My Single Mom Life

I couldn't sleep on Monday night, and I didn't even get a nap in on Tuesday afternoon because Verizon was here installing the Fios internet.
The guy was here for about 3 hours or so, he had to run some new lines into my house because the lines that were there on the outside of the house, had all been cut by someone.
That's really weird, who would cut the lines every so many feet?

Anyway, by the time he left, I had a massive migraine and was dead exhausted, but I still had to make dinner for the teens before I could get some sleep.
So I made dinner and tried wicked hard to stay awake, but the tiredness was totally winning out.
I went and laid on the couch and set the alarm to wake me up in 2 hours, I just needed to take a quick nap so that I could get back up and do the rest of what I needed to do.

So I slept for 2 hours starting at 7:30pm, woke up at 9:30pm, and then I went and did all of the dishes that I needed to do from dinner, and I picked up the rest of the mess that got made by the Fios guy.
I had to put my coffee table back where it's supposed to be, I had to fix my monitor again, he moved it, ugh, he moved it from it's perfect spot and position, and it took me nearly 20 minutes to set it right again.
OCD is a terrible thing man, it's just very disruptive to my peace and well being to have my things moved around and things got dropped on the floor under my desk, and so yeah, it was kind of hard for me to have him here for 3 hours touching my stuff, moving things, dropping things.

Once I got everything picked up and back in place, finished the dishes, I was ok again, I could relax for the rest of the night.
I went to bed around 2am, which is actually very early for me, I usually don't go to sleep until 5 or 6am, and I slept until around 11am, which is very late for me, I actually got some sleep for a change which was nice.

The teens went to the store and picked up subs for dinner, some eggs so I can finally make the cake that Sebastian has been asking me to make for like a week now, and I talked on the phone to a friend who is dealing with the same stuff I have been dealing with.
Chronic pain, depression, medication and being accused of being a drug addict.
She has been dealing with it for 20 years, her family won't even speak to her, and when they do, it's negative, it's not understanding, it's misinformed about chronic pain and medication to treat that pain.
It was very helpful to talk to her because it helped me see that I am not the only one dealing with this kind of thing, and that no matter how hard it is, no matter how much it hurts to have people think that, that we know the truth, our doctors know the truth, and someday, or maybe even never, other people will learn the truth, they will get educated on chronic pain and medication. They will learn that the meds don't get us "high" or "stoned", that it's impossible for us to get messed up on them due to tolerance after years and years of being on the medication, that we sign contracts with our pain management doctors and if we break those contracts by doing any illegal drugs, that we will be kicked out of their office and blacklisted to all other pain doctors in the state that we live in.
Those contracts will be broken if we do any illegal drugs, and they will know if we do any illegal drugs because they urine test us every single month when we go in for our regular every 30 day appointment.
Our doctors can even call us up for random drug testing if they want to.
They can call us and tell us that we need to be at their office at a certain time that day, and we have to take a urine drug test, and if we test positive for any drugs other than what they prescribe us, that's it, the contract is broken, we get kicked out and blacklisted.
I have passed every single drug test, regular monthly testing and random call-up testing, for as long as I have been seeing pain management doctors, which is now 5+ years.
Someday, I hope, the people who think that I'm doing illegal drugs, will realize that I'm not, that they will get educated about chronic pain and the medication.
Until that day comes though, there is nothing that I can do except to cut the negativity out of my life, keep doing what my doctors tell me to do, and to keep trying to live my life the best way that I can for me and my sons.

Later days.