My Single Mom Life

I am always thinking about how to better myself, how to be a better mother, a better friend, a better human being.
I have faltered at times throughout my life in all of those areas.
When I first got divorced and became a single mom, I didn't think I could do it on my own, I thought the boys needed a man in their lives, their own father didn't want much of anything to do with them, he was far too busy with his band and his groupies.
Heck, he still is after 15 years, but the boys needed a man, or so I believed.
I went from one failed relationship to another, repeatedly.
I then thought I had found a really great guy, we spent 2 amazing years together, he loved my sons as his own, he called them his, they called hm "Daddy A". (Name withheld for privacy)
Then one night he didn't come home.
For 3 days I panicked, worried, freaked out, had my friend with contacts at the police and fire departments make some calls, he wasn't dead or locked up, so where was he?
It seems that he had gone out that night after work and had one of those love at first sight experiences that everyone talks about, and that's why he didn't come home.
When he did, he was there to pack his things.
He apologized like crazy, told me how sorry he was, how much he loved me, but this woman, he knew that this woman was his soul mate, he had to go.

I was really angry at first, then it hit me and I fell apart.
I was a giant heaping, sobbing, destroyed mess on my kitchen floor.
Another friend had been trying to call me, it wasn't like me to not answer the phone, so she came over and found me on the floor just crying uncontrollably, my sons in their high chairs eating hot dog and french fries, scared.
Mommy was on the floor, crying, babbling, a mess.
My friend picked me up off of the floor and took me to my bed and tucked me in it.
She got my boys things together and took them to her house for the night so I could rest, cry, slam things, whatever I needed to do.
What I ended up doing was calling my sister here in Florida and asking if we could come live with her, if there was work, help me, my life has fallen apart and I can't deal with it anymore, help me.
I ended up having a yard sale in which I sold everything that I could move from the third floor apartment down to the driveway, bought 3 one-way plane tickets, and left, all in a matter of 3 days.
I ran from my life there.

In "Wake Up Your Life", Doris Roper shares how 1 woman interfered in all of her major relationships, and how it became her wake up call to change her life.
She chose the moment that her life came crashing down around her to do something about it, to look inside herself to find out what it was about her and her reactions to things that played a part in what had happened.
She didn't run from it, not like I did, she looked inside and made the choice to change how she reacted to things in her life, she woke up.

I love reading these kinds of books because they really do help me see all the mistakes in my life, the times that I took what was happening to me and the things that hurt me, and how I allowed myself to run from it instead of taking that pain and changing how I dealt with it.
Doris Roper talks about how to take those rejections and turn it into redirection, change how it affects you, and redirect it into something positive, how forgiveness can release the power in you to be something better.

I am not at that place of forgiveness yet, I'm almost there, but I have a lot of hurt to still deal with not only from that relationship that caused me to run away, but from my failed marriage.
I know now that I was young, it was a stupid thing to do, and I know that at the time I had alarms going off like crazy, and I completely ignored them.
I don't regret my marriage, without it I wouldn't have the 2 most amazing sons a mother could ever ask for, but I know that I ignored all the warning signs that the marriage was doomed from the start.
I thought love could conquer all, love could make it all better, but that only works if both people feel the same way, want it, and are mature.

I will probably read "Wake Up Your Life" a few more times, the words in it are really hitting home for me, helping me wake up and see how I sabotaged myself and still do.
I totally recommend it for any woman who is limiting themselves, ignoring their own inner voices, and wants to change how they react to what's going on around them to help make better choices, better reactions to what may feel like the end of the world.

For more information, you can read more about this book on Amazon by clicking here.

I am so very pleased to be a stop on author Doris Roper's Virtual Blog Tour.
Each time a visitor comments here or on any or all of the other blog stops, they will be entered in a random drawing for a 6 month Gold membership to The Smart Woman's Success Connection.
This membership has everything one needs to know for money management including information about having a financial plan and starting a business, and includes a copy of her book in audio and PDF.
Please share your thoughts and comments today with Doris.
She will try to check in throughout the day to answer questions.
To purchase her book please click here.
For more information about Doris Roper and her virtual tour, check the schedule here.

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