May 6, 2008
60 more days.
The whole hearing only lasted 14 minutes, ex wasn't even on the line, he was on stand-by.
Um, it's a court hearing, how does he get to not be there, but only be on stand by if the judge wants to speak to him?!
Whatever.
His lawyer has not even sent the DA the asset disclosure documents, that was a requirement for todays hearing, and as usual, the law is like oh, no big deal, just get the papers to each party as soon as you can, and we'll schedule another hearing for 60 days from now.
His attorney is just now requesting for me to disclose my assets.
Um, how long have we been doing this, and he just now wants to see my assets?
It's been months and months, the hearing had been scheduled since February, and he just now wants my assets?
Nothing like delay tactics eh?
Well here's my assets, I don't own anything.
No vehicles, no homes, no nothing of any substantial value.
Sure I make some money, but I'm on a limited income set, not allowed to earn more than $xxx dollars per month, and even if I try to go over that, it doesn't happen.
Heck, I don't even come close to earning the limit.
So anyway, I asked his attorney to send me the asset disclosure papers immediately, I want this done, and he said; "OK, I'll try to get those out to you in the next day or two."
Don't try, do.
The judge wants to see if we can come to an agreement on the amount of child support ourselves within the next 60 days, if not, the new scheduled hearing will take place.
I doubt we'll settle, he wants to pay less than the current court ordered amount of $21 per week, and I'm not settling for any less than his other kids currently get, which is $80 per week.
After 14 years of $21 per week, and a 5 year period where he paid none at all, does he and his attorney actually think I'll be ok with less?
They're both out of their minds if they do.
So send the papers, send your requests for agreement, let's get this ball rolling once and for all.
I've been playing this game for 14 years, it's time to finish this.
There are 2 teens with birthdays happening this summer, the party invitations lists are being made, they are both growing up so fast and they deserve better, they deserve to be able to take their child support money and buy themselves new shoes that aren't $15 cheapies from a discount store.
Right now, the child support barely covers a single pair of shoes for 1 kid at a cheap store.
School may be getting out at the end of this month, but they start right back up again in August, and more school supplies are going to be needed.
Sebastian needs braces too.
That's an expense I simply can't cover, and $21 a week isn't an acceptable payment plan.
May 6, 2008
5 more grey hairs popped up over night.
I'm starting to age rapidly now, *stress*, I'm definitely going to need the very top wrinkle cream on the market the way I'm going.
Lack of sleep, stress, not eating right, too many things are making me go arggggh!
Let's see, Sebastian is home sick today, I found the papers I needed to be paying attention to, those need to be done to-day!
Oh, Sebastian is fine really, he has a wicked headache, his joints hurt again.
He's growing so he gets massive growing pains to the point he can hardly walk sometimes.
He's shot up like another 3 inches, now able to look completely over the top of my head.
Then, this afternoon I have the child support hearing by phone, and I'm antsy about it.
I can't really talk about it all right now, I will when it's over.
But I know fraud is being committed, lies have been told, and if need be, I'll ask for a certain someone to have to have to come forward and explain why things are their name.
I mean, just how many "gifts" can a guy get?
Anyway, I need to get busy doing all kinds of stuff to prep for it.
I have all my things ready to go, but I need to get busy on those other papers so my brain isn't distracted while I'm on the phone.
Later days!
March 26, 2008
Postponed.
I got a call about an hour ago from the Maine AG.
The hearing is postponed, date unknown right now.
Not surprised.
His attorney asked for a new date.
She asked me for my 2007 taxes and some other stuff, so I got her email address and sent her everything she asked for, and probably a few things she didn't know about.
We talked about my income, I told her, adjusted gross on my taxes is especially pathetic, so she'll be able to see that when she opens the email.
It is what it is, can't really do much about it.
And that really bums me out.
I miss being able to work.
I miss it like you wouldn't believe.
If I was still able to work like I was before they told me to stop before I injured myself beyond medical repair, I wouldn't give two shits about the child support.
I lived and survived without it for many years because I could work.
I worked 12-16 hour days, I had money, I made good money, and then my back up and quit on me for good.
There are times, like now, when I get really depressed about it.
