer has not, and will not, ever cure what is wrong with my body.
Biofeedback is bullshit, and I will not be wasting any more money on it.
I am so agitated, I'm ready to put my fist through the door or window, but I can't because I don't have any home insurance to cover the damage that I might do, and the landman would be really mad at me.
But man, it sure would be nice to be able to destroy something right now.
A hole in the wall, a door off the hinges, some spray paint on the clean white walls.
Maybe I'll just go scream in a pillow or something.
Or perhaps, I should try "breathing through the heart" to calm myself down. /sarcasm
I had the most annoying therapy appointment I've ever had in my entire life.
I will write a whole separate post about it, because I also want to include a little video to tell you all about why I'm so annoyed, and I need to film and upload it for your viewing pleasure.
That was an hour and a half of my life I can't get back.
And yes, I know a few people who will be laughing at me, because the whole point of biofeedback is to calm one's self down to a point of total relaxation, which then relieves stress as well as pain.
Very unhappy.
Very.
If I ever get around to filing it that is.
That's right, I still have not gone to get them done.
There's been a few issues come up over some things, not big issues, but I want to make sure before I go and do them, that the answer I was given is the correct one.
Then I need to decide on where to go. Jackson Hewitt, who has always done my taxes, but didn't get back the right amount last year, or Amscot, who I have done all my money stuff through for the last 2 years?
I'll probably go with Amscot.
I know a few people who have done their taxes through them this year, and are very pleased.
So after I get them done, I need to get Kali to the vet, that's first and foremost, and then I'm going to go discount furniture shopping for a new sofa, and if I can't find something I like and cheap, I'll just do a slipcover.
Then it's time for new contacts again, and then it's time for me to get some new clothes.
New jeans, new shirts, new shoes.
I'm sure I'll go with as cheap as I possibly can, I always do, that mom guilt is a killer, so Target will get some business for my clothing needs.
And after the needs are met, the rest of the money will stay in my account for emergency bills, or other emergencies.
Lighter colored sheets and bedding covers that is.
Right now my sheets and blanket are a deep burgundy color, and while I love them, they show cat hair so so badly.
All 3 of the cats sleep with me, Shahiro at the foot of the bed, Kali around my waist area, and Nova at the head of my bed near my pillows.
All 3 of them leave gobs of cat hair in their sleeping spots, and they never sleep in different spots, it's always those places.
Nova is the worst for leaving hair.
It's like in a pile, making sort of it's own fuzzy blanket covering at the top of my bed.
It's gross.
I tried using a lint roller to get it off, and went through 5 sticky roller sheets, and had barely made a dent in the fuzz.
When I wash my sheets which is every other day due to this hair collection, they have to be washed separately from any other laundry, or the hairs get stuck to other clothing.
Yes they do come off in the dryer and get caught in the lint filter, but I've had to run a small load of clothes twice to make sure all the hairs were gone.
So anyway, I'm thinking of gray or silver colored sheets.
Then if there were cat hairs, I wouldn't notice them and be annoyed by them as much.
Sometimes I wish I had the captioning on certain tv shows because I can't hear what's being said.
Like LOST for example.
Sometimes they speak so quickly or quietly, lots of whispering, and I can't make it out, and what they said is critical to the story line in that episode.
I'm deaf in my left ear, but when they whisper, it makes it so damn hard to know what's going on.
Like just now, Juliette is in the jungle, they are looking for Daniel and Charlotte, and she hears all this whispering, the voices are definitely saying something to her but you can't make it out, and then bam! This therapist lady shows up in front of her.
So my contact lens was sorta stuck in my eye for most of the day, and it finally popped out.
While I was peeing.
I started blinking a few times, involuntarily, and it just went *pop* and landed on my shorts.
I picked it up and placed it on the counter, finished peeing, and then put the lens in a case.
At least I didn't lose it or have it totally stuck up under my eye lid.
I've had that happen before to the point it was really lodged and burning, and had to go to the eye doctor and have him take it out.
