July 3, 2008
Notice anything missing?
That is the titanium bar tongue ring I wear.
It's missing the other ball at the end.
Guess where it is?
See, I had to have that MRI today, and they make you take off all of your jewelry, so it requires me taking out all my piercings as well.
When I got home I put them all back in, and I must not have tightened it enough, and during dinner, it must have come even looser.
I decided to have a little snack a few minutes ago, and I took the first bite and felt this scraping feeling against the roof of my mouth.
I immediately panicked and thought I chipped a tooth and it had scraped the roof of my mouth, so I ran to the bathroom to take a look.
No chipped teeth, so I stuck out my tongue and that's when I saw it.
My tongue piercing was missing the top ball.
Now, it didn't fall out on the floor or into what I was eating, I definitely would have noticed it falling out of my mouth, so the only obvious place that tiny titanium ball went is down the old pipes.
Yup, I swallowed it.
I came out of the bathroom and told the teens, and they both got this look of horror on their faces.
Ha!
I've had this tongue ring since 1999, so 9 years, and in these past 9 years, I have never had an issue with it.
I've never accidentally bitten on it while eating, and I certainly have never swallowed one of the balls.
There's a first time for everything they say!
I do have others so I just replaced it, not really a big deal, but I thought it was quite funny.
June 6, 2008
What the heck are you looking for?!
Every now and then I like to go through my stats and see all the various search terms that bring people to my blog.
Here's some of the unusual and funny search terms.
original little mermaid cover (people like the phallic cover)
bbbbbbbbb (um, yeah)
sims having sex (they can and they do)
Las Vegas travel I was going to go to Blogasm '08, but my plans fell through.
mumenshantz. I still have the piece of art Mark made.
check n go florida settlement. This still hasn't been settled yet.
dry nail strip. These really do rock.
the walrus and the carpenter were able to get the oysters to trust them based on promises they made to the oysters then in the end they ate them. like politicians. (Dogma)
ex girlfriend child support maine 2008 may maine may (No, I'm the ex-wife, and the hearing is now July 16th, but thanks for checking on me current girlfriend. That's so sweet of you!)
i believe license plate. Shot down by the senate! W00t!
infant swimming resources. Every parent with a pool should teach their kids to swim.
And curiously, the most searched for keyword coming in at over 100 searches;
stick figures. I have no idea why people search for that so much.
May 12, 2008
Hoppy birfday to woo.
Christine made a post about kid friendly restaurants and birthday parties for kids, and entitlement jerks.
Basically the dad was mad because the restaurant didn't offer his 3 year old son no free gift or cake at his birthday when they dined out.
I worked in many different restaurants when I was working outside the home, and I can tell you that not a single one ever gave anyone, kid or otherwise, a free gift or free cake, on their birthdays.
The cake was added to the bill, and it was usually just a slice of cake from our dessert menu unless someone called in advance to arrange for a whole cake for the entire group to have.
We would sing if asked, but most people didn't because it is publicly humiliating for both the birthday person and the restaurant staff who are forced to sing it.
That dad is a butthead.
He complained about the crappy meal, the bad drinks, the bad service, and yet he expected the restaurant to shower his 3 year old with a gift and free cake, as well as sing the damn happy song.
______________
But we did do this once, to Sebastian on his birthday, at our fave Chinese buffet here in town.
He was about 10 or 11, and my sis and I felt like embarrassing him.
We pre-arranged with the manager to bring a cake over at the end of our meal, a small Pepperidge Farm one we brought ourselves, and also to sing to him.
The entire staff who work there are Chinese with very heavy accents.
We finished our meal and Sebastian thinks that's it, when the whole wait staff comes over with his cake and like 100 candles on it.
It was like on fire, I thought for sure the smoke alarms in the place were going to go off.
We never asked for the candles, the staff did that on their own, but it made it even more funny to sis and I.
They get to the table, Sebastian is already mortified because of the flaming cake o' death, and they start singing.
"Hoppy birfday to woo, hoppy birfday to woo", all really thick Chinese accents, so thick you could barely understand any of the words to the classic birthday song.
Every patron of the restaurant is staring at our table, people are standing up to see, and how could you not see?
There were 20 wait staff all dressed in matching black pants and white shirts, singing very loudly, and a tiny cake with flames shooting off the candles.
People were laughing, some were singing along, and Mark is nearly pissing himself with laughter.
My sister and I have tears rolling down our cheeks because all we wanted was the cake brought over, and maybe like 2 waiters to sing, NOT the entire staff, and it was just so loud and so bright, we were losing it with laughter.
Sebastian's face was bright red, he was so embarrassed, but it was just awesomely funny.
We've never done that again, but we threaten it every time one of the teens have a birthday.
We always take them out on their day to where ever they want to go, and when we get there, we joke about how we tipped the waitress etc to bring a cake and sing.
Both teens usually get immediately red in the face, and ask like 100 times through the meal if we're kidding or not.
We usually hold out on the joke till the very end, when we finally tell them we were kidding, but watching them get nervous every time a waiter passes by our table is priceless.
April 26, 2008
Xbox Live orientation
X-Play created an Xbox Live orientation video for all you live player n00bs out there.
Not knowing how things work on Xbox Live can be a bit scary at first, but thanks to this most awesome video explaining things, you'll be playing live and fitting right in!
Click continue reading to see the NSFW but hysterically funny video.
Continue Reading �
April 11, 2008
Oh the messes children can make.
Rachel from the BakedBlog, left me a comment, and seeing as how she's a new reader and commenter, I decided to go check out her blog.
I've now added it to my feed because she's funny, she cooks yummy looking foods, and she's got kids who do things when she turns her back for a second.
Don't all kids manage to make the biggest messes ever when your back is turned for just a second?
I swear, they have magic mess making abilities, or else their imaginary friends are helping them.
Maybe they could get a talent management company to come hire these kids to make messes for movies and other stuff.
It's a gift, a pure talent, to be able to do this kind of crap so quickly.
I posted this on her blog, she wants to know what kinds of messes other moms have had to clean up, but I thought I'd share it here too.
But you do have to go check her blog out, it rocks.
My story isn't so much a mess, but a waste of money, and humiliation.
I had gone shopping at Sam's club, buy everything in bulk to save money. I was still a single mom then too, so I needed to save as many pennies as I could.
I bought huge boxes of cereal, snacks, ginormous boxes of tampons and pantyliners, and like 50 rolls of toilet paper.
I was proud of my money saving skills man.
I had taken all the newly bought in bulk bathroom items upstairs along with my oldest son who is 16 now, but was just 3 then, and we set to "helping" mommy put away all the items of shampoo, soap, tampons, toilet paper, and pantyliners.
Then the phone rang, so I walked to my bedroom right across the hall to answer it.
It wasn't a cordless phone, but I was trying to keep my eye on him.
He put the huge package of toilet paper in the closet, the same with the box of tampons and soap. He placed the shampoo bottle on the side of the tub, so I turned my back for just 1 split second to hang up the phone.
When I walked back to the bathroom, I almost threw a tantrum myself.
I cried, I know I did.
That huge box of 500 pantyliners that only cost me $3, were now all IN the toilet and he had flushed it.
It had started to overflow and he backed up giggling like clogging the toilet with mommies vagina cloths was the most hysterical thing ever done.
Till he saw my face and the tears.
