Letting him go.
DISCLAIMER
Before anyone asks or decides to make a judgment about me blogging too much information about my kids and their lives, Mark who is 18, and Sebastian who is 17, have read this post and both have agreed that it could published.
It was edited to their wishes which I have always respected when it comes to blogging about them.
Stress is a hell of a fat burner I tell you.
This is probably one of the biggest reasons that I am so stressed out and not sleeping well, having blood pressure issues constantly, etc.
It's killing me.
Remember how I posted about Sebastian spending a month with the teens father this summer?
After a lot of talking, arguing, crying, and more talking, I've decided to let him go.
It was not an easy decision at all, it's been extremely hard on Mark and I to even talk to Sebastian about it, but after a lot of talking not just with the teens, but with many family members and friends, it was decided that letting him go would be the best thing, for him.
He needs to go and see his father and learn for himself who his father is and get the answers to any and all questions that he may have about him, about things that happened, and maybe he'll get the truth, and maybe he won't.
Sadly, my money is on him not getting 100% truth.
The ticket has been bought and stuck in the mail, it's a round trip ticket, or supposed to be, and it should be in the mailbox sometime soon, by the middle of next week at the latest.
There are rules, lots and lots of rules, some of which are no drinking, no smoking, no drugs, no piercings, no tattoos, to be allowed to visit with his Ninny and Pop-pop, (his grandparents/my parents) and that he is NOT a babysitter there to take care of his little half-sister Sixx.
If a sitter is needed, someone else needs to do it, a different family member, or hire someone.
Sebastian is there to be with his father and be able to visit with his other relatives, he is not there as a free babysitter.
These rules and others, will be written down and given to him to give his father, if he comes back and I discover that any of them have been violated, there will be hell to pay.
I have full, legal custody, he only has visitation for 6 hours on Saturdays, he's lucky that I am letting Sebastian go, so my rules will be followed or there will be trouble.
Do I sound angry?
I am, but this is something that Sebastian has to do, I know that, it just kills me to let him go.
Comments
*hugs* Even though it's killing you, you're doing the right thing. I hope everything works out for the best, and that Sebastian has no regrets.
Posted by: Jenn | June 3, 2010 7:31 PM
dont worry Ray and I will be right here if he needs us.
Posted by: shell | June 3, 2010 9:57 PM
I'm hoping his trip goes well.
Posted by: Lisa | June 3, 2010 10:52 PM
Hopefully Sebastian won't have to deal with someone who treats others like junk.
Maybe, in some freaking odd universe, something will change and he will be treated as a decent human being.
Strict rules....gotta be honest that I am 18...my parents don't want me to drink/smoke but I never have had the desire. Kinda odd considering 75% of my friends do.
Posted by: Ryan | June 3, 2010 11:18 PM
Let him find out now what you and Mark already know, that his sperm donor is a useless piece of crap. As I said before, I doubt that this guy can stay on his best behavior for a full month. I think Sebastian will see his true colors before the month is up.
And remember that he does have an escape hatch...if things get too bad, Shell or someone else can get him, and maybe take him to your parents to stay until it's time to fly home. As long as he knows that if he is not comfortable with the donor, all he has to do is pick up the phone and call for help.
I just hope that this will be a learning experience for Sebastian, and he won't end up being hurt.
And "Sixx"? I know, I knew about this, but I still can't help but ask, WHAT KIND OF A FREAKIN' NAME IS THAT? I know, she is the result of the donor's sixth donation to some woman's uterus, but still...poor kid, to be stuck with such a stupid name.
I know how hard this is for you, but Sebastian is almost an adult now, he does have to learn to make his own way, even if it includes making stupid mistakes. As long as he has family and friends there for him, he will be fine.
Posted by: Christine | June 4, 2010 1:59 AM
I am glad that he is going. It's his turn to figure out our father. And if Mark Sr., our father, hurts him like he did to me, I will be here for him when he comes home.
Posted by: Mark Jr | June 6, 2010 3:40 AM
I can't imagine how hard this must be for you, but one way or another it'll work out.
I've seen it from the other side. Mum protected me from my bio-father for as long as she could but she always tried to be objective.
When I finally met him I know she was freaking out, but it didn't take long for him to prove his true colors, and I was always grateful to know that she was there for me through that, as I know you will be for Sebastian and I'm sure he knows that too.
You're an awesome Mom. I'm always in awe of you.
Posted by: Faith | June 6, 2010 10:43 AM
I know this hurts & that you're stressed out & nervous & will be until he comes home. Make sure he calls you often, it'll help, both of you. He will always remember that you gave him the freedom to learn the truth, even though it was the last thing you wanted to do. He does have people up there that will be there for him, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will be a learning experience for him, but not a dangerous one.
Posted by: Dyane | June 7, 2010 12:13 AM