I'm not like crying all day and night depressed, but yeah, I am bummed out that I cannot support me and my kids the same way I used to.
It's not right, it's not fair, it fucking sucks, but there isn't anything I can do about it, and that makes it even worse.
It is completely out of my control.
100% complete disability, unable to perform gainful employment.
Those words that I fought for 5 years to hear, sting like molten steel sometimes.
I didn't want this, I just wanted my back to get fixed so I could keep working, but they kept saying no to the surgery, no to the surgeon who could do it.
It took fighting and phone calls, and attorneys, and letters, to get medical help, and then it was too late.
The damage was done, 100% complete disability, unable to perform gainful employment.
I busted my ass for years supporting my family on my own, busting my back to a state of disability, and for him to ask after all these years, to lower the child support, well, no, fuck you.
I don't care how many kids there are, that's not my problem.
My problem is the two I have here, the two I have taken care of day in and day out for the last 14 years on my own.
I'm tired of the excuses that there was no job, and all the other bullshit that has prevented my sons from getting a fair and decent amount of child support, I'm fucking over it.
I don't care that the business just started, needs time to grow, not my fucking problem.
I'm over the piddly amount that was court ordered 14 years ago. No one should have to deal with that amount all these years, and no, it's not me who ruined his relationship with his sons, it was him.
A slap to Sebastian's 2 year old face that left a bruise in the shape of a hand, and the very painful words said to a 9 year old Mark, "My band is more important than being a father right now".
You think those words and slap are forgotten?!
They aren't.
I fight for them.
I fight for them to have what they need and some of what they want.
I do everything in what little power I have left, to get for them.
To even ask to have to send less money to them, is just another slap in the face, it's just another string of painful words.
Keep postponing it, it doesn't matter.
Whenever it gets scheduled, I'll be available, and I'll keep fighting for them just like I have done for the last 14 years.
I may not be able to hold a job outside the home anymore, and the work I do now doesn't bring me much income, but I will keep doing everything I can so that they can have everything they need, so that they are happy, healthy, and grow up to know values, and morals, and ethics, and to keep fighting for what they want and what is right, and what they deserve.
I'll keep doing what I have to, even if more and more excuses get made and thrown.
They deserve better than that.
They deserve better than him.
March 13, 2008
Call me on the telephone, I'll be there.
I wanted to give you all an update on the child support hearing and stuff.
It looks like I won't be needed to fly back.
The attorney general made arrangements for me to appear by telephone on April 8th, at 8:30am.
*phew*
But it would have been ok with me to have to go. Yes I would have had to come up with the airplane ticket price, but I would have enjoyed being there in person with all my documentation tucked away in my Johnston and Murphy like briefcase, and present my evidence of his business ownership, and request that the support be modified above an imputed minimum wage.
So April 8th people, that will be the day we get to find out whether or not he's got the business in someone else name, has been avoiding paying taxes, both personal and business, and oh please oh please oh please, let the judge who divorced us, still be alive and sitting at the bench.
He was an ornery man, and didn't want to hear no bull, no excuses, and bam! Custody of the minor children to the mother.
I never made it to do all my errands today, I'm lucky I got to go to the grocery store.
The kids were supposed to be let out of school and early, and that didn't happen, so all my errand running got pushed back by several hours.
I'll attempt the rest of them again tomorrow.
And man, I don't know what happened, but I was sitting here about an hour ago, and all of a sudden, I had the biggest migraine attack out of nowhere.
It just hit and nearly knocked me out of my chair.
The light hurt, the noises hurt, I had to wobble to my bedroom and lay down in the dark after taking one of my migraine meds.
I just laid there curled in a ball, petting the kitties until it went away.
It's mostly gone now, just a dull ache is left, but so glad the meanest part is over.
I have so many emails and stuff to catch up on, but LOST is coming on. gah!
I will try to answer emails during commercials ok?
Cool.
Later days.
March 1, 2008
It was a very nice dinner out.
I got back a little while ago, from dinner out at the Oriental Buffet, with my sister, my boys, and my nieces.
I love that place.
I could survive on eating nothing but Chinese food for the rest of my life.