Then he started crying, said he was "sowwy mwommy, *sniffle sniffle*"
I grabbed as many pantyliners out of the toilet as I could get, threw them in the tub, tried to reach in the hole and pull out the clogged ones, all while crying as loud as my son was.
Then I grabbed a few towels to clean up the water on the floor, and plunged the toilet to try and dislodge the ones that had gone beyond my reach, but to no avail.
I had to shut off the water and call maintenance to come help me.
When I explained to the crew as they arrived and I showed them to the bathroom, they looked in the tub at some 400 water logged pantyliners, and explained how I tried to plunge the other 100 back out but may have made it worse, they started to snicker, then giggle, then it was all out laughter.
Both my son and I were still crying, but they were laughing at the idea of my kid trying to flush 500 pantyliners down the toilet.
It was humiliating, but they used a toilet snake, a super strong air compressor plunger, and the other 100 came out and they tossed them in the tub.
I apologized, red in the face, I mean, just what did those guys think?
This woman must bleed like a slaughtered pig during her period, just look at all these pantyliners, just look at the giant box of 500 tampax tampons in the closet.
I was dying of embarrassment, and they were laughing.
The next day, one crew guy came back over and said he had something just perfect for me.
He led me upstairs to the bathroom, and installed a toilet lid lock that could only be opened by an adult squeezing on two buttons at the same time.
He said just in case my son ever felt like flushing his blankie down, this was definitely going to stop him.
I thanked him, he was still laughing, and I finally just blurted out;
"I don't have heavy periods! I wanted to save money buying in bulk! The tampax and pantyliners would have lasted me a whole year! I was just trying to save money! I swear I don't bleed like a chicken with my head cut off!"
That's when he busted out in the loudest laugh ever, and I was even more embarrassed than I was the day before.
April 1, 2008
Kitty in the cabinets.
I went out to find a little snack to munch on, and once again, I found Shahiro sleeping in the cabinets.
She knows how to paw at the cabinet knobs till she can get her head in there to jump in.
She finds the weirdest places to sleep.
She goes in the kitchen cabinets, on top of the tv, on top of the book shelves in the living room, on top of the toy shelves in Mark's room, and in just about every window that has a sill.
She also loves to sleep on top of the computer monitor in Sebastian's room.
She's a strange cat.
March 25, 2008
Like a milkshake.
All the various meds I take, can have some weird effects on me.
Some of them cause me to pass out and wake up confused, some cause me to be unable to sleep and very anxious, and some cause hallucinations, tension, stress, mood swings etc etc.
Well I took one of my pain pills about 3 hours ago, I was doing fine, the pain has totally relaxed away, and you could say that I am too.
Seeing as how I had barely eaten over the weekend, and no, I did not eat that devil made muffin, but I decided to have small bowl of ice cream, 2 tiny scoops in my tiny ice cream bowls.
It's vanilla with fudge swirls.
It was yummy.
And then just a few minutes ago, I was sitting here to do some things I've not been able to do for the last few days, I started getting hot flashes, dizzy, oh no, please not that.
I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, but no, the feeling just kept coming.
So I carefully made my way to the bathroom, and no sooner did I get the lid lifted, did the vomit come spraying out.
Now vomit is usually painful, burning your throat and nose, but not ice cream.
No, ice cream on it's way out, is like a McDonald's chocolate milkshake, slightly warmed up.
It was actually, sorta pleasant.
March 24, 2008
3 little pictures.
Niece Skye playing all silly with some shaving cream.
Niece Susan playing all silly with some shaving cream.
These things were surely made by some kind of devil, to intentionally sabotage a good woman's diet and workout progress.**
Continue Reading �
March 21, 2008
Mom! I finally pooped like Mark!
This was an actual conversation last night, but I was so tired, I didn't blog it.
Sebastian: *calling from the bathroom* Mom! Come look! I finally pooped like Mark does!
Me: What?!
Sebastian: Really mom, you gotta see this! It's HUGE! And it's wrapped around the bowl like Mark's poop does!
Me: No thanks buddy, I believe you.
Sebastian: Mark! Come see this!
Mark: *busy playing a game* Dude, it's cool, I believe you.
Sebastian: Mark, come on man! This is awesome!
Mark: *takes off headset* Ok man, I'm coming.
*both boys re-enter room*
Sebastian: Mark, tell mom how awesome it was.
Mark: Mom, he shit out the biggest turd of his life. It was like a tree trunk and wrapped around the bowl twice.
Me: Wow dude, you finally shit out a tree. Good job?
Sebastian: Yeah, it was awesome. Man, I never took a dump that big ever.
March 15, 2008
I woke up confused.
I try not to take the Somas because when I wake up, I am confused and don't know where I am.
Well it was raining for several hours last night, coming down pretty hard, and my back would just not loosen up.
So I took one around 8pm, and finally went to bed around 2:30am.
When I woke up this morning, I was really lost, or so I thought.
I woke up not knowing where I was, and when I realized I was home, I didn't know if the teens were home, what day it was, and I came flying out of my bedroom and scrambled from room to room to find them.
Sebastian was up and playing on his computer, and mark was still asleep.
But I hate that.
I just really hate that about that pill.
They work really well, but damn, why do they make you as confused as an Alzheimer patient?
I need to take a shower and go do more grocery shopping. The other day was just the odds and ends, household stuff, a small bit of food, today is the big food shopping with multiple coupons.
Always trying to save money ya know.
I wanted to share a pic with you, and seeing as today is Caturday, Christine declared it so, here's the cutest and funniest pic of Kali and Shahiro napping together.
Kali is one of those cats that likes to sleep on her back, all sprawled out, legs opened wide, and she can get in this position just about anywhere she feels it looks like a good napping spot.
Well, Shahiro thought between Kali's open legs looked like a good napping spot, so that's how they slept.
I walked in and found them like that, and just started laughing.
They didn't even flinch when the flash went off, so it must have been the perfect, and most comfy spot ever.
I suppose I should get in that shower now that half the day is wasted.
Later days!
March 6, 2008
I need lighter sheets.
Lighter colored sheets and bedding covers that is.
Right now my sheets and blanket are a deep burgundy color, and while I love them, they show cat hair so so badly.
All 3 of the cats sleep with me, Shahiro at the foot of the bed, Kali around my waist area, and Nova at the head of my bed near my pillows.
All 3 of them leave gobs of cat hair in their sleeping spots, and they never sleep in different spots, it's always those places.
Nova is the worst for leaving hair.
It's like in a pile, making sort of it's own fuzzy blanket covering at the top of my bed.
It's gross.
I tried using a lint roller to get it off, and went through 5 sticky roller sheets, and had barely made a dent in the fuzz.
When I wash my sheets which is every other day due to this hair collection, they have to be washed separately from any other laundry, or the hairs get stuck to other clothing.
Yes they do come off in the dryer and get caught in the lint filter, but I've had to run a small load of clothes twice to make sure all the hairs were gone.
So anyway, I'm thinking of gray or silver colored sheets.
Then if there were cat hairs, I wouldn't notice them and be annoyed by them as much.
March 6, 2008
Aha! There it is!
So my contact lens was sorta stuck in my eye for most of the day, and it finally popped out.
While I was peeing.
I started blinking a few times, involuntarily, and it just went *pop* and landed on my shorts.
I picked it up and placed it on the counter, finished peeing, and then put the lens in a case.
At least I didn't lose it or have it totally stuck up under my eye lid.
