Kitties, pictures, and belonging.
I have 112 more emails/comments to answer, I am working through them as best that I can, but it's going to take me awhile, I apologize.
I had said that Mark stayed home, he wanted to be here to take care of the cats, and his other reasons, and he watched the segment Wednesday morning.
He said that as soon as it was my part, when I started talking, all of the kitties came running into the living room to try and find me.
All of the 4 cats get really upset when I'm not home, and they get really upset when I go away and don't come back for a long time, like gone overnight, so when they heard my voice through the tv, they came running to greet me, they thought I came back.
Mark said that they were really confused when they didn't see me in the living room but I was still talking.
That's when Nova saw me on the tv.
She ran to it, stood on her back legs, and tried to touch me through the screen.
Then Kali realized that I was "in the box", she got up on the tv stand and started pawing at the tv and meowing loudly.
Then Shahiro did the same on the other side of the tv stand.
Mark said Carmine was freaking out, he was running all over the room, up on the couches, jumping up on the coffee table, running to the tv and meowing, pawing at it, all of the kitties were crying he said, confused and upset, they could hear me and see me, but couldn't get to me.
That made me feel bad, just thinking of my kitties all crying and confused like that.
When we got home around midnight, they all came running to see me, meowing, rubbing all over me, following me as I unpacked, mewing like crazy, and pretty much wherever I went, they were all right with me.
When I finally laid down to get some sleep around 8am, Kali, Shahiro and Carmine all laid on the couch with me, and Nova laid on the back of the couch within reaching distance so I could pet her every few minutes till I passed out.
From left to right, here's Gary, me, and Randy.
From left to right, Joanne, Randy, Gary, and me.
It's really just so cool to have people who look like me.
I can totally see my face in theirs, their faces in mine, and features of both of my sons match all 4 of us.
It's really an amazing feeling, I can't even really describe how this feels.
I may have been able to hold back the tears on the show, but I keep looking at these pictures and crying.
It was really so awesome meeting them, I can't wait to get in touch and stay in touch, figure out holidays, all of it, this is what I've been searching for my whole life, where I belonged.
I think all adoptees have that feeling, where do we belong, do we look like someone, is there anyone out there that is a part of me.
I have that now.
I finally have that feeling of belonging, fitting, looking like someone, that empty feeling from knowing that you were adopted, from knowing that out there somewhere may be someone who is like you but you have never found them, is finally filled up.
It's all so overwhelming, I'm like exploding on the inside, all of the years that I just never thought I would find anyone, I had pretty much given up on it, and now all I want to do is see them again, talk to them, any kind of communication with them to get to know them better, to start making up for the lost time.
The size of my family just exploded, I have all of these people in the families of my siblings who are so thrilled for all of us, they can't wait to meet me, and I can't even tell you how that feels, it's so hard to explain.
And none of what I feel about this, about finding my siblings and being welcomed into their families, can ever take away from what I feel about my adoptive family.
I love my Mom and Dad so much, they raised me, took care of me, loved me like I was their own birth child, they never made me feel like I didn't belong, I belong with them too, this is a different kind of feeling, this is the empty spaces being filled, all of those empty places where there were no answers, those places are finally filled and I don't want my family to think that they aren't my family anymore, they will always be my family, they are my family.
My family just got a lot bigger is all.
Comments
Now that you have found your siblings, will any of them be able to help you figure out your medical history?
Posted by: bluepaintred | September 25, 2009 2:30 AM
That was beautiful and I love the pictures you all look great... I think when your done with your story writing it you should submit it someplace its a beautiful story and so uplifting...
Posted by: draven | September 25, 2009 3:31 AM
I know all about the kitty thing! Pumpkin especially gets upset over Mike being gone, especially all the time that he was in the hospital. I would sometimes call Mike at the hospital and put the phone on Pumpkin's ear, so Daddy could talk to him. He would always go crazy at the sound of Daddy's voice, and start meowing.
Cats just know. I'm not sure how well they can really see a TV screen, but they sure do know their humans' voices.
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If I had been shopping at Dow Furniture, and saw Gary & Randy together, I'd have been sure that they were brothers, too. No doubt about it! As with you and Joanne. I see it in all of you.
And when I saw the pics of you all as kids, I thought, oh, they look like Mark and Sebastian when they were little!
Looking forward to the next chapter of this most amazing story!
Posted by: Christine | September 25, 2009 3:35 AM
Family is what you make of it. You have an overflowing cornucopia. How neat is that?
Posted by: Mindy | September 25, 2009 7:36 AM
We are all happy for you and have no quams about this at all. You will always be my baby girl. Nothing can change that. I Love you!!!!
Mom
Posted by: Mom | September 25, 2009 8:20 AM
As the mother of an adopted daughter, your experience has been very instructive for me in helping me to understand how she might feel, and how important it will be for her to meet her birth parents (if she wants to).
I'm just so happy for you.
Posted by: Chris | September 25, 2009 8:35 AM
Wow Kat! How freakin amazing is this!?!?! I'm very happy for you and the teens. I think this is one of those stories that can become something even bigger. I'm not sure how it all works, but I bet you could get someone to do something with all of this. This is a Lifetime movie and a half! I know just finding them is amazing, but sharing the story even more could give courage or even just ideas to others in a similar situation. Contact someone. Let me know when you are headed to the Red Carpet! What ever comes of this, I hope it only brings you peace, love, and happiness. I'm also very happy you and your parents are working things out. What a difference a day makes. I know you're doing your best to keep up right now. Don't push it. Do what you can, when you can. You've had a lot to deal with this year. I can't wait to hear more, but I will.
Posted by: gina | September 25, 2009 2:00 PM
love the grown up pictures..beautiful...my fave will always be that pic of little you with the pickle...lol
Posted by: Roe | September 25, 2009 2:25 PM
You look beautiful, by the way.
Posted by: bibi | September 25, 2009 9:37 PM
I am very happy for you. True story: I read your blog faithfully but hadn't this week until tonight. The other morning watching (what I now know was you) - I thought to myself -that sounds like Kat. I knew from reading that you were adopted and from Maine. I also knew watching that you had a spinal fusion. You did not look awkward. I swear. I just recognize it because I move and sit in a similar manner. I kind of dismissed the thought because in the picture on this blog you look different. Anyway, when I came to your site tonight, I could hardly believe it!! I am SOOO super happy that you found your siblings and that you had a fun trip to NY. You deserved something good to happen. I am just so happy. I am sitting here smiling.
Posted by: Ann | September 25, 2009 11:38 PM
Oh my goodness, Kat! I don't read blogs for a week and when I come back something HUGE like this has happened! I'm so happy for you, this is amazing! I immediately went to the Today website to see the video clip. You looked great! I really don't know what to say, this is so amazing. *HUGS*
Posted by: Kirsi | September 26, 2009 3:20 PM
Hello ~ I'm not sure if you know/realize this, but you have A LOT of cousins out there... and I'm one of them. My father is/was Joan's brother, which means I'm your 1st cousin. I have 2 step-children and one older sister who has 2 kids.
Anyway, I certainly don't want to overwhelm you. I can't really imagine how you're feeling.
Email me once things have calmed down for you.
Take care and enjoy your new siblings! Carla
Posted by: Carla | September 28, 2009 4:29 PM
Awe kitties, they love their mama! The pictures look so great, you all look so much alike! You look so pretty Kat, you photograph very well. :)
Posted by: Karri | September 30, 2009 10:38 PM