Ribs, General Tso, those fried buttered green beans, and their little Tiramisu squares.
So yummy!
Here's the girls posing in front of the antique bird cage at the restaurant.
Susan is on the left, Skye is on the right.
Susan who is 4, wished me a happy 8th birthday.
I said 8?!
She said "Yes aunty Kat, happy 8th birthday!"
Hey, I'll gladly knock off 30 years. ha ha
Man, wouldn't it be fun to be a kid again?
They gave me a big balloon, a really pretty card, and a Penelope Pussycat, t-shirt.
I absolutely loved the Pepe Le Pew cartoons, and how love struck he was for her until she would return his affections.
Then he would freak out and attempt to run away from her, and just when he thought he was safely hidden, she would pop up and say "mew".
Penelope Pussycat is Pepe Le Pew's object of affection, and also caused him to show his true fear of commitment.
She didn't have a name for many of the episodes she was in, until 1954 when her master called her Penelope. She was mis-named as both Fifi and Fabrette, but her mother's name was Fifi.
It wasn't until the 1995 "Carrotblanca", where advertisements for the short credited her as "starring Penelope Pussycat in her first speaking role".
And now I'm home alone, with my sister taking the teens to her house for the night.
The house will be quiet, no beeping video games, no bickering over whose turn it is, and just time alone to actually watch a movie all the way through with no interruptions, and sit around in my undies if I want to.
I am going to watch The Lookout
Synopsis:
Chris "Slapshot" Pratt (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), whose once bright future has been dimmed by a severe head injury, is a night janitor at a bank. Lonely and frustrated, Chris falls prey to a con man's seductive promise of romance and a better life, and agrees to help rob the bank where he works.
I'm going to answer some more of the emails that have piled up, I do want to respond to everyone who has sent me supportive comments and emails over the last few days.
I really appreciate everyone who has offered to help out should I need to fly back for the child support hearing.
I don't think it will come to that, I hope not, but if it does, it means so much to me that so many people would help me get there, and fight for the fair amount of child support that is long over due.
I thought about taking that entry and placing it in draft mode so that if he or his friends, or his latest bimbo girlfriend of the month, Googled across it, they wouldn't know what's going on, but then I said no.
The motion to modify has been filed, he has already been served, he knows that a hearing is inevitable, he just doesn't know that they know he lied.
But he shouldn't have lied in the first place, and I have done nothing wrong, I have no reason to hide what's going on.
It's not me who would be prosecuting him for failure to pay his taxes for a few years, it would be the state of Maine Attorney General, and possibly the IRS.
I simply wanted a fair and reasonable amount of child support, based on the actual wages of a business owner, not imputed minimum wage, because he doesn't make minimum wage.
And that's all I have to say about that for now, because today has been a good day, and I don't wanna spoil it with any of that headache.
I'll let you know how the movie is.
Hopefully.
I am so bad about writing movie reviews.
I watch so many, and I really do plan to review them all, and then I get caught up in other stuff and forget.
If I don't get a review of this one up by tomorrow afternoon Kim, send me an email and tell me to get my ass in gear.
Later days.
February 28, 2008
Impute minimum wage? I don't think so.
I need a Valium or a really stiff drink.
Or several.
14 years ago on February 4th 1994, we were divorced, custody of the minor children awarded to me, as well as the pitiful child support sum of $21 per week.
Over the last 14 years, he barely paid that amount.
There was a period of 5 years straight, where he paid absolutely nothing at all.
His back due support is in the hundred thousand dollar range.
I tried for years to get the support order modified, but they always said he was unemployed, not paying any taxes, collecting welfare off and on, and had fathered 3 more children.
Then of course we learned about Cameron, who is a year older than my oldest son, Mark, for a total offspring count of 6 children.
Six children he wasn't paying any support for because he was "unemployed".
The state of Maine never looked into his band gigs as income, or the fact that he worked as a tattoo artist for other shops.
Fast forward, he is now the owner of his own tattoo and piercing studio.
This is my ex-husbands business, Coopa Creations.
That is his name on the sign, that is his picture at the top, he is Coopa.
See how it says under his picture, owner and artist?
He owns that shop.
So I filed for modification again.