I've had that happen before to the point it was really lodged and burning, and had to go to the eye doctor and have him take it out.
That sucked, because he used that thing that keeps your eye open, and this special little plastic tweezer type thing, to grab the lens and get it out.
March 2, 2008
To see before I die, or he dies.
George Carlin.
I would love to see him at some point in my life.
The man cracks me up all the way back to his 7 words you can't say on television, to his new stuff.
And here is some of his new stuff, because what would a Sunday be, without a little religion?
part 2.
February 7, 2008
Crusty crotch pants from Old Navy.
Colleen bought two pairs of pants at Old Navy, she tried one pair on, bought another pair in the same style but different color.
On the day she wanted to wear the second pair, she noticed some other woman's vaginal discharge in the crotch.
Please go to Digg, read her story, digg it to the top.
It's awesome what's she doing with the pants now because ON treated her badly when she went to return them.
But I laughed, and I know you'll be laughing, but see, I know how this happened.
I used to work at Old Navy, I know their return policies, and where the products come from.
I worked mostly in the stock room bringing in shipments off the truck.
It was my job to unpack it, hang it on the hangers, place it on the floor.
I also covered the fitting rooms and helped put returned items back out.
First, ALL of Old Navy's items are made over seas. This should be a major hint to wash anything you buy from them.
Why?
Many times I would open a box and spiders would be in the clothes, or fleas.
Sometimes, I'd get done hanging over 200 pieces, and my arms would be itchy. I'd look down to find a major rash going on, on my arms.
From whatever was in the box.
In the fitting rooms, there was a sign up that said you must keep your underwear on while trying on clothes, but uh, sometimes the female customers wouldn't be wearing any.
That's the first way the crusty stain could have happened.
Yes, we could tell them they couldn't try on any more clothes after we saw nakedness, but that might cause a scene, and getting our manager involved in it was something the manager didn't like to do.
Heck, they didn't even like to get involved in blatant shoplifting exchanges.
The second way, is when items are returned.
All the Old Navy employees are required to do, is ask why you are returning it, and give the item a once over for outside damage to the outside of the garment.
We never were told to check pockets or look inside the crotch of the pants.
Simply look for outside stains or tears.
That's it.
That's the second way the stain could have happened, but she said the pants were new, so I'm betting on the fitting room scenario.
What did we do with returned items?
We hung them on hangers and placed them back on the sales floor of course!
Same with items from the fitting rooms that the customers didn't want.
In there, we never even inspected the items after they tried them on.
They were "new" after all.
We placed them back on the hangers, and on to the sales floor they went.
I've worked in retail and customer service for years.
The customer is always right even when they are wrong.
By thoroughly inspecting items and finding a stain like that, could cause the customer to start screaming that they didn't do it, that we must have sold it to them that way, they demand their money back, all at full on screech decibel, which causes other customers to leave the store.
It's best policy, and it was Old Navy's policy, to just inspect the outside of the garments and return their money, no other questions asked, then place the item back on the sales floor with no further inspections.
Old Navy hated to lose money.
Their items were cheap as it was, having to mark off an item, meant the store lost money, and I know for a fact at my store, that items that smelled like smoke, alcohol, coffee stains, baby throw-up, and other assorted problems, were placed back on the sales floor all the time.
The only items we ever marked off, we ones right off the truck, and usually only if they were broken.
But we'd even sell them, after writing it off as a loss.
We'd mark it down 20% and stick it in the clearance bin as is.
Colleen's story is funny and gross, but nothing new to people who worked in retail.
It doesn't matter what you buy and where, always wash it, spray that new purse down with Lysol, take a Clorox wipe to new toys.
You'd be surprised and sickened by what those of us in the retail field know about the clothes you just bought.
Wash them.
In hot soapy water with a bleach alternative if you can.
Some of the critters we came across, gave us the itchies and a rash that needed a doctor to treat.
January 30, 2008
Lots of strong opinions on the post below.
Most of the women would be as upset as my neighbor, one guy blames the wife for not pleasing her husband in bed, some think she should just tell him she knows, some think she's a liar too, some people think porn is just fine, others think she's violating postal laws by opening his mail.
On the mail issue, the husband has given his wife permission to open all the mail no matter what it is, because she is the one who does all the bill paying.
For the guy who says she's not pleasing her husband as the reason he's turned to porn, what if she is pleasing him? Does that change your view on his porn ordering?
For those who think porn is just fine, remember now, to each person their own. Not everyone likes or enjoys porn like you do. Some people find it nasty and disgusting, and truly oppose it.
He may indeed call the company and ask where his product is, and when they say they were shipped, he'll just keep checking the mail even more. This guy is not the brightest bulb in the bunch here, he lies about where he ate lunch everyday, he's not gonna come out and ask her for this.
For those who think she's a liar as well. Yes, she is, but as a wife who opposes porn of any kind, and has this show up in the mail with her husbands permission to open all mail and packages, she's doing what she thinks she needs to. This is her marriage on the line, not mine, not yours. Two liars under one roof makes for a lot of secrets about a lot of things on both sides of the marital bed.
Would it make any difference to any of you if they had a 12 year old son who shares the exact same name as his father, and could possibly open these packages thinking it's for him?
Does having a kid in the home make any difference at all?
January 29, 2008
Hey honey, did you get the mail?
My neighbor called me up yesterday, asked me to come over for a few, so I went.
I get there and she's wicked upset, like crying shaking upset.
I ask what's wrong and she hands me this package that she opened, it contains 2 DVDs.
They were 2 of the girls gone wild DVDS, uncensored, and the girls on the cover look to be way under the age of consent, but maybe that's one of the reasons why Joe Francis is still sitting his ass in jail.
So anyway, she's super upset that her husband ordered these, and she asks me to help her get rid of them because he'll just look in their trash for them.
I say yeah sure, why not, I'd be pretty upset if my husband ordered this stuff myself.
If I had a husband that is.
About 20 minutes later, her husband pulls into the driveway and checks the mail box.
He comes in the house, asks if the mail came yet, she says yes, she shows him what came.
I've got the package hidden amongst my huge stack of crap junk mail and Netflix movies.
He just stands there and says he has to get back to work.
Now today, he comes home at lunch time again, and again looks in the mail box and asks her if the mail came.
She asks him what he's expecting to come, she'll keep an eye out for it.
He says nothing, just curious what came in the mail.
He leaves and her and I crack up.
He is not gonna tell her what he ordered and waiting for. He ordered porn basically, so he'd be really stupid to say honey, I ordered girls gone wild and they are coming to the house.
What husband in his right mind, would tell his wife about those DVDs, if he ordered them behind her back?
He isn't going to tell her, but every day this week, it will be hilariously funny watching him race home to check the mail.
He won't tell her what he's waiting for to come in the mail, but he thinks he can get the mail before her.
It's funny to me that he's trying to get them before her, but oops, she already got them, and they have been sent out with this mornings garbage collection in my trash cans.
January 28, 2008
Better than a 5 pound sack of flour.
I am anxiously awaiting NBC's new show, The Baby Borrowers.
He looks thrilled doesn't he?
It starts on February 18th, and it's 5 super young couples, that's teenage couples, that want to be parents and think they can handle it.
They are all given the fast-track to adulthood by setting up a home, getting a job and becoming caring parents first to babies, toddlers, pre-teens and their pets, teenagers and senior citizens -- all over the course of three weeks.
They are calling this a social experiment.