That sucked, because he used that thing that keeps your eye open, and this special little plastic tweezer type thing, to grab the lens and get it out.
Yeah, I've been looking at Blu Ray dvd players because HD has lost the war, and most movie studios are abandoning HD for strictly Blu Ray.
So when I finally get a Blu ray player, it will be awhile because I'm waiting for prices to come down, or see if Microsoft will make a Blu Ray player for the Xbox, I will get some new speaker mounts for my surround sound system which has been sitting collecting dust for about 6 months.
I really miss how awesome it sounded in my small living room.
It was really like being in a theater, and the pictures on the walls would shake.
Action movies sounded so good, you could hear every little detail noise, I loved it.
I miss it.
I am hoping that Xbox decides to make a Blu Ray add on like some of the rumors I've been reading.
I really don't want to have any more separate gadgets.
I have enough already.
I woke up and was rubbing my eyes, I wear contact lenses, so usually a little eye rub clears them up.
My right lens sorta disappeared.
It didn't pop out.
It didn't fold in half and get stuck under my lid.
It just vanished, except for the mild irritation I feel behind my eye.
Is that possible?
Can a contact lens go behind your eyeball?
I tried grabbing my lid by the lashes and blinking.
I tried flooding it with an eye wash cup.
I tried lifting my lid up and attempting to look for it, but nope, can't see it at all.
So, I put another contact lens in so I can see.
My vision is fine, my new lens isn't blurry, and the old one has not slid down or come out.
I just feel like something is behind my eye.
My eye keeps watering, but it doesn't burn or sting.
Maybe it will just slide out as the day goes on.
Hrmph.
I have an appointment Friday afternoon for something called biofeedback therapy.
The way it was described to me was as-like acupuncture, minus the needles.
Then at my doctors appointment on Tuesday, the physicians assistant showed me the chair.
It's a bean bagg-ish type chair really low on the floor, and what it does is send all kind of vibrations and pulses while you sit in it.
She admitted to me that she absolutely hates it, and that not many people like it at all, so I shouldn't be surprised if I sit down in it, they turn it on, and it seriously freaks me out.
That makes me kind of nervous to be honest.
Not to mention how low to the floor the thing is.
But hey, I'll give it a try.
I'll try anything at least once.
I did do 20 minutes on tension level 2, on the elliptical today.
I was a little bit sore in the left hip area, when I got done.
It's a slightly tighter workout, so I figured it would hurt at least a little bit.
The pain went away within a few hours, so it's all good.
At some point down the road, I'd like to incorporate some weights and weight benches routines into the mix.
Some laying flat back on the bench, doing some flat bench presses or chest presses, to help strengthen my shoulders.
I'm so over the weight limit restrictions, and I know I would have to start off low, at my current lift limit of 5lbs, but any workout at any weight, would help at this point.
A bench would also make doing small crunches easier, to strengthen the core muscles.
That's an area I really need to work on.
All in due time though, I don't want to rush things and risk an injury of any kind, because believe me, a blown shoulder, or bursitis in the shoulder, oh man, it hurts something fierce.
I think I have folliculitis, or the more common name, an ingrown hair.
It hurts.
It's on the back of my thigh.
I was in a hurry the other day, so instead of using Veet like I normally do, I just did a quickie shave.
I was running late, not feeling well, excuses, excuses, and I always say never again, because I always get an ingrown hair or two if I shave my legs with any kind of razor.
It could be a brand new blade, and I will still get an ingrown hair.
Anyway, I was trying to get a look at it to make sure that's what it is and not a spider bite.
Yes, I said spider bite. They get in your bed down here, and then blammo! You have this huge and painful sore that oozes pus, and in worst case scenarios, you have to go to the hospital and have a chunk of skin removed.
I know, gross, ack, barf, but seriously, I need to get a look at this thing.
I went to get my flashlight and hand-held mirror so I could swing my leg up on the bathroom counter, aim the mirror at the back of my thigh, and shine the flashlight at the mirror, which would make the whole back of my thigh show up nicely in the mirror.