They served him the legal modification papers at his shop.
On February 16th, I told you that they modified the child support to $67 per week.
Today I received another packet of papers from the state of Maine attorney general's office.
The support has not been modified legally yet, there is going to be a hearing.
He (ex-husband) has until March 7th, 2008, to file a motion against the modification.
I read through the papers, and I wasn't clear on whether or not I would be needed to appear at the hearing in person or by phone.
So I called the AG's office.
I spoke to the AG in charge of my case, she said they had just been discussing this case this morning, and she would be happy to answer any questions I had as best she could.
I asked about whether or not I'd be needed to appear in a Maine courtroom, and if so, I needed plenty of notice to attend because I live here in Florida, I would need to come up with the funds for a plane ticket etc, or if I would be needed to "appear" by phone.
She said she didn't know yet because he has until March 7th to file a counter claim against the modification.
Then I asked why the modified support was so low, $67.
She said it was based on imputed minimum wage.
I said excuse me? Minimum wage? He's a business owner, he is making far more than minimum wage.
She asked me what I was talking about.
I said, the address he was served at, the 114 Main street address, is his business.
Coopa Creations is his business.
He owns that tattoo shop.
He cannot possibly be making minimum wage.
She then said, well he hasn't filed any taxes for several years, was I sure he was the business owner.
I said yes! He's the owner! It's called Coopa Creations, he calls himself Coopa, the myspace page lists him as the owner, he was served at his own business!
She said nothing for a few seconds, then said if this information is true, that he owns that shop, then that changes everything.
It means he falsified his child support affidavit where he claims he only earns $11,000 per year.
He lied on official court documents.
I knew he lied on those papers when I read them.
He claims his present employer is Coopa Creations, yet he's the owner, not an employee, and he failed to fill out the rest of the paper work where he was supposed to list any and all assets, vehicles he owns, (he does own a nice car, his sister loaned lost him the money to buy it. he has never paid her back) supposed to list all the minor children he pays child support for, child care costs, medical expenses, bank accounts etc.
As a business owner with employees, he has to have at least one bank account for the business, to pay business related costs, and to pay his employees from.
She then asked me if I could prove he's the owner.
I said yes, he has a website where it lists him as owner, his own sister says he owns it, my friends have taken pictures of the store front where his name is listed as owner painted on the freaking glass.
She then said, "This changes everything. Thank you for this information, we will have to get a subpoena for financial records, but if he really is the owner, hasn't filed taxes for himself personally or the business, this case is now bigger than just modifying the child support."
I said well yeah, go after him all you want, but to raise my child support from $21 to $67 after 14 years, is a total slap in the face, and sorry, but his sons deserve more than that.
As a business owner, he can definitely afford to pay more than $67 per week, and I don't really give a crap about the other 4 kids. The two sons I had with him through marriage, have never received the full amount of support ordered in the last 14 years, and have only gotten birthday cards twice in all these years. He can pay up, it's long past due.
She said not to worry, they will definitely be looking into this new information, and she will be in touch with me about the hearing and any other information they need from me, or need to give me.
We ended the call, and I almost blew a gasket.
I cannot believe they didn't put 2 and 2 together, Cooper, Coopa Creations, they freaking served him at his business, and didn't realize he was the owner.
This whole thing is just so infuriating.
All these years of not getting the court ordered pitiful $21, and he was trying to pull a fast one again and claim he was just an employee making minimum wage.
Arggghhh!
But now they know, and hopefully they will fix this correctly.
$67 is not acceptable, imputing minimum wage on a business owner is not acceptable.
If I have to fly up there for the hearing, I'll sell everything that isn't nailed down to get there and face him in that courtroom.
February 16, 2008
It's beyond ridiculous.
So yeah, back in April 2007, I put in for a modification of my child support.
He had been ordered to pay a whole whopping $21 per week for the last 14 years.
He could barely do that, but he's a business owner now, so I figured hey, he's finally making something of his life, he can afford to start paying for more of the teens care.
In today's mail, I got a packet of papers detailing the new modified support.
Are you ready for this?
Hang on to your panties kids, this is gonna blow your minds.