I'm calling it fun.
How many of you women out there took the parenting class at their high school?
You know the one I'm talking about. Don't lie.
The teacher handed you a 5 pound sack of flour, and made you "take care" of it for a whole week like it was a real baby.
I did ok until the very last day when John Gagne decided to kidnap my "baby" and take it to all of his classes with him for a day.
Luckily he gave it back to me before my end of day parenting class, or Mrs. Lords would have bitched me out something fierce.
It was such an odd thing, that 5 pound sack of flour.
Nothing like a real baby at all.
It didn't cry, poop, eat, or sleep.
It just was.
This new show will be highly entertaining to me because as a single mom, I didn't have another person there to help me 24/7 like these young couples will have each other.
I want to see how these young dads handle it.
Men are always like I can do it, it's not that hard, but when it comes down to it, they usually cave faster than the girls do.
The catch phrase for this show is "It's not tv, it's birth control".
Betcha 5 bucks one of these teen girls will still want a baby at the end of this.
It will be interesting to see just how real it is, who bails out first, and how often the parents and others who are right next door, have to come step in and help.
This isn't exactly real life if someone is right next door to bail their asses out.
"all the while under 24-hour supervision by nannies and the real parents who are stationed next door, watching via monitor, and able to step in at any time."
Most young moms and dads do not have help right next door, heck, there usually is no help at all.
The show will be interesting though.
I'm curious to see how these kids do, and if this experiment changes their minds on having kids so young.
January 16, 2008
How did you find my blog?
I was doing some stat watching tonight, and one of the fun things about doing that is that you get to see how your visitors found your blog.
I love looking through the search terms to see what brought them here.
In no particular order, here are the most searched keywords that brought people here so far in the month of January.
original little mermaid movie cover
stick figures
term life insurance quotes
check n go lawsuit
fuck math
milk phobia
no on 1 florida
That's just a small sample of searches that helped people find their way here. I hope they were happy with the results they found.
I can't post some of the other searches because then I'll just get more of those searches, and trust me, I do not have what they are looking for. 
December 11, 2007
Santa's runway is melting.
The climate changes are causing the runway which Santa uses to take off and deliver toys from, is melting.
He's not sure if he'll be able to make it this year.
Check it out at Green Santa.
December 9, 2007
The menstruation story.
Back in the 1940's, Disney teamed up with various companies and did public service announcements, and some sex education films.
This is the menstruation story.
Enjoy!
November 27, 2007
Have a happy what?
Last night as the boys and I were watching Desperate Housewives, this commercial for Kraft singles came on.
I nearly bust a gut because some marketing genius decided that it would be awesome to start a new catch phrase.
"Have a happy sandwich."
The very first thing I thought of when I saw it was "Have a happy period."
Seriously, I had tears rolling down my cheeks from laughing so hard.
That marketing genius at Kraft should be fired.
Instead of wanting to eat cheese, all I could think of was maxi-pads with wings.
I didn't want a grilled cheese sandwich, I wanted a happy period with no leaks. hahahahah
They are having a video contest where you can win $50,000 by making a video and a sandwich with Kraft singles.
Do you think I could win if I took two maxi-pads and slapped some cheese in the middle, and said now I can have a happy period because I have Kraft cheese singles?
Hahahahaha
November 24, 2007
Cuticles and pharmaceuticals.
I just found that funny.
Cuticles, pharmaceuticals and skinceuticals.
I don't know why, but the sound of those words make me grin.
They just sound funny.
But skinceuticals are skin care products, and pharmaceuticals are something I know a bit about, and my cuticles are in need of some attention.
I'd go get a mani/pedi, but don't feel like spending the money or trying to figure out what the Korean ladies are saying about me.
They do need some work.
I hate toes, I could never be a pedicurist.
November 23, 2007
Spiders! *faint*
At breakfast this morning, Skye who was sitting near me, noticed my sterling silver spider ring.
I've had it for years, since I was about 17 I think, anyway, Skye does not like spiders, I do not like spiders, but I do love this ring.
So anyway, Skye being freaked out by the ring reminds my sister of this hike her and her family took the other day on a path near their home.
They were just walking along, looking at nature, when her husband stopped her and told her to look up.
About 1 foot above her head, was a huge spider the size of her hand.
Then they started looking around and noticed that they had pretty much walked into a huge nest of spiders.
Webs everywhere, covered in these giant spiders.
Sis let out a scream, which caused Skye to notice the spiders and scream, and they all freaked out and grabbed the girls as quick as they could and ran back out along the path.
I would have either fainted or had a heart attack.
Just hearing sis re-tell the story had my heart racing, my sons were laughing because I was honestly panicking just listening to her tell it.
She even took a napkin and drew the spider with the crayons Denny's gives little kids.
It was enormous!
I felt queasy, light headed, and just sick over the very thought of spiders that large.
I can't go into parks, national parks, I can't go camping at all. The whole idea of all those multi-legged critters everywhere, forget it.
Sleep in a canvas tent?
No way!
I don't camp at all, not even in a camper. The closest I get from sleeping away from home is a hotel room, and even then I make the boys go around the whole room and look for spiders before I can sit on chairs, beds, use the bathroom.
Just writing this is causing my hands to be sweaty and my mouth is dry.
November 23, 2007
Dude, I'm not crazy.
Sis came and picked us up at like 10am-ish, and went straight to Circuit City where we were lucky enough to snag a parking space as some really happy guy was pulling out.
We walked in, pushed our way through the crowds of the insane shoppers, and found a red-shirted clerk.
I asked him a simple question, "Do you have any of the Acer desktops that were on sale for $229, left?"
He gave me this look like I was out of my frigging mind, and said "We've been open since 5am."
So, do you have any left?
"We've been open since 5am, we're lucky we have anything left, but no, not that."
So we left and headed to Denny's for breakfast.
But look, I am not one of those completely insane people, who wake up at 2am to stand in a line at a store that opens at 5am.
Why do stores do that anyway?
It's their fault that people get up before the sun, it's their fault they have nothing left to sell during oh my gosh! normal business operating hours, don't look at me like I'm the one off my rocker.
Seriously, I know it's the one day of the year that companies do really freaking awesome, but come on, order enough freaking product to at least last you to noon you idiots.
Don't offer amazing deals and then stock only 10 of them.
Arrgh.
They did have tons of other stuff though, pink xbox 360 controllers, like a zillion of those, stacks upon stacks of tv utility carts, thousands of copies of Guitar Hero III
So yeah anyway, we went to Denny's and met up with my sister's friend Henata for breakfast.
I cannot believe how much food that little cutie pie pictured there ate.
That is Skye, and this is what mommy ordered for her, and what she finished completely.
3 kid size pancakes, 2 strips of bacon and 2 sausage links.
That was a kids meal!
Then she saw what I ordered and wanted to "help Aunty Kat eats it."
I ordered the meat lovers breakfast which is 2 eggs over easy, hash browns, 2 bacon strips, 2 sausage links, 1 small ham steak, and a 3 stack of pancakes.
Sebastian took my bacon and sausage, all 4 pieces, Skye ate over half of my ham and 80% of my hash browns.
I ate my eggs, the other half of the ham and hash browns, and then decided to try and eat some of the pancakes.
Skye kept asking to "help" me, so I kept giving her bites.
I asked her mom if it was ok, she said it was, and between Skye and myself, we almost finished the stack.