But wouldn't you know it?
Dead freaking battery in the flashlight.
This is one of those big flashlights too, not like I can just throw a few AA's in it and make it work, it takes a brick battery.
What I need around here is a rechargeable flashlight so it's always powered up.
Now I have to get to the store and get a new battery for it, and I still don't know if it's a spider bite or ingrown hair.
Keep your fingers crossed it's just an ingrown hair please?
The very thought of a spider having bit the back of my thigh makes me wanna vomit.
I'm so excited!
Any day now, I'll be getting a full size sample bottle of a new (well new to me) antioxidant to try out.
I love testing products, and I love testing them more when they are for health reasons.
I take a vitamin every day, a cal/mag/zinc supplement 3 times a day, as well as a fiber supplement 3 times a day.
The antioxidant excites me because of it's cleaning abilities.
It removes free radical intermediates, and oxidation reactions, by being oxidized themselves.
Oxidative stress may be an important part of many human diseases, and so having something to fight off those free radicals which may cause illnesses, is a good thing.
I cannot wait to try this one out, as it boasts an energy producer as well.
I'll be sure to let you know how it works and if I like it or not.
I'm rather impatient, and can't wait for it to get here.
My friend Tina, just posted that she bought new shades for her new apartment.
The color of her bedroom is a light lilac, and so she bought some really pretty purple roller shades, like these.
That is going to look so awesome with the lilac walls, I'm jealous.
My room is standard apartment white, with standard apartment light blue carpeting.
Her carpet? It's that fluffy-ish cream colored carpeting.
Her room is going to look so good!
She has been planning her new apartment out for what seems like months, and just waiting on her tax return to be able to do it all.
Her son's room has the same kind of carpet, but his walls are a light green-ish color, she she went with a dark green roller shade for him.
They are light but protect against the sun.
They let light in, but not heat.
I can't wait to see the finished product at her new place.
She and her son had been living with her parents for like, the last 4 years, and so to finally be able to afford her own place and make it cozy and cute, decorate the way she wants, is awesome.
I'm so happy it's all finally coming together for her.
Ok, so Easter is March 23, most schools are taking spring break then.
Not ours, oh no.
We have a professional day on March 21st, so no school.
Then they go to school for a week, then they have from March 31st through April 6th, for spring break.
That's a very late spring break.
It should be over the Easter holiday, not in April like that.
Our last day of school for the year is May 30th.
I will never understand why they plan the school calendar this way.
That was one of the polls in the S&R forums over the last few days, and you'd be surprised by the numbers.
Most of the men said they only really like lingerie on their wedding night.
They want to see their new wife in her traditional bridal lingerie, but after that, they think the sexiest thing a woman could wear to bed is her own skin.
Now women on the other hand, prefer lingerie, or her man's button down office shirt.
The majority of women did not like to stand naked in front of their man, they all felt like they had too many body flaws to just be all bare and out there.
But then men found bare and out there, to be the most intoxicating and arousing thing about a woman.
I almost allowed myself to be sucked in to the hate.
I still have some bad feelings about an on-line company I used to work for, bitter, nasty feelings.
I have even more of those bitter, nasty feelings towards one person involved in particular, and I do my absolute best to refrain from any interactions with her.
I keep myself very guarded most of the time.
Like 99.9%, I am on guard, I hold every emotion in, and I come out sounding like a robot.
It's much better to be cold and robotic, than it is to lower myself to the level she has in the past.
I've allowed myself to become too close to some of the people again, and she is one of them.
A conversation took place, I snipped back. It wasn't as nasty as it could have been, and when pressed, I immediately apologized for my brief moment of quip.
I will not lower myself any lower than that.
I will not go where she has gone, I will not say anything more on the subject.
I went too far as it was, but my emotions were high, my anger and bitterness over the previous company were running high, and I quipped when I should have bolted out of there as fast as possible, only leaving dust or the glow of some led tail lights in my absence.