The new modified support is $67 per week, supposed to be deducted from his paycheck automatically, but uh, he's the boss, he writes the paychecks.
I won't ever see that $67 per week.
At the bottom of the court papers he signed, he claimed hardship.
Said he already pays $400 per month in child support.
Hey pal, not my problem that you fathered six children, maybe if he kept his dick in his pants, he wouldn't have to pay so much for all these kids huh?
For the last 14 years, he's been court ordered to pay $21 per week, per kid. I've never seen that amount on a regular basis. For years, he didn't pay anything at all.
Heck, this Friday he paid in, $20.20.
Amazing huh?!
I seriously can't believe that the courts felt that $67 a week is substantial for the care of his two sons who have gone years and years without any child support, only got it when he felt like being honest and paying it.
Sure it will be $268 a month, but he's never ever been able to pay the $21 per week, he won't be able to do this.
To say I'm disappointed in the state of Maine court system once again, is an understatement.
He's claiming hardship and they fell for it.
He owns his own business, he can cook his books, write his own paychecks, and no one will be the wiser.
Gah.
January 25, 2008
Wow, 23 bucks. Thanks.
I just got a child support payment for $23. It's the first one I've gotten since the end of November.
I don't understand this. He owns his own business, why did a whole month and a half go by with no child support if he owns his own business.
I know he has 6 kids, but if he's that broke, he needs to go take out a cash advance or something and keep up with his child support payments to all of his kids.
I'm so tired of this game with him. The boys are getting older and when they turn 18, they can sue him for all that back support. I wonder if he even knows how bad it will be for him if they decide to do that.
He can basically kiss his business good-bye then.
They'll own it.
I'm still waiting on news of the modification hearing, they said I would get that months ago and I still don't have a date for that.
I did get a letter that said they will be garnishing his taxes. That is, if he even files taxes.
I don't believe he will. I think he'll avoid having to pay any of his kids anything at any cost.
September 27, 2007
Still no CS hearing date scheduled.
Months ago, I filed for a child support modification hearing, in April to be exact.
I haven't heard squat from CS about the hearing, but at least I'm getting an increase in payments, and approximately every two weeks now, which is a major improvement over the $22.10 he was sending whenever he felt like sending it.
So over the last 10 weeks, I've gotten $202.70 in CS payments.
The first amount, the $55.99, is what I'm getting tomorrow. It was applied today, so it will be direct deposited tomorrow afternoon by 4pm.
It's just so frustrating.
I filed for a hearing to get this modified, they sent me a letter saying I would either have to appear before a judge in Maine, or do closed circuit from a courtroom here in Sarasota, and I would be receiving a letter in the mail with that information, and the date of the hearing within a few weeks.
I never got the letter.
I called CS, and they said the hearing had not been scheduled yet, that was in June when I called.
I called again at the beginning of August, same answer, it hasn't been scheduled yet.
Why did they tell me a few weeks, if it was really going to be months?
This system moves so damn slow, but at least the payments are getting better and more frequent.
September 3, 2007
Don't rub your eyes, it causes wrinkles.
So I'm sitting here at this late hour, wide awake, surfing, looking at things, snooping around bloggers archives.
I came across a really well written blog, Serving the Queens, and snooped around Jenn's archives for awhile.
It has a very nice design, pretty pictures, but it's the writing in those archived pages that I love the most.
She's so very different than me, but kinda like me too.
Her archives spoke to me.
There was some pain in those pages that reached out to me, and let me let go of some of mine.
The absent father, the people who stand in for him, the questions that will someday be asked by her smallest child.
I know all of those thoughts, I've dealt with them all.
I still deal with them.
And I cried.
For the first time in a long time, I cried over the teens not having a father in their lives.
I read through her pages, her stories about big blue eyes he'll never know, and I cried for all the same things.
All the things the teens father missed out on, all the things he will miss out on.
All the questions I've been left to answer, all the answers I just don't have.
And it's ok.
I've done the very best that I could do, I work hard at this every single day.
I am mother and father, I am friend and confidant.
I am doctor and teacher, and care giver and the one person who loves them most in this entire world.
I know that just as I have survived through all of this, I have a feeling she will.
She writes so beautifully and full of honesty, that I just know she'll get through it all too.
