I feel violent now.
I got a phone call from the principal at a little after 3pm, but I was in the middle of an email with my sister and some others, so that's why I'm just now updating this.
Basically, the principal said that this was the first time she has heard about this kind of issue, and when I told her that it's because the students are afraid to speak out about it because they have been threatened with being beaten up, she still insisted that if she doesn't know about it, she can't do anything to resolve the issue.
She said if anything like that happens again, that the boys need to go to her office right when it's happening, and tell her right as it happens.
Yeah, being threatened with an ass kicking is really going to motivate students to go tattle tale right then and there huh?
That's like walking around with a big sign that says I just told on you, come kick my ass please.
I don't even know what my next step should be.
I want to alert the media, but the principal saying this is the first time she's heard about it, it will make it seem like it was a one time incident, and that it doesn't happen every day, that my sons and the friends who've been to my house, are all lying about what happens, exaggerating it, and the media will want to interview my sons on camera, and that's like another big sign that says I told on you, come kick my ass please.
When I told the boys what she said to do if it happens, they both looked at me like I was crazy.
They said "Mom, some of these kids are fucking huge huge kids, some of them are football players, some of the hispanics bring knives to school, they get in fights all of the time, we've seen them beat the piss out of people, if we go tell what happened, we'll get beaten up or stabbed or some shit. Fuck it, we just won't eat. If we have to choose between tattling then getting beat up, or just not eating, we just won't eat."
So what the hell do I do now?
If I go to the media, they will want to interview the boys or they won't report the story, the boys will be on tv, and then they'll surely get beat up.
I so wish I wasn't in the shape I am in, I would go to the school every day, take pictures, hang out in the cafeteria, and film what happens myself, post it all up on youtube, label it as the name of the high school and where, just and start being a royal pain in the ass to the principal, force her to do something.
Most of these bullies don't know that I'm the teens mom, there are several different middle schools, school choice rules etc, so I could sit in the cafeteria and take pics and the boys wouldn't get blamed if these rotten asshole bullies got suspended or something.
This whole thing is frustrating me, but what do I do?
Make the boys tattle every single day directly to the principal, if she's even in her office, risk them getting beat up in order to try and make eating lunch safe again?
Is it worth it to try and force the school to have more adults in the cafeteria at the risk of my sons getting beat up?
Go to the media and have the teens filmed telling what happens, which will get them beaten up, called names, and bullied even worse?
She said she will try to have more supervisors in the cafeteria, but that she cannot guarantee that things will be seen by anyone, and as for the frozen turkey sandwich, she is still investigating that part of the story.
None of the lunch ladies admit to not serving Mark his hot lunch like they were ordered not to, so she will have to go through the computer records for the keypad where the students type in their student number after the lunch lady enters in which type of lunch the student was served.
If he was served a sub lunch, it will be a certain number code, hot lunch is a different number code, the salad bar and $2 a slice pizza bar, is another number code.
If he was given the sub lunch and the lunch lady entered that code, then he entered his student number, it will prove what kind of food he was served, but she does not believe that he was given a frozen turkey sandwich.
She said the sub lunches are simply pre-packaged cold lunch meat sandwiches for students who choose not to have a hot lunch that day, and she doesn't think that his sandwich was frozen.
Basically, she is calling Mark a liar.
Both the boys have said that the lady who ordered them not to serve him his lunch, is like a big bitch meanie, not the head lunch lady, but just a bitch who barks orders at the other ladies, yells at students, and is usually just standing around not doing anything other than yelling at people, and is not usually a supervisor during lunch.
The principal did admit though that the usual supervisor was not there yesterday or today, so she doesn't know who pulled Mark out and forced him to eat the sub lunch, or even if he was forced to get the sub lunch at all.
I really just want to go up there and speak to her face to face, she was doing everything she could to get me off of the phone.
She kept saying that she can't do anything if the students don't tell an adult, and I kept saying they have told adults and no one does anything.
They complain about the line cutters, the bullies, the ones who push them out of line and call them cracker, to the adults in the cafeteria, to actual teachers, and none of the adults in the cafeteria do anything at all about it, and that's why so many students have just given up on even trying to eat lunch at all.