I looked at this tiny 3 year old who asked if there was more "meats and hashes", and said to her, "Skye, where did you put all that food?"
She gave me a super puzzled look and then said,
"In my mouf Aunty Kat."
November 23, 2007
Guitar Hero 3 turkey day battle results!
It was loud, it was funny, and in the end, I got my ass handed to me on a platter!!
We each played 3 songs, and combined the total points earned, not the percentages completed or correct, but total points.
So let's just get this total asswiping over with and get on to the results shall we?
In third place (me) with a seriously lame score of just 21,478 points, Kat! (boo, hiss, you suck!)
In second place with a very respectable score of 458,783, Mark! (w00t!)
In first place, and winner of the $20 Guitar Hero 3 Cooper Thanksgiving day battle, with a super most excellent score of 542,360, Sebastian! (winner, bow down)
November 14, 2007
Like OMG! U R so Gr8!
I rarely ever log in to Myspace, but I just did to go through messages and friends requests, and I had a friends request and a message that made my eyeballs bleed.
Public education failed this girl in a big way.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOK well baisically im judi ( waves ) im 17 i live in kingsteignton woo hoo ( not reli dat xciting ) ive jus done my as levels well drama thts it!.i av sum reli gr8 friends n sum not so gr8 friends but im not guna name names cough annie cough!!! i work but aint guna say where ill leave tht up 2 u 2 find out! ill give u a clue its the home ov the wopper!! i av a GORGEOUS boyfriend called colin he is my world! love u baby! any way im runnin away so COMMENT ME PLEASE i feel unloved! kisses x x x
And I know it says she's only 17, why she requested to be friends with me i have no idea, but she does not look 17 at all.
She looks like she's in her mid-30's.
I'm not kidding.
If she's really 17, she's had a really rough life already.
November 4, 2007
Sunday funnies.
Sebastian and I went to the store yesterday to grab some food that the girls could eat, and on our way there as we were walking, we saw this kid on a bicycle with a Chrysler 300 accessory emblem around his neck on a big silver chain.
Not a nice necklace chain either, but an actual chain.
He actually had the hood emblem on a real chain, around his neck. I about died laughing, Sebastian is elbowing me telling me to shut up.
What made it worse was this was a little white kid, probably around 12 or 13 years old, with his pants around the crack of his butt, his baseball hat on sideways, and this Chrysler hood emblem on his neck.
I was waiting for him to smile or say hi or something so I could see if he had a gold tooth or maybe some grillz too.
I was cracking up!
And also, yesterday afternoon while we were cleaning, I decided to film Shahiro doing what she loves to do.
Attack an old bicycle seat.
I know I sound like a total dork in this video, but the more you talk to her and tell her to kill it, the more excited she gets and does it.
She also will do it more if you pull her tail a bit which is what you see Sebastian's hand doing in the video.
I swear this cat is psycho.
She is 2 years old right now and still the size of a kitten, so we call her kitten, or baby kitteh, more than we actually call her by her name.
She is so tiny!
She's adorable and crazy!
November 2, 2007
Cat gack in the dark.
I just walked into my room to lay down and try to pop out my back, when I stepped in something wet and squishy.
I keep my room pitch black, so I had to go turn on the light to see what it was.
It was cat gack.
A huge steaming pile of cat gack.
I hate it when they do that!
I walked out into the bathroom balancing myself on my heal so I didn't track it everywhere, and tell the boys I need help.
When I told them what happened, they both started laughing.
Yeah.
Uh-huh, it's a real knee slapper boys.
November 1, 2007
I am so old. Older then Jiffy Pop.
Sebastian told me this a few weeks ago, I just forgot to tell you about it.
We were out at Walgreen's waiting on one of my prescriptions and he was wandering up and down the aisles.
He comes back with a popcorn machine, and asks me what it is.
So I tell him, it's a popcorn machine silly, did you read the box?
"Why do you need a machine? Don't people have microwaves?"
Yes, but some people like to make it this way.
"Why?"
Because some people just like it that way, some people like the microwave kind, and some people still even use Jiffy Pop.
"What's that?"
Jiffy Pop were these little things full of popcorn kernels, shaped like frying pans almost.
You put them on your stover burner, and sorta shook them back and forth until all the popcorn was popped.
"They didn't have microwaves when you were a kid?"
Well no, not until I was older. I think I was about your age when my mom and dad got our first microwave, and Jiffy Pop is how my mom made the popcorn until then, and I think microwave popcorn was invented a few years later actually.
"Mom, you are sooo old."
Thanks buddy. Love you too.
"No mom, really, you're old."
Really Sebastian, thanks for the reminder.
Turdnugget.
"Old lady."
Fartknocker.
"Old. Lady."
Ok, shut up now before this old lady beats you with her walker.
*He laughs and walks to put the box back on the shelf still calling me old lady.*
Kids are brutal man.
October 29, 2007
Organic Batter Blaster!
That's right, I said batter Blaster.
No, not that kind of batter, but pancake batter.
The Organic Batter Blaster is pancake mix in a spray can, kinda like whip cream.
They have a FAQ that tells you all about their product.
They have a store locator in the sidebar in case you want to try this out.
There are none near me, maybe you'll have better luck, and if you do, you have to get this and try it out and tell us how it is!
Just check out the little movie they have that shows you how this works, and tell me that this isn't cool!
October 28, 2007
No masks at 7-11 for Halloween.
On my walk today, Sebastian and I swung into 7-11 for some Gatorades to drink while we finished our walk, and spotted this sign on the front doors.
So If you are taking your kids trick or treating and stop in at your local stores like 7-11, no one, even children, are allowed to wear any animal masks, ghost masks, Batman, or any other face covering type of mask, into their stores on Halloween night.
The clerk said that Halloween is the night of the year that they get many robbery attempts because people are wearing costumes and masks.
She said kids can still be brought in to do trick or treat, but no masks are allowed to be covering anyone's face when they enter, and as long as they remain in the store.
October 28, 2007
It's the end, better be prepared.
I was going over my Amazon stats just now, and came across several orders for survival books.
I'm not sure if the same person bought one of each that is being sold, or if several people are all preparing for something bad to happen.
But this one, The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Extreme Edition
Odd.
What will you learn in this book?
Imperiled readers will learn immediate, hands-on strategies for surviving an elephant stampede, a 16-car pile-up, a mine collapse, and a nuclear attack. Discover how to take a bullet, control a runaway hot air balloon, break a gorilla's grip, endure a Turkish prison, and free a limb from a bear trap. Whether stranded on an iceberg, being chased by a pack of wolves, spinning out on a motorcycle, or being buried alive, The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Extreme Edition has all the right stuff for those times when everything goes wrong.
.
There's even one for parents, The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Parenting
I may have to check both of these titles out.
Ya know, I am a parent, and who knows, there may come a day when I need to be living off the grid and end up crash landing in my hot air balloon in a zoo in Turkey, and get thrown in prison, because I broke the gorillas arm when I broke free of his grip after being chased by the pack of wolves whose cage I landed in.
Hey, it could happen.
October 25, 2007
Google spanked!
October 5, 2007
Read on the interwebs today.
"Please refrain from curse words on your website, it threatens my morality."
Bwahahahaahaha!
It was said in total sarcasm, and ya gotta love that.
I just read it, and nearly spit diet soda all over my monitor. (Yes, I did make it out to get some more. After my editing shift was over. Mouth was very dry. very dry.)