June 27, 2007
I'm sticky hot.
Really, I'm sitting here sweating my ass off and I shouldn't be.
The ac is on 60.
60.
I should not be hot.
It's truly one of the side effects of all the different meds, my body temp goes up and nothing can cool me down.
I take shower after shower, running out and standing in front of the ac and several fans, only to be sweaty icky hot again within 20 minutes.
It blows.
But I am pleased about something else.
My child support seems to be going up and I haven't even gone to court for it yet.
2 weeks ago, $44.22. Tomorrow, I'll get $70.11.
Hey, he's improving.
He should be, he owns a frigging business now, he can afford better payments.
And it comes at a good time too, I have a bill to pay tomorrow, 2 scripts to pick up, and some fishy stuff to buy.
I lost 3 fish in the last week. *sad*
The tank is in serious need of cleaning, and I simply can't do it right now.
It involves using the suction cleaner on it, which sucks all the dirty icky water and gunk out, into a large 20 gallon container which then has to be carried and dumped out.
I just can't do it by myself.
I also need some water conditioner for the new water before I put it in.
So the money will come in handy and right in time.
April 26, 2007
It's a good day in the neighborhood, a wonderful day in the neighborhood.
I went and got my mail from my ghetto-fied mail box, and low and behold, a child support check for $44.
It's been a whole month since the last whopping check of $22.10.
He's trying sooo hard to pay for all 6 of his kids. I gotta give him a little credit.
I mean, he's going balls to the wall these days to support himself and all 6 of his kids. Have I told you all how hard he's working?
I didn't?
Shame on me!
He's opened his own business! Isn't that just awesome?!
Check this out.
Click it for bigger.
I think I'm gonna make it my wallpaper.
That's his very own tattoo shop!
Incredible!
He's a business owner finally!
He's been working there for years now, it was only a matter of time before he bought the joint.
This means he's gonna be able to finally start paying more than $22.10 whenever he feels like it right?
I mean, it's his own business, he somehow managed to get a business loan with his bad credit, debt and arrears for child support for 6 kids, and he got a loan? And what about all the licenses and health requirements and all that jazz, to actually run a tat shop. He must be doing supertastic financially right?!
OMGDZ! This is just super exciting!
As soon as I heard the news, I put in a call to child support, to get our amount of cs modified.
He's a business owner now. He can finally afford to make proper payments to all 6 of his kids and pay off the arrears to Mark and Sebastian.
This is awesome, it's like Christmas!
Continue Reading �
March 21, 2007
Looky what I have, and you ain't got none
cuz your momma can't make them, my momma is bet-ter...LOL
Those are my moms peanut butter eggs. The mail lady just brought me a box full of easter goodies and my CS check for this week that was supposed to come.
See? I knew last weeks got swiped or mis-delivered, because telling her to watch for it, made her watch for it and bring it to my door.
I'm heading out soon, so I will answer emails when I get back. Mindy, yours first, sounds like fun. :)
January 26, 2007
I'm starting to get stressed.
I could have filed this under ex-bastard, but I decided to just make it general because I have so much to say, so many thoughts going through my head.
I asked my family and a few others who know I'm coming back this coming Monday for 1 week, to not say anything to the boys father.
They have no desire to see him.
They haven't received so much as an e-card wishing them a happy birthday in about 5 years.
They get no contact with him even if they initiate it. When he does respond, it's full of hate towards me and him saying in those emails that he doesn't believe it's one of them emailing him, he thinks it's me every single time.
The boys give up for awhile and then try again.
Mark has been sending him messages on myspace for awhile now, just general hi, how are you stuff, talking about how he's doing in school etc.
If he gets a reply back, it's nasty and the stuff I wrote above.
This morning Shell sent me an email asking if the boys even wanted to see him. I said no, they haven't even mentioned him other than to say if he shows up at great grams, they may punch him.
In her email was a link to his myspace which I have had for quite some time.
I look at it every now and then, he has pictures of all the boys half siblings on it. Ethan, Austin, Six, and Cameron.
For the longest time, there have been no pictures of Mark and Sebastian on it.
As of 3 weeks ago, there were none.