Tattling to an adult doesn't get them any help at all, so most of the students just don't even bother trying anymore.
They either bring a bag of chips and a soda in their backpack and eat that for lunch, or they just don't eat at all, and wait until they get home from school to eat.
Thinking back on this, I now realize how many times the teens would ask me at night if we could go to the corner store, get a small bag of chips and a soda to take to school, maybe a beef jerky stick or two.
I thought they just wanted a snack, something to be different, or just a treat.
They were just trying to have something to freaking eat.
I never put 2 and 2 together.
I never connected the bully line cutters and the mom can we get a soda and chips to take to school, together like the puzzle pieces I should have seen.
I can't go to the school tomorrow, I have a doc appointment in the morning and won't make it back in time for B lunch period, but I am going to do everything I can to go to the school on Monday, I'll take my camera, and the lunch room has plenty of windows so I won't have to use the flash, and I'll just start snapping pics.
I'll post them to my blog, I'll take videos and post them on youtube, I'll make a total pain in the ass of myself to get the principal to actually investigate this fully, to hire more resource officers for the lunch periods if need be, enforce the anti-bullying policy on the actual bullies, and I'm going to email these last few posts to the local news channel.
I'm not dropping this.
Comments
What sucks the worst is that these kids know that if they say anything they run the risk of getting their asses kicked or worse. NO kid should be afraid to tell an adult when something like this is going on, ESPECIALLY in school. The schools are legally responsible for protecting the students from situations just like this. This is so totally wrong, and what's even worse is that you, in the physical shape you are in, now have to take the time to go up there to get the proof when we all know that the principal is lying their ass off about this being the first time they've heard anything about this.
This isn't even happening to my kids and my own blood is boiling over this BS! What do they want? Do they want kids to feel so scared and threatened that they take measures into their own hands because the adults in this school who are supposed to be looking out of them and taking care of them flat out REFUSE to do so? I wish I lived close to you, I'd go up there myself so that you wouldn't have to! Hell, you SHOULDN'T have to do this in the first place!
Posted by: Holly | December 4, 2008 6:03 PM
Just a suggestion but have you thought about home schooling them , really it sounds dangerous out there.. I do have to tell you my son was getting bullied by a few kids at school when school let out , one was on crutches he is in junior high at the time .. I got tired of it so I did go to the school when it let out with my video camera and sat in my car and taped them doing what they was doing to my son.
its just funny how the principal looks the other way when things happen and then just happen turn around when my kid hit back .. so I promptly got out of my car after taping this walked up to the principal and showed him the tape .. he right away took the other two boys back in the school and called there parents , sure my son got bullied more at school after that but the teachers was watching out and caught them a few times and it ended after that .
thus the end of the year went fine..
but sounds like your is a little more intense..
Take care..
Toni
Posted by: Toni | December 4, 2008 6:45 PM
I am so sorry that this is happening to your family. We live in a wealthy community (trust me, we are not rich) and the problems here are similar. There are very few minorities here, and bullying isn't the biggest problem, but school officials totally ignoring any problems is the exact same.
My daughter had her 2nd friend in 2 years overdose and die last year. The school refuses to acknowledge that there is a problem because it would be a blemish on their good name. I get so frustrated and when my daughter just failed 3 classes and I had no notice, I called the counselor and got nowhere. I know that they are overwhelmed, but enough is enough. I felt like you do now, just wanting to sit there until they have to listen.
It is unfair to the kids that they are subjected to that type of treatment. To feel that they have to avoid lunch is heartbreaking. They are lucky to have a mom that cares enough to make a stand. Good luck to you. I look forward to your post after you made your voice heard.
Posted by: Crista | December 4, 2008 6:54 PM
Can you call that 800 number and report it anonymously?
Posted by: Lisa | December 4, 2008 7:16 PM
I'm seriously tempted to drive down there and help, and maybe bring my licensed-LEO coworker. (He can legally carry firearms in schools.)
And can't the local media obscure your sons' identities?
Posted by: Benjamin Geiger | December 4, 2008 7:24 PM
We had a much smaller incident at the high school a couple of years ago with my niece and a girl who, for whatever reason, decided to hate her. My niece got beat up because the girl was 16 and she was 18. They did nothing at all about it. We found that out when my sister talked with a cop in that district. He knew nothing about it. Small community.
