My Single Mom Life

I still have some bad feelings about an on-line company I used to work for, bitter, nasty feelings.
I have even more of those bitter, nasty feelings towards one person involved in particular, and I do my absolute best to refrain from any interactions with her.
I keep myself very guarded most of the time.
Like 99.9%, I am on guard, I hold every emotion in, and I come out sounding like a robot.
It's much better to be cold and robotic, than it is to lower myself to the level she has in the past.

I've allowed myself to become too close to some of the people again, and she is one of them.
A conversation took place, I snipped back. It wasn't as nasty as it could have been, and when pressed, I immediately apologized for my brief moment of quip.
I will not lower myself any lower than that.
I will not go where she has gone, I will not say anything more on the subject.
I went too far as it was, but my emotions were high, my anger and bitterness over the previous company were running high, and I quipped when I should have bolted out of there as fast as possible, only leaving dust or the glow of some led tail lights in my absence.

My dislike of this woman runs deep.
Fakeness in people bothers me like nothing else.
Having 2 faces, one that is all sweet and kind, and the other, equipped with a wicked and sharp, forked tongue.
I make no apologies for my dislike of her, only an apology for sinking to her level.

These are things I am working on, personal character flaws of mine, that need to be dealt with so I can stay above those low levels, not allow myself to be entertained or hyped up into joining the group.
I had a very good handle on it for the last few months, but the company has become more of an issue with more of my friends dealing with issues with this company, and my wanting to help, sends me in to see the other things going on, and wham, I slipped.
I will be refraining from being part of the group of people desperately trying to make a change for the better.
I cannot help them any way, no matter how much I would like to.
And in my inability to help, and my desire to stay away from the fray, I will be able to give myself the space needed to stay away from one who can bring out the less than good human levels in me.
I strive to be the best human I can be, I do make mistakes, but I am the only one who can make myself better, so I'll take the steps needed to do so.
Friends can still email me for advice, but there will be no more joining in the conversations, because I find myself sinking to those levels which make me ashamed of myself.