See, some people write they like speak, like sailors on a hot day with a bad case of crabs, or some other equally "rude" type person, and they got rejected for excessive profanity.
As someone who loves to say fuck, fuck it, suck it and die, I feel this persons agony as they were told they curse too much.
But unlike them and their decision to not fight this one, I'm relieved I don't deal with that bullshit anymore.
Sure, I get the occasional commentator here and there, telling me ladies shouldn't speak like garbage men, but hey, who said I was a "lady" anyway?
I'm me, whoever that is, and one of the small things that makes me smile, is saying some word that threatens other peoples' morality.
*laugh*
Really? Your morality is threatened because I said fuck?
Wow, I had no idea I held that much power, but thanks for letting me know.
I'll be sure to do it more often. Ha ha hahaha ha
September 13, 2007
Kat, this is a serious subject. Stop laughing. Now.
I found the brick law building no problem.
Dr. B. was a few minutes late, but that's ok, because I had a stack of questionnaires to fill out for him.
How old are you, what meds are you on now, why are you here, check off all these diseases you might have, surgeries, childbirths, marital status, moods, vitamins, etc etc etc.
9 pages of questions.
So much fun!
Not.
Then Dr. B. comes bursting into the office and says hello with giant grin on his face, and rushes to the back.
A few minutes later he comes out to get me.
I follow him back, left, left, right, right, sit.
Weeeee!
We sit down at this little round table in an absolutely freezing room, and he starts reading the lab reports I had done for Dr. F., and then starts talking to me.
He's this little old German man.
With a stutter.
Dr. B: I-I-I would have to agree with Dr. F., that the reason you are having m-m-m-migraines, and ir-ir-iregular m-m-menstrual cycles, and in-in-increased p-p-pain during that time of the m-m-month, is because your tes-tes-testosterone le-le-levels are so low.
Kat to self: Kat, wipe that smile off your face right now! Stop it!
Dr B.: W-w-we can take care of this with i-i-iether a tes-tes-testosterone cream you would a-a-aply once a d-d-day at night, or w-w-with a tes-tes-testosterone injection once a w-w-week for 6 w-w-weeks. The d-d-difference is one in-in-insurance w-w-will p-p-pay for, and the other it w-w-won't.
Y-y-you also n-n-need t-t-to m-m-make an ap-p-pointment w-w-with y-y-your g-g-gynecologist for an exam.
Kat to Dr B.: I'll take the one insurance will pay for.
Kat to self: Kat! Are you listening to me?! Wipe that smile off your f-f-face right now! This is serious! LOL, Kat!!!! Stop it!!!
Dr B.: Y-y-you said you have tr-tr-trouble sleeping? E-e-explain for me p-p-please?
Kat to Dr. B.: Yeah, I have wicked bad insomnia for days on end. 4 out of 7 days, I don't fall asleep until well after 5am, the other 3 days, I'm awake well after 2 or 3 am. I have to force myself to sleep. I've taken every over the counter sleep aid plus melatonin, and there were even a few times I was so desperate to sleep, I took a couple shots of Nyquil.
When I do sleep, I am only asleep for 3-4 hours at best.
Kat to self: Kat, stop. Now. This poor old man, think of him would you? You're grinning again, stop it, if you bust out laughing, he's gonna feel bad.
Dr. B. : O-k-k-kay, have y-y-you ever t-t-taken Ambien b-b-before?
Kat to Dr. B.: Yes, I have. Right after my back surgery, they gave it to me for 30 days. It worked good.
Dr. B. G-g-good. I am g-g-going to give y-y-you some Ambien as w-w-well as the tes-tes-testosterone in-in--injections. M-m-make s-s-sure y-y-you ask the pha-pha-pharmacist t-t-to sh-sh-show you wh-wh-where on the n-n-needle to f-f-fill t-t-to. It's a very sm-sm-small dose.
I-I-I had a p-p-patient, g--g-give herself the wr-wr-wrong amount every d-d-day in-in-stead of once a w-w-week. This is how m-m-much, and y-y-you only in-in-inject it once a w-w-week. I-i-in 6 w-w-weeks, y-y-you w-w-will come b-b-back, and w-w-we w-w-will see how y-y-you are d-d-doing.
Kat to Dr. B.: Ok, Sounds good, but I have a question, will this make my hair grow faster and thicker, and in places I don't want it to? Like on my face and chest and stuff? I don't want to look like a man ya know.
Kat to self: Why. Did. You. Have. To. Ask. That?!?! Oh my god! Kat! Stop fucking grinning, look out the window or something, think of dead kittens! Fuck he's gonna stutter through this whole answer. Help me. This is serious business Kat, you have to stop!
Dr. B.: Th-th-the p-p-patient wh-wh-who to-t-took to-t-too m-m-much li-li-like I-I-I t-t-told you, y-y-yes, she grew f-f-facial hair, and s-s-some around her n-n-nipples.
Kat to self: Oh my freaking god! N-n-nipples! Hahahahahah! Please Dr. B., I can't take anymore, please let this appointment end. LOL
Kat to Dr. B.: Ok! I will definitely NOT be doing that!
Dr. B.: O-k-k-kay then, I-I-I w-w-will see y-y-you in 6 w-w-weeks.
Kat to Dr. B.: Great, thanks, nice to meet you, have a really nice day!
Dr. B.: B-b-bye b-b-bye. If y-y-you have any qu-qu-questions, p-p-please call m-m-me.
Kat to Dr. B.: I will, thanks!
*Pay my $150 to the nurse, schedule my next appointment for 6 weeks, and haul ass outta the office, practically run to the elevator, get in, the doors close, and I busted out laughing for 8 straight floors to the lobby.
N-n-n-nipples! Bwahahahahahaha!
I laughed pretty much all the way to the bus depot, and then nearly lost it when I passed the Sarasota Herald Tribune building, where they have 5 giant Monistat ovule "art" displayed.
I made it back to my side of town, went to W-w-walgreens wh-wh-where they d-d-didn't have the tes-tes-testosterone in stock, but w-w-will have it t-t-tomorrow.
Hahahahahah!
I told them to just have that and the Ambien ready tomorrow, and I'll go back and pick it up.
Then I went to Publix and grabbed some stuff for dinner, and more soda, and came home.
September 13, 2007
I'm just waiting for it.
I took a screen shot of something tonight to show people I wasn't making it up just to stir up trouble.
Anyway, I snapped the shot, posted it in the discussion, and then I realized that a search I was doing, is in the screen shot.
Click for bigger.
Bwahahahahahahahahhaha!
Oh my god, I had tears rollin' down my cheeks when I realized that is in the shot.
Why was I searching for marbles in girlfriends ass?
On another forum, a guy posted this absolutely, no way is it true kind of story about what?
Yup, marbles in his girlfriends ass.
I, and several others thought he was plagiarizing, so I went in search of the original story and found it.
By the time I went back to the forum, someone else had already posted the link to the original.
So now I'm sitting here waiting for someone on the other site where I posted the screen shot, to notice the search hit and say something.
I'll just direct them here to this post, and keep laughing.
Hahahaha!
September 12, 2007
The ferocious beast has been captured.
The wild and ferocious feline, was captured today.
Shahiro, as the natives call her in legends and stories handed down, was placed behind a single pane cage grid today.
The bottom shelving unit from the coffee table was being used to keep the roomba from entering the kitchen.