My dislike of this woman runs deep.
Fakeness in people bothers me like nothing else.
Having 2 faces, one that is all sweet and kind, and the other, equipped with a wicked and sharp, forked tongue.
I make no apologies for my dislike of her, only an apology for sinking to her level.
These are things I am working on, personal character flaws of mine, that need to be dealt with so I can stay above those low levels, not allow myself to be entertained or hyped up into joining the group.
I had a very good handle on it for the last few months, but the company has become more of an issue with more of my friends dealing with issues with this company, and my wanting to help, sends me in to see the other things going on, and wham, I slipped.
I will be refraining from being part of the group of people desperately trying to make a change for the better.
I cannot help them any way, no matter how much I would like to.
And in my inability to help, and my desire to stay away from the fray, I will be able to give myself the space needed to stay away from one who can bring out the less than good human levels in me.
I strive to be the best human I can be, I do make mistakes, but I am the only one who can make myself better, so I'll take the steps needed to do so.
Friends can still email me for advice, but there will be no more joining in the conversations, because I find myself sinking to those levels which make me ashamed of myself.
So the hole on the leather sofa is growing larger by the day, and I'm torn between buying a cheaper slip cover, or buying a whole new sofa.
If I go for the whole new sofa, I'll go with George who is a member of directbuy, and get it through them.
They off home improvement, design, furniture etc, all at cost, not retail cost, but at what the wholesalers get the stuff for.
I know you know what I'm talking about, you've seen the commercials for their showrooms, I just didn't know George was a member.
Yeussss!!!
Yup, by tomorrow, I should be feeling a whole lot better, and get back to my workout schedule.
I've been really missing it.
Mine is not a Precor elliptical, but it's a damn good one, and I love working out on it.
I can either do it while I watch my morning tv shows, or with my mp3 player cranked up, and get to town on it.
If you've never tried an elliptical before, it is fun and easy, and there's no stress on your knees.
I love being on mine, and I think after tomorrow's workout, (it's been about a week since I've been able to work out) I should be able to move up to the next tension level.
I'm so very excited about that!
The higher the tension, the more your burn!
Do any of you at home, have an elliptical, or other workout machine?
Do you do it everyday? Every other day?
How are you doing on it?
What's your goals and have you met any of them yet?
And to my partners, Belle and Mindy, I apologize for not being here to cheer you on and get updates. (Bad workout partner,bad)
So gals, where's your updates?!
Of course, it's cheapest at the store I don't want to shop in ever again.
I got my converter box program coupon in the mail today, so I went online to the stores where it says they have them in stock locally, to check prices.
I have 90 days from the date they mailed it, to use it or it expires.
Whydoes thecheapest onehave tobe atFuckingWalmart?
I said in December, "I stand by what I said, that I will never shop at a Walmart store or at Walmart.com again."
But god damn it, It's freaking $10 cheaper at Walmart.
Gahhhhhh!!!!
I am going to do my absolute best to not care about saving that $10, and just buy it at a store that didn't give me a run around, didn't lie to me, didn't return the calls the said they were going to, and buy this converter box at one of the other stores that have it, even if it is $10 more expensive.
I am going to hope that some of the other stores put them on sale before my 90 days are up.
Yes, it's only an additional $10 above the Walmart price, and it's a total of $20 out of pocket, but still, I like to save money when I can. I'm the kind of person who would invest in the stock market, if I could buy penny stocks.
I like to save money, not spend it.
Well that down there certainly isn't a pretty post is it?
I woke up at 6:30am, I had to be at the docs by 9am, and knew it was going to take a bit of work to get me functioning and out of this house. While that post makes sense, it's an ugly reality of how I spent my day yesterday and all of last night.
I also know this blog has taken a very different turn in the last few months, a turn towards all things drug and medical related, and I have noticed, and I also noticed that I don't like it.
It will be fixed, get back on track, I just may have a few more posts about those alternative drugs to get out because they are important to me to discuss.
