My Single Mom Life

Every night at bedtime, the teens and I usually get into a deep or disturbing conversation.
I really think they do it in the hopes that I'll be so involved in it that I'll lose track of the time and they'll get to stay awake longer.
Tonight's conversation was about pooping, more specifically, getting it all out by whatever means necessary.
They wanted to know about stool softeners, asked exactly how a colon cleanser works, why it is sometimes a different color, all kinds of crazy poop questions.
I swear, they did it to stay up later and be funny, and also have a moment of extreme grossness.

So I decided to gross them out.
I told them all about what happened to me during my last surgery, and the 3 times per day every day, stool softeners I was given.
I explained how the anesthesia combined with the constant IV injections of high dose, mega strength opiate pain relievers, turn the contents of your bowels into cement bricks, so they make you take a lot of stool softeners to get you moving again.
Well after 3-4 days of taking them 3 times a day, things certainly did get moving.

I started to explain exactly how well they worked, the color, the consistency, the smell, the hour of the night it happened, and that was as far as I got.
They both stopped me from going any further, Mark said "Oh! Look at the time! It's 11:39pm! We have school in the morning!", and they both darted off to their beds.

I think I've finally figured out how to stop the crazy conversations right before bed every night.
Just gross them out with stories of my bodily functions.
I really should have thought of this years ago.