Yes I have the wall unit thingies, but no "D" cell batteries right now, so I rigged a wall unit.
Anyway, Shahiro was jokingly placed behind it, and she couldn't figure out how to get out.
It's not even as high as the kitchen counter where she jumps on it to get in the kitchen window and torture the dog next door, but she's obviously not smart enough to look up, jump on the counter, and jump into the dining room.
She finally just laid there, gave up, knackered out.
Poor Shahiro kitty.
But damn was it funny watching her try to get out when it's so obvious how to get out. *laughs*
September 12, 2007
I might have pee'd a little.
I just went to the bathroom, had my panties about mid-ass crack when I saw it.
What did I see?
A spider.
A wolf spider.
On my bathroom floor about 10 inches from my big toe.
I'm deathly afraid of spiders, and rightly so.
And right there, in front of my big toe, with my panties mid-ass crack, in a half hunched over position getting ready to pee, was a wolf spider.
I froze in absolute terror, hunched over now gripping my panties instead of the usual sliding down motion, I was clutching them for dear life.
I have no idea why, it's not like my panties could save my big toe from the evil spider.
Then Kali kitty came strutting in to be pet while I pee, cats know you're trapped on the can, so you're forced to pet them.
She was getting ready to rub against my leg, when she saw it and reached her paw for it.
It jumped!!!!
When it jumped, I jumped, and scrambled to get my panties back up and dash out of there as fast as possible, and Kali is this ginormous cat, and I stumbled over her, and I'm pretty sure some pee escaped while a quick squeely gasp left my lips.
I darted out of the bathroom, grabbed Shahiro kitty, and threw her into the bathroom with Kali.
What do you think they did with it?
They played with it, chased it around the bathroom till it went behind the toilet.
It's behind the toilet.
I cannot pee under these conditions.
There's a wolf spider behind my toilet, or by now, hidden behind the seat lid, or on top of the tank hiding behind my stack of magazines, just waiting for me to sit and urinate so it can crawl on me and bite me, or crawl into my hair, and bite my head, or let it's babies run loose, or all kinds of other horrible thoughts that have now gone through my head!!
I don't think anyone can possibly understand the severe trauma that one incident with the spider while camping, has caused me.
This is a paralyzing fear, I break out in a sweat, I can't breathe, and I certainly cannot pee while I know there's a fucking wolf spider behind the toilet!
September 7, 2007
Top 10 reasons by Christine!
Seriously, y'all have to go watch Christine's video on the top 10 reasons you should join PayU2Blog.com.
That was so funny, I was loving the sound effects, her reasons, all of it.
Awesome job Christine!
September 4, 2007
Leave it to me.
I went and took a shower because it was just such a long hot day, I felt gross, I can't sleep when I feel like that, so shower, shave, and hair cleaning was in order.
I was combing the conditioner through my hair in the shower, and I dunno, I think I sneezed or something, but I inhaled a ton of water, some conditioner, and hair.
Now, I'm like choking and coughing, on this hair stuck in my throat.
If you've seen my hair, you know how long it is, which means there's this giant, mile long hair trapped in my throat and it's not budging up or down.
I've gargled, I've taken huge gulps of water, soda, I've coughed, I've hacked, and it's still stuck there!
I feel like my cat Kali hacking up a hairball.
I guess in a way I am hacking up a hairball. *laughs* *cough* *choke*
September 3, 2007
I found my ring.
The ring that mysteriously disappeared earlier this afternoon?
Yeah, that one.
It seems that my troll is actually a certain kitten named Shahiro.
I found her walking around with it in her mouth in my bedroom, a few minutes ago.
Little thief.
September 3, 2007
The house troll struck again.
I have been wearing this ring since I got it, I never take it off.
I had it on, it slipped off right here at my chair.
It should be right here at my chair, or under the couch or desk.
It's not. It's completely gone.
Vanished.
We moved every piece of furniture, every single thing it could have rolled under, it's simply gone.
The fucking house trolls took it that fast.
I'm going to hire an exterminator for those little fucks.
September 3, 2007
Stupid dog!
Hahahaha! I love watching Shahiro torture and tease the dog next door.
It's so funny!
He's all barking and growling, choking himself on his chain to get at her, and he can't! Ha!
In other news, my nieces won't be coming over today. *sad*
Their daddy is not feeling well, but hey, at least we don't have to super clean the house today right?
August 19, 2007
It's time for a new shirt.
Go to Foul Mouth shirts, and help me pick out a new t-shirt to wear when I have to answer the door.
This is one of my faves, but I would actually like to pick up at least two new ones, so help me out!
August 17, 2007
There is no greater sin than central air.
That's just a short version of a line from a movie, but it rings true.
I love AC. I have it set really low, so low, the teens are usually wrapped in a blanket.
But some of the meds I take increase my body temp, so I'm always hot.
I stepped outside to go to dinner this evening, and it was so humid and hot, I was so glad sis' auto air conditioning was working perfectly.
I got in, buckled up, and turned the little vents right on my face. Then set my side of her minivan AC unit, to like 69. She keeps the whole car at like 72, but lets me switch mine because she knows how hot I get.
Oh my gawd! This one time, I went on a date with this guy who came and picked me up. He had a really nice mustang, black, really pretty.
Anyway, as we're pulling out of my driveway, he tells me the AC doesn't work.
I'm thinking wtf, but I just smiled and said that's ok.
I didn't want to be rude ya know?
So anyway, no AC on a date, going all the way to freaking Tampa for a party, at the beginning of summer.
By the time we arrived, I was a mess.
I practically ran into the house, and begged for a drink, and asked if they had a fan.
I was dying!
I could barely breathe, my hair was a wreck, my make-up had run, and I was just sweating to death.
The woman having the party was like what the hell happened? Did he attack you or something? Kat! You look awful, calm down, take deep breaths!
Another one of our female friends came into the bathroom the girl brought me into with a huge fan in it, and this massive AC vent in the floor.
They were both worried he had attacked me before bringing me to the party.
I told them my "date" drove us from Sarasota to Tampa with no AC. Even with the windows down and going like 90 all the way there, it's nothing but hot ass fucking steam blowing on you.
This is Florida! You cannot go without AC in your cars here!
I mean you can, if you're a fucking sadist!
But for gods sake people, get your damn AC fixed if you're going on a first fucking date and driving for an hour!
Needless to say, that was our first and only date.
August 16, 2007
Picture pages, picture pages.
Mark was feeling better, so I made him the home made hot wings I was supposed to cook for his birthday last night.
All I do is dump the wings on a cookie sheet, sprinkle them with a ton of cayenne pepper, and dump a whole bottle of hot sauce on them.
I bake them for about 45 minutes till done.
He ate the whole cookie sheet himself, (about 30 wings) except for those last 4.
Last night when Sebastian and I walked up to 7-11, this is what we saw upon entering the parking lot.
Four police cars. I thought the place might be getting robbed or something, but no, they were all (8 officers in total) just standing around inside drinking slurpies and coffee.
Do you think it's time for a haircut yet?
August 14, 2007
Shahiro needs a playhouse.
Shahiro is our kitten, she's not exactly a kitten, she'll be 2 years old in November, but she's still this tiny little thing.
Anyway, she needs a playhouse or cat house as I think they are called. I found some really nice ones on a site that sells pet supplies.
The prices aren't bad at all, and they have a lot of cool designs, shapes, heights, and different materials they are made from.
