My Single Mom Life

For the last couple of weeks I have been in a total funk.
I have had absolutely no motivation to do anything at all, I have been mildly depressed and I hate to admit it, but I have to, talking about it helps, says my doctor.
I have been feeling this way ever since Sebastian told me that he had a decision to make about whether to live up in Maine for a year, or come back here and finish his education.
Every time that we talked on the phone, I have been totally supportive, telling him that no matter what he decided, I would stand behind his decision 100% even though it was ripping my heart out to even think about him not coming back home to stay.
I've done hardly anything at all, my house clearly showed what was going on with me mentally, it was a mess.
I haven't been sleeping, and I have barely eaten anything at all in weeks.
With me, the very best natural diet supplements is the thought of not having either or both of my sons with me for whatever reasons, be it an accident, going away to college, or moving away to live with the other side of the family for a year.
It was killing me inside, I ate probably once every two to three days, and you couldn't really call it eating, it was more like nibbling on a single slice of deli ham at one am or whatever.
I have been laying around on the couch most days just mindlessly watching the tv, or sitting here in my chair and mindlessly surfing the internet.
I had lost all motivation to do anything at all.
My home and work have both been suffering because of it, and I just couldn't shake it.

Then around 1:15-1:30pm this afternoon, my Mom called and then I called her right back because I have free long distance, and I talked to Sebastian for about 45 minutes.
Sebastian is spending the night with my parents to help them out around the house and go grocery shopping with my Mom in the morning because she has a hurt knee and a broken vertebrae, so she needs some help and he's great at grocery shopping, he always goes with me and he's really great at helping.
Sebastian said that he'd be home on the 18th, and I asked if he had made a decision yet because if he chose there, then we needed to hurry and try to get a child custody court date, transfer his school records etc.
He told me, "No Mom, I'm coming home on the 18th for good. I'm going to finish my school and then go to SCF for the required classes, and then try to go to Full Sail for my computer and digital art classes that I want to do for my career."

I was Soooooo happy to hear him say that!
To hear him make his education a priority, that makes me so so SO proud of him!
I feel sad that Great-Gram and Aunt Heather will be sad and miss him terribly, but his education is the #1 priority right now, when he finishes, he can go back if he chooses too.
Gah!!!! I miss him but I'm so happy that he's going to be coming home!
Yay!
Yeuuuusss!!

After I got off the phone with him, it's like my mojo came back!
Mark and I went and did the grocery shopping, and then tonight, I finally cleaned the floors like I have been saying I was going to for oh, about two weeks now.
I vacuumed the rug, and I mopped the totally sucky terrazzo flooring in the kitchen, hallway, and bathroom.
I hate the terrazzo flooring, it is so hard to get clean.
You can mop it repeatedly and it still looks filthy, it's just the way the floor is, it's this yucky stone type stuff, and nobody knows how to get it to look clean.
I've talked to people who clean for a living, and nobody knows how to get it to look good.
You can mop it over and over, your mop will wring totally clear, no more dirt is coming off of the floor or wringing out of the mop, the floor is clean, but you look at the just mopped floor, and it still looks totally gross.
Ugh.
Then I did almost all of the dishes, I have just the silverware and cups left to do, I folded all of the laundry in the drier, and I even cleaned the kitchen counters.

Hearing that my baby boy is coming home and he's going to stay home, totally brought me out of my funk.
I got my motivation back.
Sebastian is coming home on the 18th.
To stay.