My Single Mom Life

There is not much going on here, it's been one of those very quiet days where you just sit and think, watch stupid tv shows, and try not to sweat to death.
I could complain that it's hot outside, but I won't.
I know that it will be much hotter for Mark when he has to mow the lawn later.
I'll still be inside the house where it's at least 30 degrees cooler.

I have a great deal on my mind and it's so hard to not let it spill all out and flow all over everything.
And you might say, why not Kat? Why not let it all out, why hold it all in?
And to that I have to say because it's mine.
It's all my stuff, I own it all, and there is so much bad already out there, and everybody has their own bad they carry, why add more to the pile?
I don't buy into any of that Pollyanna bs, but I do have to find a way to deal with my stuff that doesn't affect every one else.
But I also need things from people, and let me tell you, it is terribly disappointing when you're told over and over that you will have what you need, but then it never comes.
I'm holding onto problems that aren't mine, and I need to stop that.
If people don't want to come through with what they are supposed to, it's not me, it's not my fault, and even though it makes me angry and disappoints me, I don't own it, and therefore it's not on me.
I have to stop taking it on me.
I'll do what I am supposed to, and that's all I can do.
And maybe none of this makes sense to anyone, and I'm still working it all out, I am getting there and learning that I can't make people do anything, I can only do what I'm supposed to.
I've been disappointed for days now, waiting on things, and I need to let it go because it's obviously not going to happen until they are damn good and ready to do it.

I'm going to try and make this summer fun, do fun things, at least try to.
I'm tired of sitting around waiting on everyone else, respecting them and their time, when I should just be off doing, living, enjoying, and not waiting for people who have no respect for mine.