I want anyone out there who may be searching for the possible side effects of those drugs that may get prescribed to them, to know what side effects are not listed in the little note the doc hands you, or the list of side effects that get stapled to your script when you pick it up, and what side effects the websites leave off completely.
I hate to think of other people walking around with tears sliding down their cheeks and not know why, or having a feeling of super rage come over them and not know why, so I owe it to those people to be honest about it, and write about it.
I saw the physicians assistant this morning, and like I said in that other post, I took the morning dose so that whoever saw me, could see how my speech, motor functions, and heart rate behave on it.
My speech was slurred, my vision was blurry and darting around the room, my hands were shaky, and my blood pressure was through the roof.
My sister Joey and I, had even joked a day or two ago, about how way back in the day, Soma's were considered good fun.
But that was also back when we were smoking pot and drinking, and dropping acid and stuff.
I was young then, had energy. But if I ever took a pill that made me sleepy, any one of our numerous partners in crime, had another pill that would wake you right back up.
One pill makes you larger*
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall
The PA saw me and asked my pain level, which was a 7. She asked me how I was feeling and I let it all out.
"Do you see me? Can you hear and understand me? Because I don't feel what's coming out of my mouth is making much sense when it goes back into my own ears.
I am the one who came to Doc R. and asked to try and wean off the narcotics, but I'm ending that today. My days of testing alternative pain relievers is over as of now.
I absolutely refuse to try any thing else.
I refuse because the 4 we have tried have all be semi-effective for the pain, but they have messed with my head in very bad ways.
I'm either sleeping and confused upon waking, or if they don't make me sleep, they simply mess with my head.
One of them made me so depressed, I would just lay in my bed and cry, then I'd get angry, and not just angry, I would fly off into a rage.
The lower dose of that one was even worse.
It was staring to make the block of knives look 'attractive' to me.
I would float between the emotions of extreme sadness, then anger, then rage, then hate, then wanting to kill myself, then wanting to kill others.
My sons would come home from school, and instead of saying, hey boys how was your day, I was starting to scream at them and keep screaming until they would slither away and remain dead quiet for fear of what mommy "might do".
So Nancy? No more. Absolutely no more.
I will not do this to my sons again. I will not put them through even one more test for an alternative. Am I making myself clear?
I, the patient came to you, and said I wanted to try and get off the narcotics I had been on for over 6 years. He said he would help me. He tried, he did his best, but no more. I will not do any of that to my sons again, and if he'd like to know what my sons have been through, he's free to call my home today after 3pm, and speak to them. Start with my 16 year old Mark, and then talk to Sebastian who is 14.They will tell him what I have been like. They told me, and all I could do was sit down and apologize, and beg them for their forgiveness.
In all the years on narcotics, I have never treated them so badly as I have in the last 2 and a half months of testing alternative and synthetic pain relievers. I am ashamed of myself, and if testing even more could do that to them again, then no way, no more, we are done"
Not only that, but the confusion and inability to recall very important things.
I was awoken yesterday by the Maine state AG, about my child support hearing. She asked me if she could file something on my behalf, I said yes, but what did I say yes to? She also mentioned something about the hearing and and how something about phone calls or actually being there, and I said yes.
Did I say yes to a phone call hearing or did I say yes to I'll be there?! I need to know what we spoke about, and now I have to call her up later today when this pill wears off, and try to explain to her why I'm calling and hope that it doesn't impact my case negatively.
Nancy?? No More. Is this clear? No more. I want my regular narcotics back because I know how my body behaves on them, I know that I can function, and I know that I don't verbally assault people."
Nancy took me by the hands, and wiped away the tears I didn't even know were coming down, and said 'Ok Kat, it's going to be ok. I'll put you back on them and tell him why. I've recorded this whole conversation, he will hear for himself the problems you've been having and he'll agree with me. No more testing alternatives or synthetics. No more'.
She wrote out the script and had the secretary call it in to Walgreen's so it will be ready when I got there, and it was.