This morning there are 2 pictures. 1 of Mark from Georges' wedding almost 2 years ago, and 1 of Sebastian from about 3 years ago.
He got those pictures off of my photoblog which I haven't updated in forever.
The captions under Mark's pic says; "My son Mark Jr. I hope to see you again, I miss you!" and under Sebastian's; "My boy Sebastian, I hope you are well. I miss you!"
This bothers me more than I even know how to put into words.
For years, they have gotten nothing from him, no recognition, no calls, cards, presents, just nasty emails when they contact him.
Suddenly, he's decided he loves them?
Suddenly, he's decided to include them in his life?
These pictures just went up sometime within the last 3 weeks.
I'm starting to worry that someone told him we are coming back home and he's decided to play daddy of the decade and show up at Gram's house to pretend he loves them.
His last encounter with the boys was about 6 years ago, Mark was 8, and his words from his father cut him like a knife and still do to this day.
"I'm sorry I'm such a shitty father, my band is more important."
Part of me wants to protect them from any more harm he may do, I don't believe he's changed. I don't believe that he suddenly cares for them, or claims he's loved them all these years. If he had loved them, his words to them in emails should have reflected that don't you think?
Maybe those words instead of being all hateful and calling their mother (me) a bitch, should have been 'I'm proud of you son for doing so well in school, thanks for letting me know, thanks for letting me be part of your life. I love you'.
It's always hate filled emails or myspace messages. It's never, ever been love.
The other part of me wants him to show up so that his sons who are the same height as me, and built like football players, can stand face to face with the man who said those things to them so they can tell him exactly what they think of his new found love for them.
Part of me wants Sebastian to walk up to him and slap him across the face as hard as he did when Sebastian was 2, causing our entire family to be investigated by CPS, including his own sister and the boys aunt, Heather. He blamed it on his girlfriend at the time, then when they didn't believe that, he blamed his sister, then he blamed me.
He convinced little Mark to tell CPS Freddy Krueger did that.
Our lives were in CPS hell for weeks and to this day, he has never admitted it was him, just constantly shifting blame from one person to the next.
But I'm their mother, the one who has raised them, cared for them taught them, truly loved them, protected them. I want to protect them from any more hurt he could do.
If he shows up, I honestly don't know what I will do or say, but I know he angers me so much for hurting his children the way he has all these years, and I may yell and scream, and even throw in a punch myself.
I know, people can change, but he hasn't. I stay in contact with his sister, I know what he still does. I know he still uses people for money and places to live. He controls people still, throws tantrums when things don't go his way.
He's still a liar.
Just looking at his myspace page lets you know nothing has changed with him.
He was born on September 1st, 1971. That makes him 35. His page says he's 30.
Lies.
I fear that if he sees them, he will lie to them and tell them all the things any kid wants to hear, that they are loved, have always been loved, try to pull the wool over their eyes.
But they know the truth. They have his myspace saved to favorites on their computer. They read it, they know there has never been pictures of them on it, or mention of them on it, they know he lies about his age, they see the band is still #1 to him.
Sebastian doesn't ever even mention him, doesn't care about his father one way or the other. He's blank when it comes to "dad".
But Mark, Mark is angry, and filled with rage over his father.
He hates him.
I don't think any amount of ass kissing will fix the damage "daddy" has done to him.
To be ignored by him all of these years, is painful and biting. When I told Mark that if he wanted, we could contact dad while there, his reply was no.
He said if he sees him, he will hit him.
Anger and rage fills him up inside and I can't fix it.
I let him know that their pictures on now on his fathers page, and he laughed. Said; "Gee, how nice. I love you too dad", in a totally sarcastic way. He rolled his eyes and walked away.
If while at grams, he shows up, the boys have said they want to leave. They want me to get Heather to drive us back to Ninny and Pop Pops house. If she won't, to call Shell. They are home today so we can get the house ready, make sure all the pets have what they need, pack etc. We leave Sunday.
They have no desire to be anywhere near him and that is his fault.
I can't make them love him. I can't make them be polite to him. He has hurt them so badly, they don't want to know him regardless of him posting pics with text saying he loves and misses them.
It's way too little, way too late.
