My Single Mom Life

I've been down and out of it for so long now, depressed, off in my own world inside of my head, angry, upset, scared, and feeling incredibly alone, an isolation that was destroying me from the inside out.
My sons had to grow up too fast over these 3+ years, they had to take care of me and each other after the surgeries, and because of that plus my depression, they missed out on a lot, lost some of their childhoods, and for that, I will always be sorry.
Most of what happened in our lives was beyond any of our control, the surgeries had to be done, but when I started to get depressed, I tried to deal with it on my own and that was a mistake.
I knew deep down that I couldn't, but I didn't want to admit that I needed help, I thought it would pass, because in the past when I started feeling bad, it always did pass on it's own without help.
That was a mistake I made this time, and now that I asked for and got help, I see very clearly that it was a mistake.
Now that I am starting to come out of the depression and come back around to being my old self, I am seeing very clearly mistakes that I made and other things, and I am taking back control of my life.
Last night was an eye opener around here, I'm not going to talk about what happened, but it showed me just how out of control things were, and so now I'm taking back control, I'm going to take back my life and my home and family, and not allow things to get to the point that they had gotten to ever again.

I also need to get back on track with my work, because of everything that has been going on, I lost focus and drive, and I am not ok with that, I am not ok with how I've handled myself concerning work over the last 5+ months or so, so I'm taking that back too.
I almost feel like I need business plan consultants to help me get back on track, to help me schedule my time better, but I think I can do it on my own, I was doing it very well before the depression started, so I should be able to pick this up and do what needs to be done every single day again, get my organization back, schedule my time better again.
I feel really good today after having a massive breakthrough last night.
There are still some things that will not be fixed for a long time, I still have some anger to deal with, but I'm working on it and I know that in time things will be ok again, things will be back to how they were before I lost myself.
I found myself again last night, I missed being that person, and so did my sons.
My breakthrough last night lifted all of us back up, it was a huge sigh of relief being let out last night, and so yeah, I know that we are all going to be ok again.
I'm coming back around, and it feels really good to be back.