So I'm home now, I'm going to eat a few pieces of chicken I got for lunch at Publix when I picked up something easy for dinner, and a few other small things I could carry home.
I'm going to go eat them now, take my meds, and hope that one pill wears off soon so I can get back to normal.
Ya know, back in the day, these kinds of feelings would have been ok.
We would have totally had a blast feeling like this.
But that is not what this post is about.
What this post IS about is what I'm going to do when I get home from the docs this morning after making him listen to me.
And that, I'm going to describe in the nitty gritty details what each and everyone of those drugs has done to my body and mind.
Because not a single bit of it has been funny, especially for my teens who have had to deal with me.
I took my morming dose, and i gotta tell ya, I'm looking at my couch like it's my only best friend ever.,
it wants me to come lay down kat, come have another soman coma. it's ok.,
but it's not. I have to go out to the doctor and tell him no more.
NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE.
kitty is donne being a guinea pig tester.
done.
I'm having a really rough day with this medicine.
I have been unable to keep my eyes open, which yeah, I know, it's a sedative, but I've managed to do sorta ok most of the week and stay awake.
Not today though.
Maybe I did too much this weekend or something, I don't know, but I'm so out of it, and I fucking hate that more than anything else.
It's one of the things I yelled at him about last week, and tomorrow, it will be the first thing I discuss.
It's unacceptable.
I'm not some 90 year old nursing home resident who is easier to deal with when I'm asleep.
I'm a 38 year old MOTHER who cannot be sleeping like this.
Can-not!
I don't even recall exactly what was said in a very important phone call.
I know it was the AG, it was about the hearing and requesting something, but god damn these fucking stupid pills for fucking with my head!!!!!
George Carlin.
I would love to see him at some point in my life.
The man cracks me up all the way back to his 7 words you can't say on television, to his new stuff.
And here is some of his new stuff, because what would a Sunday be, without a little religion?
I don't have any pictures of my sisters cat Zeke, on my pc, Joey sent me a pic of Zeke, and Zeke is Kali's brother.
He was a long cat, wiry, loving and beautiful.
He was white with big splotches of grey, and huge beautiful eyes.
He adored my sister, he would jump on her shoulder, and wrap himself around her neck like an old fox stole wrap, completely wrapping himself around her and nuzzling into her neck.
Zeke had been sick for awhile, off and on for most of the year.
Then he had an infection in his pancreas a few months ago, and my sister went into debt to afford the surgery to remove half his pancreas, and the medications to make him better.
For awhile, he seemed to be doing much better, and then over the last few days, he had a huge swollen mass near his lower abdomen.
She took him into the vet once again, and iv's and antibiotics, and for awhile, they weren't sure what was wrong or if he'd make it.
Then yesterday, they said he was fine, up walking, eating, playing, she could take him home.
Last night, he refused to get up from his sleeping place, he struggled to walk when my sister helped him stand, and she rushed him back to the emergency vet last night around 10:30pm, and made the hard decision to end his suffering.
They gave him an injection to relax him, take away his pain, she fed him some treats he loved, which he gobbled down after not being able to eat most of yesterday.
He was purring and eating, and slipped off to sleep mid chew.
They then gave him the injection to stop his heart.
Zekers is gone, and my heart breaks for my sister and the girls who loved him so much.
My nieces are too young to understand what death is, they will only know it means Zeke is not coming back.
It will be a few more years before they understand what death is.
Skye, will be especially heartbroken.
She and Zeke had a special little bond, he would curl up on her lap, sleep with her, let her pet and play with him.
Before sis took him to the vet last night, she let the girls come pet him, and Skye could see he was sick, she said in her little loving voice, "It's ok Zeke, you'll be ok".
Telling the girls later today will be difficult even though they won't really understand all that it means.
__________________
Mark, my oldest, has lost two cats in his young life, he is very upset about Zeke.
It brings out the bad memories of his losses.
