I posted this to Twitter yesterday after having been up all night and totally frustrated and angry with my neighbor and her completely out of control behavior this past week and half.
I'm re-posting it here and editing it so that the words aren't all shortened and stuff, basically making it readable.
I'm also adding a little bit more to it, elaborating on some of the information because Twitter just doesn't allow room, only 140 characters, so I should have made this into a full post from the start, but I didn't.
Been up all night, wicked stressed out and having mini panic attacks because of my bitch of a neighbor, so I've been watching tons of movies and just trying, very poorly I might add, to calm down and take my mind off of everything that has happened since last Saturday with my neighbor.
All I can do is hope that karma comes for her.
I'm sure it will, it comes for everyone, eventually.
I've already seen it come round for for one person who seemed to thrive on trying to make me as miserable as possible.
I never used to believe that karma was real, but when I saw it come for that person in the exact manner that they chose to attack me, well that is when I knew that karma is very real.
What you put out there, how we ALL treat each other, good or bad, it comes back to us and it comes back 10 fold.
So I try everyday, I try to treat other people the very best that I can.
I'm trying very hard to treat people the way I want to be treated, and especially the people who treat me wrong.
I'm trying even harder to treat THOSE PEOPLE better.
No matter what they say to me or about me, I'm trying to treat them with extreme kindness, courtesy, and politeness.
My neighbor, however, is the ONLY person that I'm struggling with.
What she's done Is unforgivable.
She almost totally ruined Sebastian's birthday, she almost ripped my sons and I apart, and she caused major strife within my family with old issues, but certain family members get to say the oh so fun "I told you so".
This entire past week has been non-stop strife with my neighbor.
It's been daily, multiple times per day, harassment from her with absolutely horrible things said about me and my sons.
Mess with me all you want, but DON'T EVER mess with my sons.
I also try not to hate or even say that I hate someone, but my neighbor has just really pushed me to the very edge of my limits since Saturday May 28th.
I admit to totally losing it more than twice, and saying out loud and very loudly, I actually yelled and screamed, that I hate her, and many other truly horrible words.
I've even gone so far as to wish and say loudly that she should just drop dead right now.
One of her many medical issues will eventually (probably very soon) kill her.
The woman is morbidly obese, has diabetes, congestive heart disease, and some sort of breathing problem, (not emphysema) and she's a two pack-a-day smoker on oxygen with big warning signs on her front door to not smoke, yet she sits inside and puffs away on Pall Mall full flavor kings, and all of these things are going to kill her, probably very soon, but what she did, the things that she said, caused so much anger, hurt, and other issues/problems, that I became so furiously enraged, that I wished for her death immediately.
I don't like feeling this much anger and yes, hatred, for someone.
I don't feel good, I don't feel right inside, and it's really bothering me.
I don't like feeling hatred grow and boil-up inside of me, it just isn't a good feeling at all, and it's causing me even more stress.
I've lost my voice, I feel nauseous, and keep getting headaches, the anger and hatred is physically manifesting, it's so strong that it's making me physically sick.
By talking about my feelings, I'm hoping it will help to relieve some of these physical signs of the stress caused and brought on by the things that this woman has said and done, and continues to do.
I've now blocked all form of communication with her, she can no longer call the house phone, and I've blocked her from calling and texting my cell phone, so it's been really quiet today, thankfully.
But before I was able to block her yesterday, she sent me over 20 texts in just under 10 minutes, and all of them said horribly nasty things, and even more lies.
I saved all of these text messages to show the people that we are mutual friends with when they ask me what is going on, because she is calling and texting them with this incredibly long story full of lies, so when they (friends) say certain things, I can show them the texts from her that state the truth, not the lies she is currently telling everyone in an attempt to make herself look like she didn't do anything at all wrong.
One of my friends was absolutely floored when she saw the truth, she couldn't believe what she was reading, but there it was, along with all kinds of other nasty stuff she texted me.
I am trying so very hard to let it go, to breathe, I know that this will all pass, but it's literally been a nightmare since May 28th, so it's very difficult to let go, but I'm trying, and slowly, the anger and hatred inside of me is fading, and I hope that when it does, I get my voice back.
I've totally lost my voice, I try to speak, and nothing is coming out, so I'm trying to not talk, drinking plenty of fluids, and resting as much as I can.