Shahiro runs all over the house. Up and down and over, every single piece of furniture. She likes to hide under the tables, and then attack whoever, or whatever cat or person walks by.
Unsuspectingly.
Ouch!
She would love a cat house!
I think Nova and Kali would love it too. Nova likes to hide under blankets and in boxes all the time.
And looking over the rest of that site, they have a ton of other very cool, very nice products for dogs, cats and other pets.
You should definitely check out the internet pet emporium if you're in need of a cat house, dog house, or other pet need.
When I get some extra money, maybe for Christmas, I'll get the kitties a cat house to play in.
Maybe then Shahiro will stop hiding under the tables and making my toes bleed as I walk by.
August 13, 2007
Roomba and other such useful robots.
The teens and I ventured out one day, to do some shopping, and on our way home, we got to talking about our littlest kitty, Shahrio, and how she needs to be fixed.
Sebastian doesn't think it's humane to strip her of her girly bits, so Mark started talking about inventions for cats, and for other people who might find it (spaying and neutering) cruel as well.
Now, you have to understand my teens are creative, witty, and slightly twisted.
They get this from me.
Sorry about that.
Mark came up with a brilliant idea in a matter of seconds.
"Kinda like the roomba" he says, "only for cats in heat."
The little cat robot would be on it's little charger stand and waiting to sense when your female cat has gone into heat.
Once it detects the meows from your precious furball in heat, it's robot eyes open and scan for the tell tale signs of the cat doing the belly shuffle across the floor with it's butt up in the air.
Then the cat robot would remove itself from it's charging base, and proceed to caterwaul to the female cat, seducing your fur baby.
The female cat will want it so badly, she won't care that it's a robot, heck, she's tried to have all your other pets, your shoes and the table leg, "help her out", why not a cat robot?
The cat robot is equipped with the anatomically correct size male cat parts, and proceeds to mount your darling cat.
It does it's thing, your female cat thinks it's been properly pleased, and goes out of heat.
The cat robot then goes back to it's charging base, and goes into hibernate mode until it detects the next heat cycle.
Now, while I laughed myself silly at this on our way home, it got me thinking, this could be useful to people who are truly against modifying their pets natural state.
Not only would people who find spaying and neutering cruel, possibly find it useful, but it would also prevent the accidental litters of kittens that no one wants, and the entire reason we spay and neuter in the first place.
We call it the Auto-kitty Roomba.
Continue Reading �
August 12, 2007
They smell manly now.
One of the other things we bought while out shopping on Friday, was some of that new Suave 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner for men.
They requested it.
None of the shampoos or conditioners currently in our bathroom have perfume scents, or fruity scents, I have scent allergies, practically everything I buy comes unscented.
But they wanted it.
I obliged.
Later on at home, I asked the teens as we were putting our purchases away, why they wanted that shampoo when we already have 2 in 1 shampoo that they picked out the last time.
They had me buy some Pert Plus like 2 weeks ago.
They said, "Because it smells manly mom. We want to smell good."
"So why didn't you just ask me to get you some cologne or something?" I asked.
"Because most colognes smell nasty mom. You start sweating, it ends up smelling funky. Like sweaty cheese. This is shampoo, it gets you clean, so it is clean, and it adds a manly smell" Mark said.
"Oh. My bad" I said.
They might smell a whole lot better if they would stop farting all the time.
August 12, 2007
@!#$#@! Ouch!!!
I had been washing dishes about an hour ago, and when I finished, I went to help Mark put away his new school clothes.
I have long natural nails, and I'm not wearing any polish on them right now.*
I was ripping open a package of t-shirts, and my left ring finger fingernail, bent backwards.
All the way.
Fucking ouch god dammit! @!##%$@!!$%#@!!!
My hands were dry, but you know how soft fingernails get after being in water for any lentgh of time.
They just get all bendy.
It freaking hurt man.
It still hurts.
Amazingly though, the nail didn't break or split where it bent.
There's no splitting at all.
See? I still have my nail!
*I plan on doing my nails tomorrow. I got a new kit of Nubar nail polish in the mail yesterday, and I can't wait to try it out.
August 11, 2007
I didn't make it.
Once again, I didn't make it to the end of the incredibly shiteous movie that is Battlefield Earth.
It is actually still playing on the CW, goes off at 2:30, but I just couldn't take another minute of it.
I've never made it through the whole movie.
Has anyone ever made it through the whole movie?
I've tried multiple times now, every time it's on, I give it a go, I think I even rented it once.
But nope, I can never, ever make it to the end.
Does it end?
How does it end?
No, don't tell me, I really don't give a shit.
Just once I'd like to say I finished watching Battlefield Earth and survived.
It has got to be the worst movie ever made in the history of movies.
Has to be.
I was attempting to finish it this time, I only had 30 minutes to go, and Sebastian says to me, "Mom, if you hate it so much, can I play xbox? You hate it, it's gay, stupid, sucky, shitty, horrible acting, did you hear that line? Dear god mom, let me shut it off and play xbox!"
So I conceded and let the boy play.
I wasn't going to make it anyway.
I was cursing the screen, yelling at Travolta, laughing at how bad it was.
But one of these days, I will make it to the end, and I'll make myself a t-shirt that says I watched the flaming piece of shit known as Battlefield Earth, and Lord Xenu is a fucking joke.
August 11, 2007
It ain't black, but I'm gonna rock it anyway!
I was sitting here half assed watching the truly terrible Battlefield Earth, and a Ron Paul for president video on youtube, (I was really paying attention to that) and a knock on the door nearly scared me half to death.
I had no clue who it was, so I didn't answer it, (I often ignore the door and the phone. If it's important, keep trying! LOL) instead I peaked out the window to see FedEx pulling out of my driveway.
I opened my door, not expecting any package or anything, to find this huge envelope sitting between my doors.
It said Triangle Direct.
Hey! I know those people!
I ripped open the package, and found 2 t-shirts, 1 to rock out like so;
And 1 to keep for ever, because it's signed.
Yeah sure, I could Ebay it, but yo, it's personalized.
JG said, "Sorry it's not a black shirt", and Keith said, "Kat, you rock!"
I think Derek is calling me Bloggy McBlogger, and Tony said, "Thanks for all your hard work."
You guys are so welcome, and thank you!
PayU2Blog.com rocks, and I'm happy to be a part of their blogging team.
People are gonna die to see me wearing white. *evil laugh*
August 10, 2007
They really are biodegradable!
I received a small box early this evening with a nice product in it, but it was packed with those styrofoam peanuts.
I hate having to dispose of them, especially if they are not the kind that degrades, because then I have to bag them up, feel guilty, etc.
So as I was unpacking the box and getting ready to bag up the peanuts and then break down the box, Sebastian tells me these are the kind that degrade.
I'm all no way, how?
"Like this!" he says.*
Step 1, dump peanuts in the sink like so.
Step 2, start running water over the peanuts.
Step 3, watch as peanuts completely dissolve in water. (hot or cold, doesn't matter)
I thought that was pretty cool indeed.
Continue Reading �
August 6, 2007
Are you a pee-pee chatter?
You know, you use bathroom time to make phone calls, or someone calls you while they are using it, ya know, pee chatting?
What about going to the bathroom as a group?
I personally can't stand it when people call me while they are using the bathroom and they feel the need to tell me they are peeing or pooing.
I also hate it when groups of women share the same stall at a nightclub or restaurant.
They say they are all