Over the last few weeks around here, Mark has been asking me questions about my Kali.
I've posted recently about her little body shuddering while she sleeps, and this has had Mark asking what I will do if she gets really sick, or these spasms are a serious issue.
I plan on taking her to the vet with my tax return, and having them run tests to see if there is anything wrong, or if those spasms are normal or whatever.
But I've made up my mind after watching what has happened with Zeke, and about a year, maybe 2 years now, when her cat Pixie was sick with cancer and heart disease, and all the trips to the vet, the medicines, the tests, and still in the end, having to put her down as well.
I will not let Kali suffer.
I know most vets say if we do this, this, and this, your cat could get better, but could is the word, and most times, they do not recover from such serious illnesses.
If the vet tells me that Kali has heart disease or something like that, I will ask for a time line, how much time she has left if we do not do surgeries and cancer treatments etc.
If being able to give her a pill a day will keep her alive for another year or two, then I'll do that, but I will not put her through a surgery or two, I will not put her through extensive testing and drug treatments.
Some of you may think that's cold and heartless, but Kali has been my best friend, my baby.
She comforts me when I am sad and sick, she is so gentle and loving, and I will not allow her to suffer through harsh procedures.
I will take any steps needed to keep her comfortable and not in pain, and when she has taken all she can, I will let her go.
Putting her down would be the most loving and humane thing I could do for her.
I believe if she could speak, if animals could speak, they would want to be let go with the same dignity as humans.
And because Kali is such a beautiful and well behaved, such a dignified personality, I will treat her with that same respect I want when my time comes.
She was fast as lightning. It was a little bit frightening.
Last night, my neighbor knocked on the door, and the screen door was only open a little bit.
Well it was open just enough apparently.
Kali (kitty) made a beeline for the great outdoors and went.
Now she's done this before, and usually just makes a quick lap around the house and comes right back.
Not this time.
She was gone from around 8:30pm to 2:30am.
I sat here with my inside door open, and the screen door shut and locked so the other cats couldn't get out, and just waited for her.
I had gone out and searched with a flashlight, around the whole perimeter, called her, tapped a fork on a can of tuna, shook the cat food bucket, and she would not come back.
Finally at 2:30am, I see this hairball in the shadows, hear her tiny little "mew", and I let her in.
She knew she had been gone too long and that I was mad, because she ran straight to my room and hid under the bed.
She's now been spending the better part of the morning, licking and picking off the hitchhikers.
They are these little weed type things, that get stuck to no matter what kind of clothing, fur, shoes, one would be wearing outdoors.
I hate it when she gets out, I worry about her so much.
She is not an outdoor cat at all.
She has been an inside cat since I got her as a kitten.
She has no front claws, she is not equipped to deal with the wild animals that come out at night here.
There are possums, fox, raccoons, and the wild Florida tree rats.
I never allow her out, but every now and then, she makes an attempt at freedom.
The last time she got out was about 2 years ago, I think.
I really don't like her out there, she's my baby, and it's not safe.
I'm glad she came back, but many different bad things could have happened to her out there.
My road is not safe, that's how Mark lost Mufasa one year.
I don't think I could handle that happening to Kali.
I got back a little while ago, from dinner out at the Oriental Buffet, with my sister, my boys, and my nieces.
I love that place.
I could survive on eating nothing but Chinese food for the rest of my life.
Ribs, General Tso, those fried buttered green beans, and their little Tiramisu squares.
So yummy!
Here's the girls posing in front of the antique bird cage at the restaurant.
Susan is on the left, Skye is on the right.
Susan who is 4, wished me a happy 8th birthday.
I said 8?!
She said "Yes aunty Kat, happy 8th birthday!"
Hey, I'll gladly knock off 30 years. ha ha
Man, wouldn't it be fun to be a kid again?
They gave me a big balloon, a really pretty card, and a Penelope Pussycat, t-shirt.
I absolutely loved the Pepe Le Pew cartoons, and how love struck he was for her until she would return his affections.
