June 20, 2004

His love.

His love of music.
He has always loved music.
Brass bands, big bands, musicals.
I remember this one time as a young kid trying very hard to learn to sing a song for something we were doing at church.
He was the band leader and directed many musicals and taught young people to love that brass sound.
He had patience and was patient with me but the faces of the others at church told me I wasn't singing it right and I ran crying out to the lobby and hid in the coat rack.
I was young and didn't want to disappoint him.
He wasn't.

His love of books, all kinds, helped me continue to love books, all kinds and he still reads and finds new authors to share with me.

His love of his wife and family, has taught me how to love my family.
Undying, unwavering, faithful, stern.

A few years ago, we almost lost him.
I remember going to see him and he tried to say those words about leaving and I wouldn't let him because I just knew, it wasn't his time. No matter what anyone else said or how he felt, it wasn't his time.
And it wasn't.
He is stronger than ever and doing well.

I know I have placed this song on my site for him before but it is the song that I equate with him not just for the lyrics, but because of the horns being played in the background. Powerful, yet quiet at the same time and strong behind the scenes taking you to the end with a force that lifts you just when you feel yourself breaking and wanting to cry.
Him being there for me when I was small and slowly letting me grow and grow older and make my own decisions as well as my own mistakes.
Hair is grey and the fires are burning
So many dreams on the shelf
You say I wanted you to be PROUD of me
I always wanted that myself
Happy Fathers Day dad. I love you and am proud of you and will never forget how much you love me and just know, even though the miles separate us, that I love you.
Winter.

May 31, 2004

Taps.

"Fading light dims the sight,
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright.
From afar drawing nigh -- Falls the night.
"Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky.
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.

"Then good night, peaceful night,
Till the light of the dawn shineth bright,
God is near, do not fear -- Friend, good night."

Composed By Major General Daniel Butterfield

Army of the Potomac, Civil War

Part of an email my cousin in Iraq sent me, "Well just so ya'll
know I am doing great now. I got a new job working as a trainer for the
ICDC. The ICDC is going to be Iraq's new army when the new goverment
starts up. Its alot of work trying to turn these civilians into
soldiers but I love doing it."

May 09, 2004

I hope you all had a great mothers day.

I had a good day and nope, no presents, no fancy dinners, no flowers stolen from someone else's yard.
I just had a day.
I had 2 sons who woke up and told me they loved me and that was enough.

May 09, 2004

Happy mothers day to my mom and all moms everywhere.

I wish I could tell you, Mom
how much you mean to me....
But there are no words to say
how much I admire you...
how much I appreciate you...
how much I thank you
for everything you've done.

April 11, 2004

Nothing says happy holiday like a good argument.

No, no arguing with family today which is what people do on holidays right?
I should just stay away from certain websites.
Here's where my horriblescope from the other day comes into play.
People are wound up tighter than drums today.
All over the fucking net.

Simple comments, simple human stories, simply talking with my fellow human beings, meant with no malice or harm are being construed as mean and spiteful and things are being said without knowing or even thinking that someone may genuinely care for you and wish you nothing but the best.

I have experienced both the best ( strangers helping me and my family and thinking of me ) and the worst ( calling people cowards and feeling so much hate for some stranger somewhere in the world who believe it or not, holds his convictions as strongly as you do ) of people today.

We all have to live on this planet.
We all share in it's beauty, it's destruction, it's problems, it's wars.
We are all just people doing the best we can.

April 11, 2004

Happy Easter.

April 01, 2004

Here's your fair warning.

I don't do April Fools jokes, tricks, pranks.
I don't like April Fools jokes, tricks or pranks.
Why?
Because everyone expects you to do something today.
The best time to get someone is when they least expect it like tomorrow. Or next week or whenever the mood strikes.

March 24, 2004

Dear Mom,

My 68 year old mailman thanks you for packing a box lightly. :)
Just kidding, but we both damn near fell over trying to get the boxes in the house.

She sent a note;
Kathy, I could not fit anymore stuff into these two boxes. ( I would hope not, my mailman is going to need a chiropractor ) Wish it could be a lot more. ( Our teeth would rot if you sent more. Oh, wait, that's what the toothbrushes are for.)
The cabury eggs, hair clips and laser pointer are for you. ( Oh, I see who's more important here. The kids get all the rest of this stuff?)
Hope Mark and Sebastian like their photo albums. ( They love goofy pictures of themselves as babies) We are doing ok. Hope things go better for you soon. ( Me too mom) Give our love to the boys. Love to you as well,
Enjoy,
Mom and dad.