I feel so disgusted with that school system and with your principal specifically. They are there to provide education and safety to the young people in their care. This person should be out of a job, plain and simple.
As to what to do? That's a tough one. If the boys are found out, they will be beat up or hurt. Race is a huge problem and that is obviously a threat. I suspect that even the teachers are threatened. That might be why they haven't done much about it. And the principal is a liar. They do know.
Homeschooling might be an option but what happens to the next set of kids? The media should know about it.
And I realize that you are reluctant to call the federal number on the school lunch thing but the laws are being broken. This will definitely threaten the school's ability to have federal funds. That might be enough to get that principal off his butt and do something about it. I don't know. Otherwise, you do have the media.
I do hope this is resolved soon since everything gets conveniently forgotten over the holiday, at least it did here.
Posted by: Jaz | December 4, 2008 8:41 PM
Once again, as a teacher, the principal is a lying bitch. She knows.
Who does cafeteria duty? Her? The assistant principals? If not, then make a point that she needs to do it her freakin self.
I am with you. Go to the media.
If your kid reports something and then the other kids take revenge, there are rules and LAWS on the books about retribution. If the principal won't deal with it go to the media and to the superintendent.
It is time to pull out the stops. If THEY won't fix it, make suck a circus out of it that they cannot ignore it.
If the principal did not know this was happening it is even worse IMHO.
Posted by: redroach | December 4, 2008 10:09 PM
There's zero excuse for crap like this and it definitely needs to be stopped.
"Madame Principal" is either willfully ignorant, part of the problem, just plain stupid, or all of the above. Obviously teachers and staff at the school either don't care, are part of the problem, or are afraid to make any noise.
The previous commenter is absolutely right, the television news people can easily do the story without showing your kids OR using their names in the story.
I think it'd be a great idea if everybody were to blog about this until there's something done about it. I've already written about it myself.
http://iamnotahamster.net/2008/12/04/todays-pita-the-new-racism/
Long past time some of these clueless Yutz's learned the power of the "New Press".
Posted by: Selif | December 4, 2008 11:17 PM
Homeschooling is a great idea. The one problem I see with it is, what about families who can't do it? It's pretty much undoable if the parents must work outside of the home. And in your case, Kat, health issues might keep you from doing it.
But the thing is, if enough parents could pull their kids out of this lame excuse for a school, then maybe something would be done.
As for going to the media, I agree with what's been said here already. No one can LEGALLY put your minor children on camera without your consent. I've seen plenty of expose news stories where even adults choose not to be identified on camera, but still talk to the reporters. And yes, it is all because of fear of retaliation.
The school administration is just hoping that you will just go away and shut the fuck up. Don't. You have a very legitimate complaint here, and you should do what you can to solve it, not just for your boys, but for all other kids who have to deal with this shit.
Good luck.
Posted by: Christine | December 5, 2008 4:03 AM
Keep protesting, that is what the freedom of speech is about. If enough people hear about this maybe something will be done PROPERLY, and the innocent will finally be protected.
Posted by: TwoTonTilly | December 5, 2008 8:20 AM
Kat, I will take you to the school on Monday. Jeff hasn't told me about anything like this but it could be that he doesn't have the same lunch period. You let me know what the game plan is ok?
Posted by: Mindy | December 5, 2008 8:58 AM
you might try talking to other parents whose kids are also being picked on and threatened and go as a group to the next school board meeting. Perhaps that will light a fire under the principal and force him/her to do his/her job. Your boys should not feel scared to eat lunch.
Posted by: Linda | December 5, 2008 1:26 PM
OH man Kat, this is just a shame, I sooo feel for your kids and the other kids too... Does your state have a charter school like Ohio does like an ECOT school? Still public school just kids go to school from home? They are taught by teachers, not parents. My son attends www.ohdela.net. (an example). There has to be other options.... I definitely call someone in the media maybe start with the newspaper? get a reporter in there, how about the police department?? Something, you and your kids should not have to battle this alone!!!
Posted by: Susan | December 5, 2008 10:25 PM