Then he would freak out and attempt to run away from her, and just when he thought he was safely hidden, she would pop up and say "mew".
Penelope Pussycat is Pepe Le Pew's object of affection, and also caused him to show his true fear of commitment.
She didn't have a name for many of the episodes she was in, until 1954 when her master called her Penelope. She was mis-named as both Fifi and Fabrette, but her mother's name was Fifi.
It wasn't until the 1995 "Carrotblanca", where advertisements for the short credited her as "starring Penelope Pussycat in her first speaking role".
And now I'm home alone, with my sister taking the teens to her house for the night.
The house will be quiet, no beeping video games, no bickering over whose turn it is, and just time alone to actually watch a movie all the way through with no interruptions, and sit around in my undies if I want to.
I am going to watch The Lookout.
Synopsis:
Chris "Slapshot" Pratt (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), whose once bright future has been dimmed by a severe head injury, is a night janitor at a bank. Lonely and frustrated, Chris falls prey to a con man's seductive promise of romance and a better life, and agrees to help rob the bank where he works.
The preview looked good, and it's gotten some really great reviews on Amazon and from Netflix users, with an average rating of 4.5 stars. (out of 5)
I'm going to answer some more of the emails that have piled up, I do want to respond to everyone who has sent me supportive comments and emails over the last few days.
I really appreciate everyone who has offered to help out should I need to fly back for the child support hearing.
I don't think it will come to that, I hope not, but if it does, it means so much to me that so many people would help me get there, and fight for the fair amount of child support that is long over due.
I thought about taking that entry and placing it in draft mode so that if he or his friends, or his latest bimbo girlfriend of the month, Googled across it, they wouldn't know what's going on, but then I said no.
The motion to modify has been filed, he has already been served, he knows that a hearing is inevitable, he just doesn't know that they know he lied.
But he shouldn't have lied in the first place, and I have done nothing wrong, I have no reason to hide what's going on.
It's not me who would be prosecuting him for failure to pay his taxes for a few years, it would be the state of Maine Attorney General, and possibly the IRS.
I simply wanted a fair and reasonable amount of child support, based on the actual wages of a business owner, not imputed minimum wage, because he doesn't make minimum wage.
And that's all I have to say about that for now, because today has been a good day, and I don't wanna spoil it with any of that headache.
I'll let you know how the movie is.
Hopefully.
I am so bad about writing movie reviews.
I watch so many, and I really do plan to review them all, and then I get caught up in other stuff and forget.
If I don't get a review of this one up by tomorrow afternoon Kim, send me an email and tell me to get my ass in gear.
Later days.
I've been very lazy today, I haven't even taken a shower yet!
I need to get in there and take a shower, get dressed, and all that, so I can be ready when sis gets here.
We've been playing video games and then watched 30 days of Night.
I'll watch it again by myself tonight, I was busy multi-tasking while it was on, so I missed some stuff that was happening.
But what I did see, I liked very much.
I like the idea of ancient vampires who just feed and are brutal killers.
It's not the romanticized version of vampires normally seen in movies.
I have another movie to watch tonight too, it's called the Lookout.
Hopefully it's good.
Ok, I need to get moving here. Ack!
I'm always so late getting ready for stuff.
I tried to go to bed, but I have a raging migraine, so I can't sleep.
It just keeps on pounding away.
It needs to be gone by the time I do wake up tomorrow.
I have things to do, a birthday dinner to eat, a birthday cake to wish upon, and a night alone to watch some vampires kill people in Alaska.
And then on Sunday, I promise I shall work out on the elliptical.
I have not done it in a few days (bad girl) because of sickness and soreness, but I will get back on schedule on Sunday.
I'll need to work off the birthday indulgence.
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, and I was taking note of all the stores he had access to, all the food and weapons he had stockpiled, and me being a girl, I know I would have been taking some of that free 
I wish I had saved all of those, but when I moved here I sold almost everything I owned at the yard sale of spectacular deals.
and 
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yet?
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