My Single Mom Life

Stress that is.

Oh to be a cat and be able to sleep wherever and whenever I wanted.
That would truly be the awesome.
Shahiro has taken over my Publix shopping bags and claimed them as her bed.
They do look rather comfy don't they?

I have been so stressed out over these last few days, I'm feeling so overwhelmed with the situation with Mark and his health care.
It is on my mind constantly while waiting for a call back from a Medicaid specialist who is apparently the only one who can answer all of the questions that I have regarding his coverage.
How long will he be covered for?
Is it to age 18 or is it 21?
Or is it for longer due to my being disabled?
Will his surgeries be covered or will I have to fight like I did for myself for 4 and a half years?
Can I take him to see the specialist at All Children's Hospital and have it be covered, or will I need to pay for that consultation out of pocket?

Oh to be a cat and find that one little strip of sun coming through the window, and fit whatever part of my body will fit into that warm sunny patch.
I love how Nova the fat no-tail kitty finds that one little strip of sun, and puts her nose into it and falls into a deep sleep.
I wish I could sleep like that.

I have barely slept at all these last days, probably no more than 6 hours in total since Thursday night.
That was the last time that I got more than 5 hours of sleep.
It's been a game of hurry up and wait.
Mark's doctor said that he needs to go see the neurosurgeon immediately, but we have to wait for Medicaid to approve the referral.
Mark's doctor said that he needs to start physical therapy immediately to strengthen his core muscles, but we have to wait for Medicaid to approve the referral for that too.
These are all things that the Medicaid specialist can answer for me, but I have to wait for them to call me back.
I called them first thing Monday morning, bright and early one minute after the office opened for the day, 9:01am.
The call intake worker took all of our information, said that they were passing it on to the specialist people, and that someone would call me back within 24 to 48 hours.
If I don't hear from someone by the close of office hours tomorrow, I will have to call them back first thing on Thursday morning, and play the waiting game again.
It's very frustrating and stressful.
Hurry up and wait.
Hurry, he needs to see the neurosurgeon.
Hurry up and wait.
Hurry, he needs to start physical therapy immediately.
Hurry up and wait.

Oh to be one of these lovely cats and just fall fast asleep and be at rest for hours.
I love how they can just lay anywhere, lay any way that their bodies want to, and be totally comfortable and able to sleep.

Every time that I lay down to try and sleep, I cannot get comfortable.
My body aches everywhere and I know that the stress is a huge factor in that.
When I'm in better moods, my body isn't so painful when it comes time to sleep, I'm able to just relax and sleep when I'm happy, at peace.
But stress makes my muscles tighten up and spasm all night long, sleep is nearly impossible.
I toss and turn all night long, I hear every single noise going on in the house.
The creaking of the teens beds as they roll over, the cats eating their food or getting a drink, the cats playing or fighting, or knocking things over as they play or fight, Sebastian's occasional snores, Mark clearing his throat, both of the teens mumbling in their sleep about WoW or Nazi zombies they have to fight in their video games.
All of the noises and sounds of the house and it's occupants all night long as I struggle to get even just one hour of sleep.

Oh to be one of my lovely cats who are all sleeping again right now in all of their favorite places.
Nova asleep and drooling on my sandals, Kali under the coffee table, Shahiro on the back of the couch, and Carmine in his box by laundry basket.
I can only hope to be able to sleep even half as well as they can.
I'd love to be able to sleep as well as they do even for just one night.
That would be awesome.