He wants to wait another day or two.
Mark says it hurts, but he doesn't want to go to the hospital to have it looked at yet.
He wants to wait another day or two, see if the swelling and pain goes down, if it doesn't, then he'll go.
He's nearly an adult, I am trying to respect his wishes to govern his own body here, but it's hard.
My mom instincts are saying to get it looked at just to make sure it's not broken, and another part of me is saying he's an adult, he can make this decision for himself but if he waits too long to make a decision, I'll step in.
What would you do?
You are the parent, yes, but your child is 17 years old, an adult who generally makes decent decisions about his life, has never been in trouble with the law, is doing his best with his education, and has made a final decision on his life plans, what he wants to do with his life.
Would you intervene and tell him nope, momma is going to take you to the hospital because momma knows best, or would you let him make this decision for his own health, how he feels about it?
Comments
If he were still in school and really active right now, I'd say go ahead and go, but since he can keep it rested, there's not a whole lot that will make it any worse in just a day, ya know?
I'd probably only give it another day at most though. If it's still significantly swollen there's really no reason to wait it out.
[Heh, not exactly a mom opinion, but I do have a stubborn, injury-prone boyfriend so I'd say I've got a decent amount of experience in deciding when to force medical attention and when to let it pass!]
Posted by: Jade | July 20, 2008 3:37 PM
Having a boyfriend is much like having a kid.
Men are still basically boys, they love their toys, they are stubborn as hell, and still need to be taken care of. LOL
I'm only going to let it go one more day, and if it's still swollen and he's still complaining, he's going whether or not he wants to.
Posted by: Kat | July 20, 2008 3:47 PM
I have had a 17 year old son (he is now 36) and I would not have let him wait. You are still the parent and if you would have taken him when he was 7, you can make him go with you when he is 17. You can't be a friend to your kids, you have to continue to take the responsibility for their health until he is 18 at least. Doing so shows you care, not that you don't respect him. Just my opinion...
Posted by: Carol | July 20, 2008 4:02 PM
When my daughter was 17, I left it up to her. She knew if she was in enough pain to need to see a doctor. I did make sure that I helped her manage her symptoms & kept an eye on her, if it got to be something I was extremely worried about, I played the mom card & took her in anyway.
Posted by: Dyane | July 20, 2008 4:10 PM
I'm not trying to be his friend, I'm trying to decide what is the right thing to do.
It's not black and blue, so it's probably not broken, but most likely just sprained and swollen.
I've told him if it's still swollen and hurt tomorrow, he's definitely going.
It's not that I don't care, because believe me I do, but I also do have to try and respect him.
It's not about being his friend at all, it's about treating him as an adult who knows his own body.
If he doesn't feel like it's an emergency, like it's not broken today, then I'm going to let him wait one more day, and only one more day.
Posted by: Kat | July 20, 2008 4:10 PM
I'm sure he's capable of knowing if he needs to go to emergency right now or not. But I agree with you that if it's still swollen in the morning, go and get it checked.
My eldest is 16 and it's hard to not play the "mummy card" on him all the time. When we went to the social security office and they were asking him questions, I had to stop myself from answering for him...lol
Posted by: Tina | July 20, 2008 7:09 PM
trust your own instincts, you are doing all the right things. Love You!!!!
Posted by: Mom | July 21, 2008 7:58 AM
Let's see--he still lives under your roof, he's 17....take him..period
Posted by: Pete B | July 21, 2008 2:36 PM
How is his hand doing today?
Posted by: Sara | July 21, 2008 2:43 PM