I did send him a polite message saying if he wanted more recent pics, to contact me. Those ones are so old. I doubt that he will and if he does, I am prepared for the same old lines, 'you fucking cunt, I hate you blah blah blah.'
I want this to be a happy trip for the boys, not one that makes them get angry like the last time we were home.
People always complain we don't come home enough. This is why. This is one of many reasons. Money and cold weather are the others.
I am their mother and it's my job to protect them from harm. If he sees them, I am afraid for them. I don't bring them back because of him. The last time, it took me 2 years to get Mark back to being a normal happy kid. He was so angry for all that time because he was hurting.
I can't let him be hurt again. He doesn't deserve it.
August 4, 2006
Slap my ass and call me Mary!
The sperm donor must have a new job. I actually got a child support check for $69.87.
Wow. Just think of all the things I can buy with that for the kids for school.
Good thing I wasn't counting on that to buy everything they needed.
April 13, 2004
So sue me.
The ex now wants to sue me for slander and libel
He would need to prove that my personal opinions were made with malice in an attempt to harm or defame him.
The 3 posts, (well now 4) that I have written about him, are my personal opinions of my ex husband.
They were never intended to harm or defame him.
This is my personal webspace where I write about my life.
Post #1, I was talking about a letter I received from the state of Maine in regards to him losing his drivers license for failure to pay child support.
This is not slander or libel because it is fact that he does not pay his child support as the letter clearly states.
Post #2 is where I stated an opinion on the recent robbery/theft of something in his band. I stated that it was my gut instinct that it was him. This does not say it was him but says that I think it is him based on information given to me by third parties and my own personal experience of personally knowing him as my ex-spouse and his behaviors as witnessed by me.
And post #3, written last night after receiving falsely spoofed emails from his now current girlfriend, explains to her, in some detail, the facts of my marriage and divorce from him as only I would know them.
He says that his lawyer read my site this morning and that I am indeed breaking the law. He says he wants to sue me.
My response?
Let's roll.
I will be happy to face him in court on this issue and the lack of child support as court ordered in February 1994.
April 12, 2004
Here they come, walking down the street.
Ok ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your hats!
The friends of the ex-bastard have finally found me and have decided to leave anonymous comments in an attempt to tear me down or make me feel bad for posting about him.
Guess what?
I don't fucking care.
Continue Reading �
April 10, 2004
My ex hubby once supposedly, stole money from his old band.
And they all quit and went their separate ways.
Just a few days ago, someone stole something from the band (new band) again.
I ain't saying nothing because I don't know who did it but I have a gut instinct that it was him.
I mean, the wording in the goodbye message, was just too "smart" for him.
Caution, this pic opens to 1024x768.
In a way, I wanted him to do good so he could pay all his child support but knowing he isn't going to make it famous yet again, is kind of nice too.
March 8, 2004
How many years has it been?
It has been 10 years since my divorce from the boys father.
10 years folks.
10 years of fighting to get child support.
10 years of trying to get them to take action on his case.
Well, after 10 years of trying to force him to pay, they took away his drivers license.
Aren't you thrilled?
I know I am.
I mean, what the fucking hell took so long?
10 fucking years State of Maine!
What is your deal?
In the 10 years that they have been piddling around trying to get him to pay and trying to figure out ways to make him pay, this option, of license revocation has always been there. Gov. Angus King put it into play 9 years ago.
How do I know?
Because I was one of 5 moms selected to go to meet him and talk to him about child support enforcement laws.
This was an idea he and I talked about. Taking away licenses for driving, fishing, hunting etc.
They just took it away on March 4, 2004.
The divorce went final on February 2, 1994.
That is 10 years of waiting for them to go after him and make him pay.
10 years of waiting for them to do something.
Do I think this will have an impact on him?
Do I think loss of driving will somehow wake him up and make him pay his child support?
No.
No I don't.
This action, along with any other actions, should have been done years ago.
You can't just let guys like my ex get off scott free for 10 fucking years and suddenly expect them to start paying cuz you took away their license.
No, they will drive anyway or get other people to drive. They have ways around paying in case you didn't notice.
Filed under ex-bastard.
child support
easter